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Graal

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Purify the emos on Graal, please.

Graal is an online game for Zelda fantards to go flame the fuck out of each other on a world that totally copyright bitchslaps Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past by stealing it's tileset and recoloring it, even though the staff members say that it is a C++ re-creation of Link to the Past (Where's the fucking Dark World?).

The game was built primarily by 12 year old, Antago the God of Gravity during online child laboring in Akron, Ohio when it was stolen by Unixmad in Paris, France. Unixmad orchestrated the scam by offering free hosting & game development tools using Zelda to avoid paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for the rights to his own game when he could just steal it and the millions of royalties & investments the content would make without lifting a finger or going to school for Video Game Design; the Zelda level making tools were released to the public and Bomber (the coder) and Unixmad (the marketer) lured children in to create their own games. After failing to steal from PACHUKA the God of Mischief, Unixmad continued to allow Galen the God of Chaos to portray himself as the Game Master when they were just luring independent game developers in to use the free software. Eventually they stole over a 150 level game called Destiny from Antago & FrEAk+ the God of Insanity, thousands upon thousands of hours worth of administration & independent labor, and an entire game called Bomy Moon from Antago along with minor graphics from the public at large, code from Kyle0654, some graphics from Gonmon, the idea for the NPC Server, and began selling Bomy Moon, the NPC Server, and Destiny that occupied 1/4th of the Classic Server while everything else was a hodgepodge of other people's levels including Zelda: A Link to the Past.

They used Zelda & Antago's and his friends' games to look like a game development company to lure in more people to steal from. Today people willingly sign the rights of their content over to Unixmad who hasn't made a single level, character, or game in his life yet takes credit for everything although the Internet archives prove this to be false. Lucky for you you can pay Unixmad to give him the rights to your content trying to get in all the fun & stolen dreams & lives from children & Nintendo for some sociopath piece of shit in control of millions of dollars & other people's fortunes through theft & lies.

The Game

Graal's game style is somewhat different from others, in the way that it totally sucks balls. It's a very linear coding of faggotry that they call "sheer brilliance". The funny thing is, every single server isn't owned or run by actual professionals, like other games, but 12 year olds who want to ban the person they hated because they killed them over 2,000 times and call them faggots the entire time (see: Elnendil and SadisticPhoenix killing Capone (more like CaPWNED amirite??)).

Staff

The Staff, as noted before, is run by retards who don't even know how to even run a server. Someone makes a server, and then people send fake applications and are promoted to ban people for calling them hypocties (the Staff members usually go off about saying how fights shouldn't occur on Masses and how you shouldn't curse in masses, but if you go into the most highly populated area and go "fuck", no one will really give a shit). Elnendil was a Staff member on Unholy Nation, and for about two whole months, he wasn't given one shred of work to do. What does this say? That the Staff name is just so you can kick someone in the nuts for calling you a name on the internets, since, of course, as noted by everyone, is totally serious business.

Emos live on Graal.

Members

The members aren't so hot either. Most of them are in the age of 9-12, asking for how they can "buy wings" (which is a stupid mother fucking shield you put on by saying "setshield faggotname.png") and insult each other in insults you used when you were about 4 years old. Also, everyone who does play Graal has at least 2 LiveJournal accounts and 3 Myspace accounts, which also proves at how fucking fucktarded these people are. Seriously, go on one of their server, and call someone a cockmongler. They will become the greatest an hero that ever lived.

Malinko

Malinko is a sand nigger that pretty much runs Unholy Nation (Gayest server with newbs that come up to you all like "LULZ WUNT 2 B MY GF") now, because of his stupid azn sand nigger ways of betrayal. He pretty much is a shitty fuck head dipped in a big fat bucket of shit and also thinks he's DA SHIT, well all his god damn scripts and GFX were actually all stolen from other people and he's just like "LOL, MAN I HAVE LIKE GOOD PLAN I DO THIS AND I WILL DO THAT AND I WILL MAKE GREAT SCRIPT WITH THE BEST RPGS LULZZZ". When all his actual great ideas were stolen from some mothafucka that i don't know the name of, but who gives a shit about them anyways. If you ever encounter this shit head, just spam him with KARI NUDES.

