GroupHug

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At any point in time you will stumble across an array of "different" confessions.

GroupHug is a site where faggots can anonymously confess a secret or a wish. It is a true source for internetz hilarity and horror. It was created in 2003 and currently has one book compiled, "Stoned, naked, and looking in my neighbor's window"[1] GroupHug is a fantastic way to waste time and by using the search feature you can find a confession that might be exactly like yours (assuming the visitor is not too fucked up). GroupHug is one of many anonymous confession sites and has earned a reputation for allowing sick fucks to make confessions for a willing internet audience. A goldmine of lolz and drama, GroupHug is an A plus site.

Notable Quotes[edit]

Someone confesses the site freaks them out.

875440183 - I love masturbating to snuff films. Some of my friends have found my videos, but they just think I like watching them.

I want to become a coroner.

674940480 -Sometimes I imagine that I am being raped by characters from Pokemon. I have this recurring dream at night that a group of mudkips find me and Pikachu and force us to give them oral sex. I like mudkips but this dream gets to me and I don’t know who I can tell.

964269885 -every saturday night, my guido friends and I gather for an intense night of cocaine snorting and group sex. We begin our evenings eating pasta and watching good fellas. My dads in the construction business, so he has lots of money to help fund our expensive habit. Most us are just guys so if we want pussy, we usually have to pay for it - another expense paid for by my dad. After watching some snuff films, usually created by my dad, we break out the condoms. Sometimes we "forget" the condoms, but oh well, it doesn't matter too much. Plus i like the idea of my semen flowing inside the cavities of bodies. We oil our bodies up and and pile on top of each other to produce one giant blob of moving, writhing flesh. So after we crash from the coke, we kick the girls out, jack each other off, and pass out until we have to wake up and fill our terribly mindless day trading jobs.

782125466 - My sister is a stripper. I want to beat the shit out of anyone who judges her or bitches about her. She is a better person than all of you bitches combined can ever hope to be. You will never touch us.

251487403 - One time while my brother was sleeping i pooped on his face and said the dog did it. He said that he could see corn in it and that dogs didnt eat corn. I said that we gave the dog the rest of the Thanks giving left overs............ it was june....... He believed me....... sorry bro.

317170792 - When I was in a drunken stupor walking the streets one night I pissed in the shape of a swastika on the side of a synagogue. Sorry jews.

489786680 - This is a very embarassing confession actualy but i'm going to come out of the closet today may.21.2005 what i have to say is weird...i have this strange turtle fetish...i get very arroused when i see small tutrles i just get so turned on i just want to put the turtles down my pants and let there oh so smooth shell rub my penis...i'm not just just horny when i see small tutrles it's much more then that i had a dream of doing kinky things with turles...the dream went like this...it started off in a chamber of some sort and there they were 15 small turtles chained up to the wall they were wearing name tags that were ever so sexy like "daddy" and "bitch" ect. and there i was wearing a leather suit with a whip and i was whiping the turtles and they were making these little snapping sounds i don't know where it came from but i was very arroused by the end of the dream me and the 15 small turtles were in bed and some were on the pillow and some were down there..rubbing my penis...i'm glad i've got that off my back

361121044 - I just wrote a poem. I feel gay.

905110135 - When I was young (around 14), my family had a dog, a collie. It was male and very well hung, so one day I took a kitchen knife and cut off its cock. I disposed of the body and used the severd penis to masturbate with. When my family noticed the dog was missing, everyone assumed it had run away. I pretended to act very sad and I even faked crying. After a few days it started to smell very bad so I had to throw it away, but it felt soooooooo good. 34/f

