George Sodini

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After a whole month of lulz, June 2009 rolled out like a lion, and July 2009 came in like a lamb. July 2009 was a very long, quiet month, with only a few lulzworthy moments, but great things come to those who wait. August 2009 slowly rolled in and started off with a bang or two.....or fifty-two.

George Sodini is the latest an hero from our glorious US and A. Frustrated with his failed attempts at finding tr00 love, and just failing at life in general, George decided to etch his name into this country's lulzy, violent history and go for the high score at an LA Fitness in his hometown of Pittsburgh (Naturally, he failed).

...Well, actually, he didn't just "decide" to do it, he actually planned this out since the November of 2008 and planned to do it in January. Not surprisingly, George even failed at this.

Incidentally, George's sex life bears surprising resemblance to that of the "TRUE and HONEST" Christian Weston Chandler; a virgin with rage. His protégé is Michael J. Nicholls from Just like Sodini, Mikey's posts resemble a delightful lulz-worthy mixture of misogyny, depression, and psychosis.

Personal Life[edit]

An artist's depiction of George moments before going to shoot some wimmens.

Family members and neighbors describe George as being "socially retarded" and "love shy". Words cannot even describe how anti-social this luser was. Like many internets addicts, George suffered from antisocial personality disorder and spent most of his time being friendless in his basement and updating his website which, like his cawk, was seldom touched or viewed by other people. His website, which may or may not be viewable here, documented random shit nobody cares about, including pictures he took on vacation. The coup de grace of his whole website is his cherished blog where his plans of an heroism were typed in 12-pt Arial font.

A 48-year old computer programmer that worked at a law firm's financial department, George claimed to not have had sex since 1990 or a girlfriend since 1984, preferring to live alone for 30 years. Of course, like most claims made by internet personalities, these were just huge lies. George had always been a virgin, and never had a girlfriend (However, his claims of living alone for 30 years seem true). It's clear that God, being his lulzy self, decided to curse George into a life of celibacy in hopes that he could become an internet superhero. Like most loner virgins, George blamed other people for his failures and accused them of cock-blocking, including, but not limited to, his mother, father, sister, brother, cat, dragon, "ex-girlfriend", and "bastard son". How exactly any of these reasons resulted in him being a virgin is entirely up for speculation.

There are four reasons as to why George has never had sex or a girlfriend:

  1. He was a loner.
  2. He was a loser.
  3. He had a cat
  4. Micropenis

Most experts agree that he should have just gotten castrated and accepted his fate as a Virginbus operator.

Sodini on teh Internets[edit]

George Sodini

Age 48

DOB 9/30/1960

DOD 8/4/2009

5-10, 155 lbs

Never married

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA


—the status Sodini put on top of his blog.

Sodini taking a picture of a girl on her front lawn. Rape ensued afterward. This picture also probably served as fapbait for the pervert. Yeah for you, too.

Being your atypical anti-social loser, George has been on the internets for quite a while. Intelligence indicates that George has been on the internet since January 2000 when he created the web 1.0 website If you went to this website you'll see that you need to enter a password. The password is "crazyg". If you're too lazy to type things, just click here to go straight to his site. This website is much more meatier than George's then-current website (see below) and features many cool links, such as bible study and an interview with crazygeorge (his username...yes, he really is that lame) himself! was the location of his blog, which was removed by the web host after his pwning.

On August 2000, George moved his website to and password-protected his old one. The website is virtually dead and is just as fail as George is. The home page shows a link to a 1994 Saturn SC2 that George put up for sale and sold in August 2004 (What is with this guy and August?), some stupid thing where you can guess his birth date and death date called "Life or Death", his biking trail, and pictures of his vacation in California, where he stalked an innocent woman on her front lawn and took stupid pictures of buildings.

The full text of Sodini's lost blog can be found here. His blog consists mainly of him angsting about his oppressive family and people that have better lives then him (i.e., anyone that has gotten laid in the past 18 years) and talking about his "exit plan". When he failed to execute his exit plan, he continued to angst for a few months before getting the balls to go through with it. After his death, George's blog was removed, but not before skiddies found interesting things in its underbelly...

Shortly after his death, computer geeks found his blog and, for reasons unknown, decided to CTRL+U his blog (to the computer illiterate: CRTL+U views the sauce of a web page). Much to their surprise, secret, unpublished text was found hidden in the page's source code:

At the gym I saw a woman I like. I see her at the park and ride sometimes, so she isn't a stranger. Occationaly she makes good eye contact and smiles, etc. She is maybe 40ish, and attractive to me.

I made brief conversation to her and a younger woman she was with today. To get a friend like her (and for night time action) I would cancel this plan, or put on hold, at least for a while," he wrote.