IF ANYONE HAS THE PICTURE OF MALINKO CUTTING HIS WRIST, UPLOAD IT AND PUT IT AS A THUMBNAIL

Servers

Graal lets the shittiest coders and graphic designers make a server so they can be called "the greatest artists and coders in all the land", until someone messes up and calls them total faggots and that you're doing it wrong. The choices let you change the entire aspect of this shithole from shit to piss, so it's either a Golden Shower or you brick in their mouths, your fetish is fucking granted. In order to become the greatest player on any one of these servers, you must set all your colors to black, and look as oldbie as possible (use the original heads, or edits of them (lol copyright dodge, typical of Graal users). No one will stand in your mother fucking way.

Unholy Nation

The Staff call this server a PK server, but in actuality, it's the "Flame 2 year olds with 1 year old jokes" server. The only REAL reason to play this is to get about 9 people and rush someone and kill them, because killing someone in this game takes no skill at all (all you need is a shitty connection). They have a collection of staff-made events, which is made of fail and AIDS. Play Vertigo and watch your character magically go through floors and kill itself. Oh, and since this game is for "the family" (oh fucking please, people Graal fuck on here (more on this later)), so if you say "cunt" on masses, you are permabanned. They believe that they pwn Zodiac, even though both Zodiac and Unholy Nation are for faggots.

Unholy nations staff are also the must untrustworthy people on graal. They never keep promises. And wait forever to fix things.

Zodiac

A RPG server made by Cloud fanboys. The only decent thing about this server is that it doesn't follow the faggotry of other servers' fighting style, but that doesn't even mean that it's even good. They abuse custom graphics like a whore and try to prove that their skills are serious business even though everyone right now is playing World of Warcraft and Phantasy Star Universe. Good job faggots, you just worked for a whole year on a server nobody fucking cares about.

Update: This Server is Ran by some British Faggotry, who claims to be a paperboy in real life, that goes by the name Drander. He's one of the good Examples that proves how Graal Staff System works.

You start of as a gay shitty Graal Police Guild. You Suck Staff Dick. Get a Promotion. Suck more Dick. And Then you're Manager By a Dumb Fucking Graal Global aka No life fucks.

Then later on you will remain as a virgin in real life and still be living in your mother's basement without a job. The only thing you'll get close to sex is GraalPussy.png.

Era

Pure faggotry. If you want to insult a wigger, go right here, because this is wigger capital. In this server, you use guns, and run around while your bullets travel at the speed of about 0.01% of what a real bullet's speed is, and everyone believes they are badasses. Don't worry though, it's rumored that if you PM the head and say "crap", you get permanently banned. Rumor has it that gangsterelijah loves this server to the point that when he hears that there's a gathering place for niggers, he will begin masturbation procedures.

Valikorlia

Not much to say, it's a RP server which doesn't even give you weapons to use. You have to suck the dicks of the staff members, and if you want a decent weapon, you gotta let them brick in your mouth. It used to be a very well respected RPG server with pretty shitty RPing, but the creator thought that the best idea for the server was to delete everything that had a RPG-style and make it so you run around like an elf and get fucking shot with no real damage taken, and you're supposed to fall down. Obviously, when there is a massive RP server, there is bound to be a mother fucking furry.

Classic

This server is the oldest shittiest server ever known. It was actually decent and had an actual storyline, unlike every other server who claims this, even though you can beat the server in about 10 minutes (Unholy Nation). They deleted the entire server, though, even though they could just change the coding, and they stopped working on it. Good job, you fucking retards.

Other Servers

Who fucking cares, it's shit nobody cares about.

File:Dread.jpg
Dread is smilin cause he just got laid on the internets

Pedophiles

This game is pretty much inhabited by 14-17 year old girls, which is breeding grounds for pedophiles, some of the most famous pedophiles later to be shown on NBC can be first found on Graal Online!

Dread

Ryan William O'neil, aka "Dread", is a fat 500 pound Australian whale who works at Pizza Hut. Dread only plays Graal to get his stubby 1 incher hard by hitting on and talking to 11-14 year olds. He's most famous for having logged and screencapped pictures of him cybering and having "Graal Sex" with Joley, a 12 year old kid who uses fake pictures. He can still be seen here and there lurking in the corners of Graal.

Give Ryan/Dread a holla on Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/ryanzeechef
MSN: [email protected]


   
 
When I was 5 my Dad was abusive and kicked me in the nuts, that's why I can't ever have children.
 