869285801 - My cousin was a bit slow. I used to make fun of him reguarly and once told him that cats love to get kicked. He loved me so he ran around kicking shit out of his cat for like an hour. When his Mum caught him the cat was a dead, bloody mess and he had blood spattered up both his legs. His Mum decided that he was a danger to his little sister and had him institutionalised. He didn't adjust well to the institution and few months later managed to crack his skull open running into a wall. This caused him to need a steel plate in his head. Due to a pretty major error on the surgeons behalf the plate wasnt put in flush against his skull and a fly managed to get under it and lay it's eggs in their. Over the next few months my cousins motor functions deteriorated and his language skills etc became practically nil. When they sent him for a scan they found that there a multitude of maggots feasting on my cousins brain. He obviously died. I live with the fact that I did this to him every day because I thought it was funny to taunt a spacker. I don't sleep well at night. I sometimes think that I'm the cabin boy on the ship to hell.

438317131 - Chris is so hot sometimes that I lick the drain after he takes a shower...

220603561 - I watched this show about polar bears on "Animal Planet" and I masturbated while watching it and I came about 5 times in the whole hour it was on. I keep having dreams about them. I can't get them off my mind. They're very sexy animals. I just wanna buttfuck one. I want a polar bear to dominate me too. mmmm polar bears.

254687687 - Whenever I see an obese woman I immediately fantasize about making intimate love with her in a forgotten motel room on the west side of Chicago. I’m wearing a wife beater and she has on hiking boots. I imagine beads of sweat dripping off her hairy lip as she whispers, "you’ll always be your fathers son"

934255655 - Im a young attractive 112 lb. girl who plays WoW and Diablo. I also like music such as Tool, The Killers and Bayside. Sound good to you? mushroom871@hotmail

309176784 - On the outside I'm very humble, but inside, I know I rule a lot.

402987481 - It is July 20th 2004, I'm going to kill myself in three days. The world will know about me then.

396565582 - I dissolved three types of poisons into my best friends drink to see what would happen. He's in the hospitol for "consumpsion of water". They have no idea it was me.

426023911 - My friend dissolved three types of poisons into my drink and I was hospitalized for consumption of water, but little does he know I also jizzed in his drink, and saw him drink it. Now he's being hospitalized for "AIDS".

763714190 - the closer it gets to christmas, the more i just want to say screw it, get do lots of speed, have sex with some girl i dont know, then kill her.

The GNAA patented when bot delivers premium on-demand GroupHug content.

645405429 - I like to make babues cry by slowly hurting them. By making them uncomfortable. Like one time, I was getting a ride to school and there was a baby sitting next to me, so I grabbed his hand and started to rub it. I did it for like 7 minutes and the baby made all these painful faces and then started to cry. It made me feel really good.

645634521 - I spy on my boyfriend's internet activity when he's not home. I check who he's searched on myspace, what pictures he's viewed, and if he's looked at any porn. Then usually, I start looking at the porn and search my own and get all horny. Then I feel bad and eat chocolate.

434546463 - I can't look at a black person without the "Nigger" popping into my head. I like black people, so I guess I'm not a full-blown racist, but it still doesn't seem normal. If I pulled up next to a black person at a stop light I'd think "hey look at that nigger driving the car." Not in a mean way, but more so just as an observation. Did I mention I like black people?

604464778 - When I was in middle school, I called up an AIDS hotline and told the woman who answered that I was an abused kid who was kept in a cage by my evil parents. I thought it was tremendously hilarious to hear her cry. I was a vicious little bastard.

682510949 - When I get the chance, which isn't too often, I take pictures of barefoot girls, have them developed, and use them as visual aids when I gratify myself. Almost no one is off limits. I have pictures of my sisters' feet, a cousin's, several friends, etc. Nothing gets me going like beautiful female feet. If I could suck any girls' toes I wanted but could never have sex again, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

530224986 - I have AIDS. Sometimes i have sex with people just to give them AIDS. Im so mean. Have pity on me.

346615054 - i killed a goat with a weed whacker. i feel sick to my stomach when i think about it. it was so bloody... i am sorry.

798109738 - I once 'pleasured myself' whilst watching Sabrina The Teenage, my 4 year old daughter was asleep on the couch beside me. She slept through the entire episode.

