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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A government is an organization set up for the purpose of obtaining hookers and blow for the leaders. Often these organizations get delusions of grandeur and decide they want to run things for everyone. When this happens, they have become sock puppets of The Man.
Purpose of Government
The primary purpose of government is to take people's money and to b& people who download too much CP. Also to keep people from discussing Operation Payback. Governments will also create laws to ensure safety of its citizens.
Some argue that the primary function of government is to kill lulz and hold down the black person. This is untrue however, as experts contend that it is, in fact, god who holds down the darkies, for quote, "teh lulz." It's generally regarded that nobody gives a shit about any of this and that the suffering of darkies is shit that nobody cares about.
There are many types of government, but most of them are democracies, theocracies, or autocracies.
Most of the internets is made up of autocracies, whether they are big autocracies like Microsoft or little ones like liberal. For example, ED
is was a Sherrodcracy. Autocratic governments generally succeed based on the intelligence and sanity of the leader, excepting Best Korea. For example, Iraq had Saddam Hussein in power, but he was batshit insane and got pwned by America which ironically gave him the weapons to do so.
Sample Autocratic Edict: "You will do what I say!"
Many two of the shitty hot places inhabited by sand niggers are theocracies. This means that they are run by the religious leaders according to what God says. (specifically, that He hates teh ghey.) The God is ALWAYS batshit insane but theocracies tend to survive because of the oil. Perhaps God keeps them alive for lulz.
Sample Theocratic Edict: "You will do what I say because God says so!"
Democracies are meant to be run by the people, or the representatives of the people. What this means in practice is that the
government (Update:corporations) spend vast sums on controlling the media so that the people (and the government) do what they're told.proof Most places in the west are democracies. The survival of democracy is surprising, as while people on their own can be quite intelligent, when you get them together they become utterly fucking mental. (see Asperger's syndrome, Audiophile, Chronic Troll Syndrome, Child welfare, NaNoWriMo, Paraphilia, Pro-Ana, Furry, Otherkin, /b/, Voraphile and ED for examples) and as a result output large quantities of drama on a regular basis.
Sample Democratic Edict: "You can do it your own way, if it's done just how I say!"
A dramacracy is a state which is ruled utterly by the forces of drama. Most trolling organizations are dramacracies, as is Bantown. Dramacracies are almost identical to anarchy in every respect, with self-determining users getting together to work for a common goal. The one difference is that in anarchy, the state survives on the premise that people leave each other alone; whereas a dramacracy survives by people not leaving anyone alone and then lulzing about it. BBQ also helps a lot.
Sample Dramacratic Edict: "You will do it for the lulz!"
Sample Response to a Dramacratic Edict: "Do it yourself you fucking nigger furfag!"
A cheerocracy is the state of total and absolute rule by perky, attractive female highschool cheerleaders. Extolled by Aristotle as "a manner of government esteemed by men above all others", cheerocracies have been among the most successful governments, due to the cute faces, pert buttocks and breasts, long, silky hair, and the overall wholesome, girl-next-door sexiness of the ruling class. Among the most famous cheerocratic leaders is Torrance Shipman, Aryan super-being and cheertator (supreme leader) of the Rancho Carne High School Toros. Under her benevolent but stern rule, Rancho Carne enjoyed what has been called the "Golden Age of Cheerocracy", in which rich and poor alike were encouraged to "bring it on" (do their utmost) in the pursuit of excellence.
Sample Cheerocratic Edict: "You will do what I want because there is a slight chance that I might fuck your brains out if you do!"
The Government's Recourse
If you interfere with the efficient functioning of the government, they have a few options open to them for raping you in return. Which one will be used depends on how much of a crap they give, and hence how many resources they're prepared to divert from important matters of state.
- Sicking the pigs on you - low level
- Kidnapping you and shoving you in a secret resort in another country to ask you questions until you give them an answer they like. - medium level (Or none if you are a Arab.)
- Coming in through your window at 5am to cap yo' ass - high level
- Invading your country - man, you really pissed them off! good job!
- Launching a missile at you filled with their secret chemical weapons - You must have tried to use your First Amendment rights.