 
 

File:KariNude1.jpg
MAH EYES POKE THEM WITH STICKS

Memorial Moments

Kari (InusGirl09)

Kari(The Cocaine addict with fat boobs), who became staff on Unholy Nation by being a fat camwhore decided to send nude pictures of herself to Malinko, the sand nigger. Once he received the nude pictures of Kari he began sending them to friends, 2 hours later it was spammed all over graal leaking onto everyones computer. She went on a jailing spree, jailing innocent victims for even Discussing the disgusting fat pig's picture. Then soon afterwards, she became suicidal and claimed she was quitting Graal for a week, but like every attention whore cow, she was back on the next day. Kari is a prime example of your typical staff attention-whore: fat,ugly, and So RONERY.

SAMMY IS A FILTHY WHORE

Sammy (WolfVvvV)

Well, I don't know much about this chick. Recently she called Kari a slut for being a 16 year old cam whore. Well, epic lulz have been accomplished, Thallen leaked pictures and videos of her. Is known around graal for being a whore and being able to stick carrots down her throat, gives 1hour cam sessions.

Fogles

owner of anti-graal.com anti-unixmad.com and all sorts of other faggy pretend hack sites, has claimed he will commit suicide more than 3 times.

Fogles is your typical 'Rebellious' graalian who got banned for exploiting hacks and now spends money buying account after account so he can attempt to hack graal, usually doing 13 seconds of damage before the admins ban his account and reset what he's done, goodjob!

Graal's Stupid Shit

Obviously, Graal produces some pretty God damned retarded shit. Let's talk about some, shall we?

Graal Sex

Graal Sex is a Graal meme and is actually used on Graal. It's the act of getting two people in a bed, one looking up in the bed, and someone getting on top of them, and pulling. If you walk into a room that people are Graal Sexing in, you are required to kill the fuckers where they stand.

Graal Staff

Graal staff consists of various groups of people Emo's,12-13 year olds,Scene Girls and overall depressed losers. These people feel that becoming a staff member on a game meant for children will somehow boost their self-esteem, usually after about 3 months of realizing that NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THEM they quit, or get fired for not doing anything.

Graal's Suicides

No wonder he killed himself

Shawn 64 (aka Shawnicide)

On Unholy Nation, a man by the name of Shawn 64, who made the shittiest graphics ever fucking seen, killed himself Over some chick named "Claudie". This is probably why Graal has so many an heroes and cutters, because everyone sees this little faggot as a God. $5 that he pulled a Sonic-cide. His shrine is on some island nobody cares about. Good job, you killed yourself over a mother fucking game.

Oops i forgot my seatbelt.

Madrox (aka Madwreckz)

Valerie aka "Madrox" was killed in July, on Friday the 13th (NO JOKES LULZ) she was driving her moms car when out of nowhere a semi truck smashed her car into nothing. Thankfully the driver of the semi-truck was not killed, and thankfully she was. Just a quick note about Madrox is that she was NOT wearing a seatbelt, and in her state that is a crime, which makes her a criminal, and criminals burn in hell.

Sar

Sar was from Alberta, Canada. She actually wasn't that bad of a person, but in the end killed herself over some internet boyfriend, so she deserved it.

Links

(Website mostly died, but fogles is apparently still around.)


Froglok.jpg
Graal is part of a series on MMORPGs. [Gratz!Ding!]
Forerunners:

AngbandDiabloDungeons & DragonsFATALRagnarokRogueWarhammer 40,000

MMORPGs:

Age of ConanAnarchy OnlineCity of HeroesConquer OnlineDark Age of CamelotDarkfallEarth EternalEVE OnlineEverQuestEverQuest IIFinal Fantasy XIFinal Fantasy XIVFree RealmsHero OnlineLifeMapleStoryMinecraftPangyaRagnarok OnlineRuneScapeRuby Dragon EntertainmentSilkroad OnlineStar Wars: The Old RepublicTabula RasaToontownUltima OnlineWikipediaWorld of WarcraftWWII Online

Semi-MMORPGs:

Diablo IIDiablo IIIEndless OnlineFurcadiaGaia OnlineGraalGuild WarsKingdom of LoathingProgress QuestSecond LifeTibiaWar Thunder

Developers:

Blizzard EntertainmentJagexSony Online Entertainment

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Baby GraceAtheneBattle.net ForumsBloodraptorCloudsongDarknestDurthasEQ2FlamesGoon SquadHelmJammnoJennichelleJRangerLeeroy JenkinsMaartenMurlocOwlsamanthaRick Astley ForumShawn WoolleySilver CircleZezima