141153449 - i have almost murdered several times. i get cold sweats under my jacket and my hand shakes and i run my fingers over my revolver over and over again. i go home and put the gun on the couch next to me and masturbate while looking at it.

My Girfriend likes fresh fruit, but i dont. I took one of her cantiloupes that was in the sun, cut a hole in it and stuck my dong and had sex with it. When I turned around i saw my GF staring at me in horror.

Now I have no GF. The canteloupe is alive and i wonder if it had any feelings about the experience

"I am almost loathe to admit it but I saw a fat girl alone in the park eating a large pizza alone while crying and I'm pretty sure it made me horny. She wasn't like obese yet but had definately crossed the "sloppy fat" line but had a cute face. I wonder if she would lick pudding off of a dogs stomache while crying? That would be hot if I was a bad person."

392621183 - I had sex with a girl who has a line in the Spiderman 2 movie. Everytime she has her line, I want to scream, "I had my dick in that mouth!"

491747352 - MY ALL AMERICAN DAY : i set my alarm on snooze from 12pm til 2pm. i lazily wake up, somehow still tired after at least 10 hours of sleep. i eat breakfast while on the computer, which consists of pizza, burritos, or chicken with soda (or, rarely, milk). i do any errands i have to do that day. if i don't have any errands to run, i sit online or play videogames. i work from 4:30 til 10:30. i slack at the job. i usually sit around and complain with my coworkers about gas prices, salary, and management. after work i floor it home because there's rarely cops on the way home at that time at night. when i get home, i check the messages (which i almost always have none), talk on aim, play grand theft auto, download porn, maturbate, eat dinner (which consists of what breakfast is), and then go to sleep....which usually ends up being around 3am, give or take...... my life is mediocre and boring. the only reason i don't kill myself is because death doesn't interest me any more than life does.

199831164 - alright so this girl was giving me head and then i pointed to the distant right and said, "is that your father" (i lied... there was no one there) and she quickly looked... then i shot her right in the eye with my cream.

894955996 - If you want to be happy for the rest of your life find yourself an ugly, naive girl. I did.

701269945 - Every time someone tells me about their personal life, the song "Don't Care" by Obituary comes on in my head. I can't drown it out and it is very loud. It may be how I feel but makes it really difficult to listen to people

322793189 - There's one night a week - it's the only time i am happy......... my happy spot............ i love to sit in my room and stab my girlfriends cat. My friends call me the cat stabber. But don't think that it's wrong when she asks me to stab it and than feed it with my power drill. I love to listen to her scream!

465770529 - I like fucking pregnant women. If they’re having a boy it ain’t fun, but if they have a girl then it’s two pussies for the price of one.

704151804 - My "friends" and I were playing the "crane game"... That's where you place a tampon in your rectum and, with a loop tied in the end of the string, use it to pick up various items from the floor. I was attempting to pick up a Lava lamp which had a hook glued to the top of it when, I fell backward, shattering the glass and impaling myself upon it. I was in the hospital for a month and needed to surgeries to repair the damage.

985692846 - i have a roomy anus.

758911739 - I...like having sex with random internet strangers. Just the thought of giving them Herpes makes me wet.

574696729 - i was in the middle of math class one day when this cute guy i liked asked me for a pen. I could have died since he finally knew i existed...anyway i started to search through my bag frantically checking every single compartment and then it happened...i felt it in my fingertips. "yes" i thought. i whipped it out and tossed it to him. it was a tampon.

972804110 - I dress up like a magic elf after work at night and my girlfriend dresses up in armour and we have sex.

152043067 - I worked on a farm when I was 16 and one time I had to feed a baby goat with a bottle. After a minute or so I took the bottle out of the goats mouth and put my penis in. It kinda hurt because it would bite down a little as it sucked.. but the feeling of it's tounge and the sucking made me cum pretty hard. I didn't have any experience with girls so it was pretty satisfying.

