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Hi, I'm Retarded.
"ummm. Hi! I'm New. This is my bush", Kallie
Need instant cool? Pretend you run's site
Cody Smith aka thesmit (e-pal of Matt Foremski), is the evil ginger kid that made the video for the website
Matt's mock support team and proof that Matt Foremski is a racist failure

"Hey YouTube viewers, I'm new. Umm. I hope you welcome me..", the prophetic words of GreenTeaGirlie; an epic ten second """viral""" clip that became just another failed marketing meme.

  • JewTube banhammered the original vidya, above is a clip compilation

Honors for This Video:

  1. 1 - Most Viewed (This Week) - All
  2. 1 - Most Discussed (This Week) - All
  3. 2 - Most Discussed (This Month) - Entertainment - All
  4. 666 - Most Linked (This Week) - Entertainment - All

Event List[edit]

Updated 23 June 2007.

Appropriately enough for the time of year, the Mad March Hares are giving way to the April Fools, with everyone involved in the GreenTeaGirlie fiasco trying to fake-out everyone else.

What is known:

25 March 2007 (PT)

The I'm New video is posted on YouTube by GreenTea Girlie. The video was spammed approximately 20,000 times to put it onto the most viewed pages and then curiosity, the "young female" icon, controversy and even more spam gained the video its current view count of 278,803.

26 March 2007 (PT)

The Kallie is my name video is posted on YouTube by GreenTeaGirlie. By this stage GreenTeaGirlie had 800+ subscribers and 1,000s of new viewers being directed to her channel by people making videos about "the new LonelyGirl15", so there was no need for her to spam her video onto the most viewed/discussed pages as the "haters" did it for her (much the same as was done for DaxFlame). The video has 222,051 views to date.

26 March 2007 21:14:46 (MDT) - continued:

The URL was registered. The original Registration did not include the "JD McBride d/ba/" line. The Name of the original registrant (now removed from the Whois record) was Mat Cha (Mat Cha is a brand of Japanese Green Tea, so this was probably a bogus name to go with bogus registration details). Registrant Contact Info:

  • JD McBride d/ba/ AKA XiHu Organic
  • Beijing CN
  • 100037
  • Phone: +86.29234123880
  • Email Address:

The address is for downtown Beijing, but could well be bogus or "borrowed" by the fakers who registered The URL (and com URL) was registered almost 7 months previously on 8 September 2006 (and had been sitting dormant until now). Registrant Contact Info:

  • Mark Andrews d/b/a Vidstars Inc
  • 1900 Eddy St
  • San Francisco
  • California US
  • 94115
  • Phone: +1.4154118920

OR Matthew Foremski +1.7078232145

  • Email Address:

26 March 2007 (MDT) - continued:

It is currently supposed that the URL squatter, Mark Andrews, had none of his own uncopyrighted content to place at the URL and no webspace/bandwidth to host it in any case. The site shows that he has absolutely no Web Design ability. This is believed to be the reason why he temporarily redirected the URL to the online Tea Trader website without the knowledge or permission of's owner. Having Dragonwater deal with the backlash caused by the original GreenTeaGirlie video being cheated onto the most viewed pages was most likely just a bonus for Mark Andrews.

1 April 2007 posted a denial of having any involvement with the GreenTeaGirlie fiasco on the site's blog.

2 April 2007

The log-a-date (hidden camera) intro video is posted on YouTube by GreenTeaGirlie. (Only getting 13,856 views to date). Despite the fact that GreenTeaGirlie claims to be setting up the secret (voyeur-style) videoing of a new boyfriend, an engagement ring is is clearly visible on her finger (which she later claimed was to keep perverts away. This is of course a lie since YouTube is home to every class of pervert known to man (and beast) and if anyone really wanted to keep perverts away they would not post videos on YouTube in the first place).

4 April 2007

The URL redirect was changed from to "Mark Andrews" who made the woefully pathetic website/webpage claimed to be able to arrange for all sorts of YouTubers from the Top 100 list to do a barrel roll naked while singing Dixie if they were paid enough money. Anyone who has spent more than 3 hours on the YouTube website will know all too well that YouTubers will do a naked barrel roll for free as long as someone is pointing a camera at them. The only hard part is finding one that can memorize the lyrics to Dixie.

"Mark Andrews" is behaving like just another scammer looking to make money as New Media parasite, the same as Damien Estreich (YourTubeNEWS) and Cory Williams (SMPfilms) .

It remains to be determined who "Mark Andrews" really is and whether or not GreenTeaGirlie is working with him for the lulz or if he is just another URL squatter, riding the coattails of the latest clown in the YouTube Web2.0-compatible freakshow.

Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton,

Old times there are not forgotten,

Look away, look away, look away Dixie Land.

4 April 2007

Trevor Rieger pointed out on his UTubeDramaAgain channel that the video used on the page was a Cody Smith video. Cody Smith was a friend of Matt Foremski, who in turn was one of the original people to dig up Real Life pictures of Jessica Rose/Lonelygirl15. Matt Foremski was also one of the original people to admit to watching Lonelygirl15 videos despite the fact that he was an adult male.

7 April 2007

GreenTeaGirlie, Kallie updates and creates a clip in which she claims:

  • she NOT behind management (meaning or Matt Foremski)
  • she sells green tea everyday
  • reminds users that her camera cost 60 bucks at Best Buy, and was setup by her computer wiz friend.
  • explains she taped her date; however, will not feature the recording on her channel
  • reminds users again and again, her name is Kallie

Kallie goes onto to thank IRL fanboi Wouffman. It remains unclear whether Wouffman is retarded, bored, or a spy. Regardless, Kallie then goes on a diatribe about Pugs. In fact, she mentions she will "breed them one day", and that she loves "bumble pug" calendar warez. She goes on to demand that users send video responses with their ugly pugs. In conclusion, she ends her bullshit Easter afternoon clip requesting her users if they have "any ideas" to let her know. Instead, users leave comments telling her to stop polluting their internets. Kallie logs off to go tanning, again.

5 May 2007

The website published an article in which they interviewed all the people involved in the GreenTeaGirlie affair. The article established the following facts:

  • was sham site created by a liar called Matt Foremski with the help of a ginger called Cody Smith. Foremski is now seeking to sell the Vidstars concept to someone who wants their business associated with fraud and failure (good luck with that). Matt Foremski is Mark Andrews.
  • Wannabe New Media parasite Christopher Sams, (an economics major at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City), was the ex-boyfriend computer nerd who spammed GreenTeaGirlie's first video onto the most viewed pages. He also created the website.
  • She then went back to making another video related to Daxflame, an artificial drama manufacturing channel on YouTube and the primary target for haters just arriving on the site.

CURRENT 2007 Kallie continues to insist she is real, and that she quote "sells Green Tea everyday". It's important to note she uploaded a video in which he danced like a whore, and expressed her admiration for "haters". It is assumed that GreenTeaGirlie will continue to be a hot sexy sappy minded hoe for years to come.

The Trevor Rieger Factor[edit]

So far anyone who stands up against this forced viral marketing is paid a visit by the banhammer wielding men in black. The greenteagirlie’s most vocal critic Trevor Rieger has been banned over 9,000 times since he first did his exposé on her; thus proving that if Google want you to eat shit, YOU WILL EAT SHIT!

Green Tea Norwegian Girl Conspiracy ?[edit]

  • It remains unclear how this screen cap works into the Green Tea bullshit, and it is included only for the benefit of completionists and readers who may wish to communicate with an old, fat, hairy-backed Norwegian pretending to be a 20-year-old Utah Mormon.




—GreenTeaGirlie Kallie

Hi, I'm new ...


—Kallie speaks and sounds the horn for the YouTubemageddon

Uhhh..ummm..yeah, so thanks for your comments...uhhh...yeah



...I'm a waste of time



EDiot Research[edit]

  • According to,

I would introduce you to Vidstars, but, chances are you've met us already. That's because we were there when you saw boh3m3 go for that Dr. Pepper® Berries & Creme. We were with LittleLoca when she went to fill her prescription for YAZ®; we're the EGCG in the DRAGONWATER® green teas that keep GreenTeaGirlie so damn radiant. Get the idea? We're here to promote your products. Right now.

  • Vidstars was created by a liar called Matt Foremski and red-headed republican conservative ginger called Cody Smith.

A Special Word From Kalinda?[edit]

  • According to the bogus website as of April 05, 2007

Hi, I'm Kallie, and I'm sure u already know a little about me if u got to my webpage!! I'm 22 and a senior at UCSB and im doing whats called a "Green" MBA... it's very new.. I care about the Environment and I love green teas. I did my JYA in China and spent last summer in Xi Hu (like lake county) region learning about life, the universe, mandarin.. and of course green tea! Anyways I know nothing about htmlpages so i am going to get my good friend Mark to do this for me this weekend. While my new site is being built, visit, if you care about what's happening to our Environment and want to do something about. The future is right now folks. Also, please don't email me any more for my facebook, msn etc... I'm not sure im ready to give up all my anonymous just yet.. Lemme think about it ;)! Peace ~~Kalinda

External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]

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GreenTeaGirlie is part of a series on YouTube.



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