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The GIMP

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Another Gimp you could get

GIMP (Poor Man's Photoshop) is an image editor based loosely off of MS Paint. As the name suggests, it is pretty much retarded; the only people who use it are Linux users and Macfags, as they cannot run Photoshop and MS Paint respectively, or poor people who cannot afford Photoshop.

This program is a classic example of you get what you pay for: being as it is free. As if anybody pays for Photoshop.

Features[edit]

GIMP screen shot
File:Screenshot-GIMPY.png
The newer GIMP interface (only on Linux), It's fucking terrible. As you can see, It appeals to weeaboos as well.

The screenshot at right is the most advanced version of GIMP. It contains features such as the paintbrush, the pencil tool, and the almighty "Script-Fu". The Script-Fu is an omnipotent power feature that is a marvel even unto its developers. To properly understand the Script-Fu, one must know all things Scheme and learn how to think in multi-coloured fractals instead of in one's native programming language. The Script-Fu is not to be taken lightly—mess with it and prepare to die. GIMP even features more colours than MS Paint! You can also download new brushes from other places.

Keep in mind that MS Paint, the lame Microsoft image editor, while superior to GIMP for the quickest and nastiest jobs, does not offer the godly Script-Fu.

Interface[edit]

Made in GIMP
vs. Photoshop

It cannot be overstated how much GIMP's user interface sucks. It uses three windows: one for drawing, one for toolbars, and one for more toolbars. GIMP is able to do more than Photoshop, but it's not like learning to ride a bicycle once you've figured out how, unless you do the girly thing, and read the manual and figure out how to put all the toolbars in one window. Even if you do that, the Script-Fu and version changes will obliterate you with a laser.

In other words, the program's name is very (lol) appropriate.

GIMPshop: Still too cheap to buy steal Photoshop[edit]

For those who want Photoshop, but are still too much of a Jew or Republican to buy or pirate Photoshop, GIMPshop tries its best to make you forget you are using a sub-par MS Paint clone. Essentially, its a windowed version of the same shit, making it possibly even more crippling.

Gimp Users[edit]

This guy loves GIMP!

A majority of GIMP users are too honest or too pussy to pirate the commercial programs from the internets. GIMP is supported on multiple platforms, providing wank fodder for GNU groupies who cannot install Lunix.

CrimsonNightshade is known for utilizing the various features of GIMP.

Mascot[edit]

Pretty fucking gimpy if you ask me
A major source of Fail in GIMP

Note that GIMP project's mascot is a balloon head of a lame hybrid of a coyote or something and Mickey Mouse. Its name is Wilber. This proves that the GIMP is mainly written by furry programmers so that their artistically inclined furry friends can create better furry porn.

A hilarious point is that the creators of GIMP project were actually two programmers with no artistic talent, so they incessantly bothered the only incredible graphic artist they knew for splash screen art. Even worse is that they demanded it be drawn in their software to show off its incredible potential.

After putting the project off for weeks while trying to figure out exactly what the hell he was going to draw, he finally said 'fuck it', and drew the gayest furry mascot he could imagine.

Solutions[edit]

Windows Users[edit]

Mac Users[edit]

Linux Users[edit]

  • Shave off UNIX beard
  • Install WINE
  • Pirate Photoshop
  • Install using WINE
  • Realize the morality choice of not using open source programs
  • Kill yourself

See Also[edit]

External links[edit]


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The GIMP is part of a series on

Softwarez

Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

The GIMP
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