520445603 - i hate it when they let off Helium filled balloons at events and sports matches, when they burst and fall to the ground/sea they kill the wild life, i hate it so much that the next time i know there is going to be a large amount of helium baloons going to be released im going to use my bow and light it up and shoot it into the baloons, helium is extemely flammable and i hope to burn as mean people nere the baloons as i can , then maybe they wont release these into the sky anymore...

420135613 - When I told my mom I was a lesbian, she was surprisingly cool about it. I pushed things a little until my highschool girlfriend stayed over nights at my house. The next day, my mom would come into my room wearing a big t-shirt and panties and start asking if we ate each other out and if we kissed each other or ground our pussies together. It was like she was getting a little hot asking me about the sex I'd had the night before. Then she gave me a strap on dildo as a gift and told me to invite my girlfriend to spend the night. I swear to god, I think she wants to join in or something and it really freaks me out.

835136230 - I saw a clock spider in my room one day and it freaked me out. I didn't know what to do because it was so friggin' huge, and so i killed it. Now i went to google and crap like that and learned that it's rare. I feel so miserable and every day I want to kill myself more because of it.

952065860 - I was having sex with a rather attractive black girl I had managed to pick up at a club one night, and I've always wanted to sleep with a black girl. So we're going at it and she starts dirty talking a little bit, so I oblige and return the dirty talk. At some point the dirt talk became racial and I called her, among other things, a 'black bitch', and she called me names like 'devil man', 'honkey' and even started saying 'yes massah'. It sounds strange but at the time it was quite erotic. Everything was going great until I called her Aunt Jemima, she stopped and looked at me, there was a moment of silence and then we both started laughing so hard that my stomach hurt. I lost my boner and although we slept together that night, she was gone in the morning and I never got another chance at nailing a black chick. If I ever do I'm keeping my mouth shut.

344025413 - I lost my virgiity to a sock. and its not even the sock i'm going to marry ....does this make me a bad person?

349787842 - I'm not really sure but I think I caught my uncle having sex with a goat. I didn't catch him in the act but during what I think was a post coital activity of pulling his pants up. Maybe his pants just fell down while he was standing behind it, I'm not really sure. All I know is that the thought of this sickens me, but at the same time it kind of turns me on. I'm not attracted to goats, but I do think my uncle is pretty attractive.

731472586 - one time when i was in 8th grade i was visiting my aunt's house. she went out to see friends and i got naked and put her panties on and got out her .38, loaded, and sat it next to me. i was masturbating. she came back into the house. i ran like hell into her bathroom. to this day i'm not sure what she saw, but i'm fairly sure she knew i was jacking off. she didn't care about the gun being out.

393366036 - I truly believe that in a former life I was a ninja in the 14th century and that I have been sent back to overthrow the government of Luxembourg. They will pay for their indescretions.

677232230 - I shot my friend with a pellet gun and he died from a collapsed lung. I told everyone that he shot something and it ricocheted. The next day I kind of took advantage of his sister when she was grieving. And I don't feel bad.

889978744 - i wonce took one of my sister's tampons and tried to put it up my ass but it didn't work so i tried 3 more times... then i gave up and threw them away DEEP in the trash. my other sister got blamed for the missing tampons. it was funny to see her get yelled at because of me. i was i think 11 at the time

862456158 - I'd probably have sex with a bird if I could fit my penis in it

798530453 - I have been receiving fellatio from my 16 year old step daughter since she was 12. We have a sick, terrible relationship based on lies and manipulation. She uses sex to manipulate me for money, Christmas gifts, staying over at friends, etc. My wife probably knows and is in denial. I love God with all my heart, but he will not deliver me from this situation I created. I want to just confess to my wife, but I am afraid I will get deported because I am a foreign national.

