Grotesque

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Grotesque is a Japanese rom-com featuring a new twist on the timeless love-triangle story. Due to its bracingly inventive commentary on love in the 21st century, some unimaginative fucks in the United Kingdom banned the uncensored version because it “features minimal narrative or character development and presents the audience with little more than an unrelenting and escalating scenario of humiliation, brutality and sadism": a clear indication that britfags have no sense of romance. The director of the film, Koji Shiraishi, admitted that he knew the film would be too avant-garde for the hysterically prudish British populace to handle, and had anticipated the outrage.

Plot[edit]

A romantic comedy with an extra dose of lulz, Grotesque features a love triangle-type plot between a couple and a surgeon who loves them both: a man who is believed to be Josef Heiters azn persuazn (hence his name, aznJoe). Wanting to sort out their confusing three way relationship, he takes them both to his basement where he attempts to reach a final solution. Unfortunately, the couple are extremely cruel and constantly try to escape: a stupid and pointless thing to try which forces the poor man to tie them down. Over the course of the next several days, Azn Joe performs surgery on them free of charge and demonstrates his love to each member of the couple, allowing the other to watch.

Being the sick fuck masochists that they are, the couple decides that they are enjoying hurting the poor doctors feelings so much that they would rather continue to receive abuse to torture his emotions than escape alive. The situation escalates to the point where aznJoe is so sad he remorsefully places the boyfriends intenstines to a hook and hands him a pair of scissors. aznJoe, being a pretty cool guy tells the boyfriend they can both go free if he can cross the room and cut her ropes free (disemboweling himself in the process). When the boyfriend fails this easy task, he becomes a sore loser. Being void of trolls remorse he decides to fuck with aznJoe one last time. The girlfriend verbally abuses him beyond cruelty before she is decapitated. Her head bites his neck before hitting the ground for one last dose of lulz. With aznJoe distracted, the boyfriend trolls him one last time by cutting his ankle with the scissors before dying in a puddle of blood, vomit, and entrails.

Throughout the movie, aznJoe performs such operations on his lovers as:

  • Cutting the mans side and making him vomit by massaging his stomach
  • Chainsawing off each persons fingers and turning them into a necklace for the other to wear
  • Cutting off one of her titties
  • Cutting off one of her arms
  • Cutting off his balls
  • Hammering nails into his pelvic region
  • Raping one while the other watches
  • Forcing the boyfriend to disembowel himself
  • Following up each of the above operations with proper medical treatment (except the last one, lol)



Home surgery tutorial[edit]

Check out the cunning product-placement.

Characters[edit]

This movie only has 3 characters: aznJoe, Boyfriend, and Girlfriend. The Boyfriend and Girlfriend are sited in the credits as having japanese names that are impossible to spell or pronounce, thus establishing their character names as "Boyfriend" and "Girlfriend". The director with an impossible-to-read-name (Koji Shiraishi) said in an interview that this was done to send a message in the film that we are often not aware of the sources of our torment. He later went on to say that he got the idea for this particular symbolism by chatting with people on DeviantART.

aznJoe[edit]

aznJoe (aka Josef Heiters azn persuasion) is the tragic hero of the story. Only wanting to share the love of the couple, two cruel and heartless individuals, and not knowing how to express himself. He is assumed to be a surgeon who is extremely wealthy IRL, but little is known outside of his continuously tortured mind. Throughout the movie the couple insist on having all the sex without him which in turn makes him sad and forces him to perform arguably unnecessary surgery to communicate his frustration. aznJoe is by far the most benevolent character in the movie for free medical care. The film concludes tragically with him being mortally wounded, and the two people who he loved so much dying rather than being with him.

The searing internal conflict of the protagonist has led some commentators to dub aznJoe a contemporary Hamlet. Probably because they've never fucking seen or read Hamlet.

Boyfriend & Girlfriend[edit]

An inveterate sadist, the boyfriend insists on not sharing his wimminz with aznJoe, for the purposes of his own amusement. The couple's desire to torture aznJoe is what drove the UK Film Board to erroneously ban the uncensored version.

The Queen does NOT approve[edit]

   
 
Britain is a backward nanny-state controlled by a praetorian guard of supercilious upper-class snobs.
 

 
 

—Koji Shiraishi


   
 
Poppycock.
 

 
 

—The Queen


The British were quick to reject Grolulztesque, displaying their usual lack of imagination and inability to interpret metaphor, and failed see the message of tragedy and loss suffered by aznJoe. Either that or they thought the cover looked a bit icky and didn't bother watching it.

Rather than being upset, Koji Shiraishi smiled saying the films message is portrayed in such a lulzy fashion to troll any foreigners who like to think they are srs bsns. tl;dr: successful troll is successful.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


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