Gene Simmons

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Police.gif OH SHI-
Gene often experiences 'heavy spotting'.

Remember that friend you had whose girlfriend threw him out of his house for being a loser and, feeling sorry for him, you said he could sleep on your couch? Come 10 years later, you and your budding family have a sneaking suspicion that he may have over stayed his welcome when you wake up to him, every morning, standing at your refrigerator with his 1 inch, circumcised, mishapen Jew dick hanging out and drinking all your juice. Some would say that this scenario describes Gene Simmon's music career in its entirety.

Gene Simmons is a known 70's fagrock kike who, on October 17, 2010, decided it would be a good idea to declare war on Anonymous.

Declaration of War[edit]

IT IS TIME.
Anons immediately assemble and move out.


   
 
Make sure your brand is protected. Make sure there are no incursions. Be litigious. Sue everybody. Take their homes, their cars.
 

 
 

—Gene Simmons on dealing with copyright infringement.[1]


   
 
It wasn't plagerism, it was an homage. I was only showing my being a fan of Bleach by coping it's art style
 

 
 

—Nick Simmons


   
 
The music industry was asleep at the wheel, and didn't have the balls to sue every fresh-faced, freckle-faced college kid who downloaded material. And so now we're left with hundreds of thousands of people without jobs. There's no industry.
 

 
 

—Gene Simmons

Jewingintensifies.gif


   
 
Some of you may have heard a few popcorn farts re: our sites being threatened by hackers.

Our legal team and the FBI have been on the case and we have found a few, shall we say "adventurous" young people, who feel they are above the law.

And, as stated in my MIPCOM speech, we will sue their pants off.

First, they will be punished.

Second, they might find their little butts in jail, right next to someone who's been there for years and is looking for a new girl friend.

We will soon be printing their names and pictures.

We will find you.

You cannot hide.

Stay tuned.
 


 
 

—Gene Simmons, straight after getting served the initial spanking for his faggotry, and still completely oblivious to the painal therapy he's about to receive soon


   
 
Time to stop the bullies. Time to speak up.
 

 
 

—GENE IS GONNA STOP THE BULLIES. [2]




Anonymous replies[edit]

It took over 24 hours just to notice this.
   
 
We are just getting started, Gene. Enjoy your downtime and welcome to the internet.
 

 
 

—Anonymous

   
 
Go ahead, Gene, take what little we have, all because we loved you.

This is hurtful, I grew up listening to KISS, it was a family thing for us. The songs bring back wonderful memories of my childhood, and time spent with my mom and dad...

We had all the CDs, but we lost them in a flood, so you know what? I downloaded them and got some burned CDs from my friends too.

We have nothing, we're dirt poor right now, live in a doublewide in the middle of nowhere, and have barely enough money to get by week to week. My mother's on unemployment and my dad doesn't exactly have the best paying job, same goes for me. We're living off food stamps, but that's okay. Since we're getting by.

He has all the damn money in the world, and now he wants to take these measly paychecks from my father and I as well?

I can't fucking believe you, Gene.

I won't tell my parents anything, since it would probably break their hearts to know you've turned into such a monster...

They met in one of your concerts, fell in love, and have been happily married for many years, despite not having the gargantuan amount of money have...

You've lost a fan, of the few, die-hard fans who didn't just wear a t-shirt with your logo for the shits, of the ones who knew more than just "Rock & Roll All Night". The kind that would have saved for months and months if they had to just see you in concert.

Not like it matters to you though, since it's all about the money now, you don't care about us anymore.

For what it's worth, in your favor, I just deleted every single one of your albums off my computer.

Not out of fear, but because I am ashamed to have once called myself a fan of KISS, and you, Mr. Simmons. I don't want the music of someone as egocentric, vain, and absolutely heartless as yourself to ever touch my ears again.

Your music will never play in the home of my children.

You are dead to me.
 


 
 

—Not So Happy Anon

As of today, Anonymous has fully mobilized its forces and is thoroughly pwning the colostomic FUCK out of all Gene related sites and Facebook profiles (family members inclusive).




GeneSimmons.com goes down[edit]

File:Go ahead gene.jpg
Not So Happy Anon.

SEE FOR YOURSELF Too late faggot.

For days, the site was getting bombarded with DDoS attacks until an awesome anon stepped in and decided to take it to the next level, knowing the attacks will eventually cease: the site was then hacked and replaced with a redirect to thepiratebay.org, the very site whose presence was under scrutiny by Gene's posse.

Several fans, upon trying to visit the shitty fansite, are rumored to have ended their misery a wee bit too early before discovering the domain was repurchased and the site reinstated. The damage was made, and the world can only wait before the fucktard himself revives the battle and actually attempts to sue a supposed anon for real.

UPDATE: Gene may actually be going through with this after all.





See Also[edit]

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Not Our IPs.

External Links[edit]

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