435478925 - Once when I was taking a shower, my nose started bleeding for some reason. There was a lot of blood, and it dripped all over me and I rubbed it on me. I loved it how I looked, covered in blood. Then I heard as the doorbell rang. I checked who was coming from the door-eye, and saw it was some old granny who I didn't know. I opened the door and looked as frightening as I could. I was butt naked and covered in blood. She passed out and hit her head. I just called the ambulance and forgot about it. I still don't know what happened to her, in fact, I don't want to know. She might be dead.

855668312 - I never thought this girl on the playground was hot, until I found out she had a hoof. Now I can't stop masturbating. I keep fantasizing about those 2 deformed toes gently massaging my manhood.

297941984 - Im really fat. I weigh 489 pounds and I keep skittles in my bellybutton. I keep them there so when I go up the stairs I can eat a few for energy. And I also throw some up to the top of the stairs for motivation to get there

331053485 - I think of Jared when getting off with my cute pink vibrator

308068042 - i one time took a crap on dish and sliced it up nice and layed the filets nice on the white bread slices and told this kid around the block to eat it. it was about 20 years ago but i still feel good about it, it also was a sunny day around 4.30 pm i think

174547921 - i let my gf toss my salad and i totally farted in her mouth. the bitch dumped me but she should have expected it! HAHAHA!

626599608 - I have a habit of peeing in class, i dont know why but when im in class and i have to go pee pee i just want to do it right there, i dont know whats wrong with me, i mean i dont really piss myself a lot just like a moderate amount... take into consideration that im in college... once i was in calss and i just pised myself and when class was over there was as puddle underneath my seat, everyone was wondering what that dripping noise was coming from... i have never told anyone abuot this and i think i need help. somebody help me!! sometimes i've pissed myself at dinner table : (

786212573 - I hate anime smilies and everytime someone uses one I want to shank them.

729560810 - i put my penis in the ice cream. sorry grandma, but if you don't wear your dentures, we know what you'll eat and we don't like you.

643579830 - when i was 29 years old, i was at my aunt and uncle's house visiting. i needed to use the bathroom really bad, but i had to take a number 2 and i have a fear of using other peoples toilets when taking craps. i don't know why, but i like the homefield advantage. anyways, after holding it for about 2 1/2 hours, i couldn't take it anymore. i went into the bathroom, turned on the water in the sink, and tried to use the toilet but i just couldn't. so i flushed the toilet and pretended i used the can. when i got out, my uncle told me that the hot water heater was acting up and wanted me to go look at it down in the basement. i went down there while my uncle went to the garage to get some tools. while i was down there, i saw the cat box and i thought perfect. so before i could think things out, i proceded to take a crap in the cat box. i barely got my pants up when my uncle came down and noticed the large amount of fecal waste in the catbox. i told him the cat was just down here and left this surprise. he looked at me kinda funny and we fixed the hot water heater. later that night during supper, my aunt mentioned to me that their cat got hit by a car and died.

145897219 - There's a balcony outside my bathroom window. Sometimes I make a white beard out of bubble-bath and stand out on the balcony in my white bathrobe pretending to be Saruman from Lord of the Rings. I almost caused a car accident on the road below once, and laughed my most evil laugh.

697556310 - One time just for kicks i took some candy and glued it to the outside of the windows on the short bus, three people died.

816078451 - One time, a dog started fucking my leg. Then I started to fuck the dog.

386312490 - One time I was in the bathroom. I had a mean hard-on in need of wacking. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any lubricant and had severere cotton mouth from all of the weed I had smoked. My dick was pulsating because I was so horny. So I reached into the toilet, grabbed a turd and used it for lubricant. I had to hold my breath most of the time; however, right as I was cumming, I caught a whiff and it made me puke. The intesity of puking and simultaneously cumming was so great that now I have a new fetish.

630654871 - in grade 10, when we were dissecting a frog, i put my hands inside it's body and pulled out some intestines. i went to the bathroom and rubbed them onto my penis, and tried puttin them in my penile cavity. it wouildnt fit, so i tucked them into my anus, really deep. When i got back to class, someone saw that i stole the intestines, and told the teacher,m they forced me to tell them where i put it and i told them. they got the nurse to get the frog intestines out. everyone knew. i was 15. its been 2 years, and i have no friuends and people hate me and call me fag. i wish i would die.

373029958 - i fanatsize about incest scat. licking my mom's fat shitty ass out. i have three older sisters that i would like to shag and have them shit in my mouth ive 7 year ols sister that i would love to lick her tight asshole out and lick her wet shit stained panties ive licked my mum's and sisters panties and love the taste. my girlfriend even shit for me and says she wants one of my sisters to shit on her while im licking her asshole. and then both of them piss in my mouth am i a pervert?

957963691 - Two years ago a friend and I went on lesbian chatrooms and pretended to be lesbians so that we could seduce them. After we convinced them into coming into a chatroom with just us, we would creat a scenario, and role-play until we were convinced that our lesbian friend had reached orgasm. After that we would reveal that we were actually men, and laugh about it. Alot.

919600776 - I have two phones, and text myself pretending to be my own boyfriend, just to impress my friends because i am ugly and fat, and im going to die a virgin

361227070 - I once had a pet caterpiller. I gave it a name but I didn't want it to become a butterfly so I killed. every year on the same day I have to kill a butterfly now or I know I'll die.

686147967 - I slept with my brothers wife while he was passed out next to us and "finished" all over her face - then I woke him up and said "see, I told you she's a whore - thank me later" They broke up. She killed herself four months later - I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty in any way.

445481079 - i was anally fisting my wife and her butthole ripped. it was bleeding real bad so i freaked out. i was scared of what they would say at the hospital and if police would get involved so i ran away. i left my wife and 2 kids alone in the middle of the night and haven't talked to any of them since. its been almost 6 months.

901637643 - I walked in on my girlfriend giving my dad oral pleasure. i was a little upset about it but i let it slide and we have a sweet realtionship now

72506477 - When I was little I had guniea pigs. I would sit with them on the floor and toss them towards the ceiling. I delighted in hearing them squeal louder than any had ever squealed before. I would do this for hours, meanwhile continuously laughing.

284927337 - One time I had a summer job in high school for a business that outfitted people to go on camping trips out in the wilderness. My boss had a big dog that barked all the time and was really annoying. Food was delivered to this business in bulk. I fed the dog a whole stick of butter every day for about 4 months. The dog had a heart attack in the fall.

504501517 - i like to poop on quarters

899498193 - sometimes i fantasize about my dad having sex with my baby brother. they are both so hot. when my baby brother is sleeping, i like to go into his room and play with his baby balls. Sometimes when he has a poopy dieper, i like to rub it all over hid body n then lick it off. sometimes my dog joins in so i just finger its butthole

963126254 - I'm 16 I live on a farm. I have no friends except for my my six older brothers. I had sex with most of them... And I liked it. I'm pregnet with one of my brothers baby.. and i don't know which one. My parents don't know that i'm even pregnet. I don't know what to do. I feel like killing myself.. but i don't want to kill the baby inside of me.....

499126178 - Today I farted into a jar full of pennies, i closed the lid and then opened it a few minutes later. It smelled like farts and metal....it was awesome. I got really horny from the smell.

662628645 - My neighbour has 8 rabbits

322148504 - i name my variables after ex-girlfriends

446798241 - i used to lay on my back and jizz on my stomach when i jerked off. after a while i could shoot that shit really far and it landed in my eye and burned for 2 days.

637910923 - I stole an girls underwear from her gym bag today lol!

490580333 - i was at this party and met this really hot chick.we went to the bedroom i started eating her pussy and i some green stuf popped out. i asked her what it was and she said it was mold.i freeked out cause thats really disgusting and ran into the hallway and knocked over a guy and he fell down the stairs and he amost died. i feel so bad about it.

160922352 - my dad is a southern baptist minister, and i work in the office. i use the church's high speed internet to download lots and lots of porn. i feel terrible

944311426 - My old girlfriend from college used to fart when ever she felt like it. Even if we were in public, she'd just let one rip and not give a damn. She was kind of a tomboy, but only in her actions.

Anyway, this one time when we were having sex she farted so loud that she pooped on the bed sheets. She was so embarrassed and ending up crying... but the reason why she cried wasn't because she pooped on the sheets, it was because I couldn't stop laughing at her. In fact, I laughed to the point where I started to fart like a machine gun. I couldn't stop myself.

So, in the end, she broke up with me because she felt I wasn't "mature" enough to handle her "mature" farts.

300649630 - i pretend to take my birth control every day in front of my boyfriend.. i hide it under my tongue and take it out when hes not looking. im so blessed to be pregnant - he doesnt know yet.

620271469 - I put my penis in a Goldfish's bowl once.

670201741 - I've been having sex with my 23 year old cousin for about 6 months now...she's just told me she's pregnant and that the baby is mine. both our parents are gonna freak when they find out as she doesn't believe in abortion so she's got to have the baby. I'll stand by her and support the baby but the bad part is I'm worried about the sex with her stopping.

411070908 - I think that my boyfriend has probably ruined me for other guys, if we ever break up. I'm only 15 but I've already decided that I could never be with a guy who wasn't into bondage, or being dominated, or dominating me. I think it'd be really awkward to ask any other guy how he'd feel about getting fucked up the ass, or forcing me to suck his cock. But my man, he knows what I like.

502628252 - When I was in 10th grade I had a class with this fat girl that I didn't like. This girl would always come over to my table and sit on it and try and start a conversation. This pissed me off, so I came up with a plan to stop making her sit on my table. One day during class I unscrewed one of the legs from the table. As she sat down on the table it collapsed. I then said aloud "What a fatass!!". She left crying and didn't come back to school for two weeks. I'm not sorry I did it either.

323804427 - At the age of 16 I did a sponsored walk for charity. I collected the money from friends and family and spent it on cigarettes, drugs and alcohol.

482006699 - My x-girlfriend and I liked to have sex in the no-no whole. About 2 mounths ago I was doing her in the butt on her parents couch. When we were done she couldn't controll her rectum and went #2 on the couch. We cleaned it up but to explain the stain we blamed it on the dog. They had already had some problems with the dog but this was the final straw and they put it to sleep. My girlfriend was so upset that she dumped me.

878953080 - I was trying to join a fraternity, and during pledge hell week one of the brothers forced me to give him a blowjob. He said he would vote me out unless I did it. Now that I'm in the fraternity, he says that unless I blow him every week he's going to tell all the brothers what I did. I'm going to kill him so he won't be able to tell anyone.

282487226 - i say that i really hate humans but if i could, i would have sex with one.

269849042 - I got another confession to make. I'm a fool. Everyone's got their chains to break, holdin' you. I wonder...Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone in west philadelphia, born and raised, in the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool. And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school, When a couple of guys said were up in no good. Started making trouble in my neighbourhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air! I whistled for a cab and when it came near the Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later, Looked at my kingdom I was finally there! To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air! (Quite clever)

145559770 - I fucking hate you you lying bitch -- I hope you drink a big cup of fucking AIDS, and die.

406243199 - i got diagnosed with aids about 4 years ago and i hate fat people. i go to bars everynight and hook up with fat chicks and don't use protection. I think i have probably givin it to over 100 fat girls. last night i met a fat girl at the bar and i actually liked her. i didn't sleep with her.

879559853 - My wife cheats on me with our black neighbor. She thinks I don't know but I talk with the guy. He secretly videotapes and we put it on the internet.