But that wasn't the only thing they found. The old media, who couldn't get enough of this lollercoaster, found home videos Sodini made and posted on his YouTube account, YouTube Favicon.png MOSB46PGH. Be sure to check out his channel for some lolworthy comments.

My objective is to learn to be emotional and to, you know, be able to emotionally connect with people.


—How's that working out for you?

Okay, couch and chair, they match. Bet the women will be really impressed! Heh.


—Not really.

Here is the last blog entry ever made on his website:

George Sodini's Last Blog Entry.jpg

...and thus his voice was cast to the Internetwebz, and thus his voice spoketh forever. And the many multitudes cried out in adoration.

The Shooting[edit]

Believed to be a rough draft of his final entry

Since Sodini created his blog on November 5th, he had talked about executing an "exit plan". No one really knew about his exit plan, likely because no one read his blog or visited his website. Sometime in December, he finished polishing his plan and began practicing, getting more excited with each entry, even spilling the dox of his family and enemies. On D-Day, January 6th, at 6:45 PM, George was ready to do it, but at 8:45 PM he edited his blog, stating that his skill was not enough and he couldn't go through with it.

For 6 months George spent the rest of his days angsting about his failures, and preparing for a new date for his exit plan, which he was most likely to skimp out on again. Eventually, George decided that enough was enough and he decided to get a pair of balls and keep his promise to the American people to deliver the lulziest massacre of the month and the second-lulziest of 2009 (the lulziest is the Taconic Parkway Car Crash in New York).

On August 4, 2009, George walked into his local LA Fitness where a bunch of women were exercising. He placed his totally-not-suspicious-at-all duffel bag on the ground and paused for a moment before turning off the lights, taking out some guns, and sending some women to Hell's kitchen. He wounded several others before giving himself some Shotgun Mouthwash.

He killed three women, wounded nine, and used fifty-two bullets. He had planned this simple killing spree out for nearly 10 months, making him the most fail an hero since Codey Porter.

Like with most killers with guns, the shooting will no doubt spark national outrage amongst the old media over gun control, before blaming this on something that has nothing to do with the situation and then forgetting about it completely until the one-year anniversary/next shooting.

High Score[edit]

Graded Score
Kill count: 3/20 9 injured
Accuracy: 6/20 Spray 'n Pray
Style: 12/20 Generic spergout
Butthurt: 10/20 Low frag count, so noone cares
Bonus: 9/20 Incel manchild autist finally snaps
Total Score: 45/100 (F-)
The original Supreme Gentleman.
See full ranking

Wanted Level

Police Force

e-Psychologists Weigh In[edit]

Since the shooting, many e-psychologists have tried to psycho-analyze George's clearly fucked up mind. They have done nothing but point out the obvious: he's a loner with a fucked up psyche and a nice guy personality. However, some argue that George may have also been a big attention whore. Looking at George that may not be too far off from the truth.

Here are some quotes from some e-psychologists that have offered their two cents:

"These are the rambling messages of a likely psychotic" and display characteristics of a man who has been "severely depressed for a long time."


—No fucking shit.

He complains about feeling neglected and bullied by his mother and older brother, a classic grievance for high-profile murderers.



I know this guy just killed 3 women, but I can't help feeling sorry for him. I think the social disconnection experienced by people today is a HUGE problem. With all of the means today; internet, texting, etc, it seems impossibly wrong that a person could slip through the holes of a social net.


—Sneech47, blaming the internet for his lack of a social life.

This man was perfectly normal if you ask me. What do you think happens to anyone after 30 years of living isolated from everyone else? We're all isolated. But he was especially.


—KPetronis, pointing out the obvious.

I'm surprised no one noticed this connection in the same entry: "...a .NET software developer... I know I will never enjoy life." Somehow I don't think those two aren't connected.


—00Shrug, revealing the reason why you should always write in C.

People like Sodini get laughed at, and labeled as losers, and the next moment people are shocked when people like him unleash mayhem on the populace. Had one person showed him an ounce of kindness and empathy, perhaps things might have turned out differently.


—aspirina24, we should have showed him kindness, even though people tried.

Instead of using hand guns, Sodini could have rented a U-Haul and plowed into a bus stop full of people.


—heaverbill, LOL WUT?

George Sodini's 1 year anniversary[edit]

We must never forget what this brave man did for us, he stood up to those who had brought him down time and time again. Vain, manipulative she-devils who drove him to this. If we can grow to be half the man our George was then this world would be a better place. So on this day, August 4th 2010 I raise a beer to your George Sodini and wish you all the best!

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Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality