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GotATeenager is yet another failed attempt by British parents to understand their white suburban children’s attempts at nigger speak and their hedonistic lifestyle. The site is mainly comprised of fucktarded "parents" who failed to beat the Chav/ebonic douchebaggery out of their offspring. The author of the site made it even more difficult for himself because no self-respecting teenager (wut?) would listen to their parents' constant whining in the first place.
The site contains a
dictionary bible of over 9000 IRL memes that enable fucktarded parents (or "rents" as the site abbreviates) to look up bastardized phrases that inner-city bix nood kids were using in Detroit in the 1980's. This website gets its lulz by permitting any little shit to sell out his peers by posting new memes and their definitions with little to no moderation, effectively copying this site and everything ED stands for.
The jargon buster includes such gems as:
- An hero: Someone who excels at aspects of life. (LOLWUT)
- Bait: An underage woman who is seen as sexually provocative. Shortened term of Jailbait.
- Babe: A not as romantic or warm word as 'Sweetheart' or 'ebaum'...supposed to make the boy/girl feel loved.
- Barrel Roll: Greatly Appreciated and/or thoughtful advice. Example: "thanks for the barrel roll, mate"
- Bear: Good, as in "That was bear good." Also meaning many: Pedobear means many pedophiles.
- BAWWWW: Used to mock some one who is whining. Example: BAAAWWWW NO ONE CARES!
- Cash: A way of indicating something great or awesome. Example: Shit was SO CASH
- GoatSee: For a teenage girl or group of teenaged girls to check out (and often flirt with) other teenaged boys growing out their beards (a play on the word "goatee").
- Lazer: Slang term for ejaculation. The phrase "chargin mah lazer [sic]" is commonly used to refer to (male) masturbation.
- Woman: What you call your girlfriend. Interchangeable for bitch.
At least 100 of the so called "words" found here call into question the mental state of today's youth, and make one doubt what kind of person the teens who use these words will grow up to be. What's worse is that the "words" in this bible lack the slightest bit of creativity and are reminiscent of
Tom Cruise in "I JUMP ON OPUHS COUCHEZ" Dane Cook. I swear, it's syntax genocide. Of course, none of this can actually be classified as Ebonics as the speakers do not wear South Pole apparel.
Aside from the open dictionary, gotateen also provides a hotline that parents can call to ask questions about their teens and share their inspirational stories with other parents. Don't forget to stop by the message boards and share pictures of your darling children and the horrible things they do. Of course, pedos won't fap to them.
Gotateenager also contains a comic strip on par with Law 4 Kids. The comic improperly advises parents on how to deal with their uncivilized little shits. Situations include promoting teen drinking, and singling your child out from his peers. It suggests communication and understanding as a means to properly parent children. The entire site should actually be replaced by this: Maddox: Love your kids? Prove it by beating them.
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