402406891 - The other day I was trying to take a crap in the communal bathroom but it wasn't coming out right away. There was no one else in the room and I preferred not to crap with anyone else in there, so it needed to happen NOW.I was suddenly hit by a weird idea, stuck my thumb in my vagina, hooked it around the bump of the poo below, and pushed the thing out. It struck me as being one of the weirder things I've ever done. But it was highly effective, and I recommend it, if you really need to goin a hurry.

638647682 - I often fantasized about my wife being ravaged by many men who have much larger penises than I do. As they are having their way with her, they make fun of me.

917231242 - when i was about fourteen i had a paper round, and one day when i was delivering my papers an old ugly lady came to her door. i’d always had a fantasy about having sex with someone on my round, so i got my dick out. i think she saw it but pretended not to. i put it away after a bit. i don’t know what i thought i was doing.

873891495 - last halloween, my girlfriend and I dressed up as Papa Smurf and Smurfette. We painted our entire bodies blue, and she wore a platinum blonde wig…when we got home from the party we went to later that night we had the most smurftacular sex before getting out of costume.

441264445 - Sometimes I like to watch japanese porno. Not because I think asian girls are hot (I think they’re kind of plain, really), but mostly because 90% of the asian guys I’ve seen in porno have really small cocks and it makes me feel better about my average sized one.

882591422 - When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me to ease off on the soy sauce, saying that it would darken my skin (She was really just concerned about the sodium). Once, one of my parents’ friends who is black came over to visit. I said to him, “You must eat a lot of soy sauce!”""

352349541 - I ate a green apple today, but I always ate red ones, damn I feel so bad! Like I’ve betrayed the red apples.

894394603 - im afraid of life, i mean im still in high school but the idea of one day have to work, just freak me out, i speak 3 languages,im not such a good student but i guess im ok, i dont know …the idea of survive by myself scares me so bad

473144790 - I wanna bang this 14 year old, and she seems to feel the same way


288472381 - Hey mourners, His name was John, and he was loved by every single one of you. He thought dearly of you Anonymous, spending every second to try and steer you away from what he thought were bad life choices. He thought what he was doing was everything right in the world. Honestly, he was so deeply rooted in his beliefs. I mean, now that he’s gone, so are his insecurities, and at least his soul is at a whole new level. To his family, his loss is the worst thing that could happen. Please, mourners of /b/, don’t be a stranger. Speak up about your favorite memories with John. He is now in perfection, looking down on all. He was captain of the football team, and starter on his basketball team. He knew he was faster and tougher than a lot of people, and wasn’t afraid to say it. He got straight A’s, and had a beautiful girl at his side (he was going to propose next week, shit would have been so cash). You are all welcome to mourn at his casket. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: This is John in Australia; where the passanger seat is on the left, and the cars are down under. In memory, John. You will be missed. - as a side note, brake cutting was added to anons list of mighty powers.

112641172 I masturbate with icecubes and i absolutely love it i love how it feels when it melts on my breasts i love the way it feels when i fuck myself with them even though it starts to get so cold it hurts

534240520 Last Thursday I found out that my father had a 10mm pistol. So as the curious little scamp I am, I took it and waited ‘till midnight. I went outside and went for a walk, I had the gun on me. I went into a forest and started shooting around. I shot a tree, I shot the ground, I shot a rock not to far from me and I just shot in front of me. I heard a moan, so I thought I may have shot an animal of some sort. I went to see what I shot. I didn’t shot an animal, I shot a black person walking through the forest. I ran away, never telling anyone or hearing about it from anyone. Today, I wonder what happened to him.


TL;DR Links[edit]

GroupHug the game[edit]

GroupHug.us has spawned a game using its pages. Directions:

  1. Prima hits the random button on GroupHug and scours the page for the weirdest/lulziest/wtfist definition on the page.
  2. Secunda also hits random page and sees if she can out weird/lol/wtf Prima using only that page.
  3. Prima hits random again and sees if he can top Secunda's ante.
  4. Secunda hits random again and sees that she cannot beat out Prima. The score is now 1-0 Prima and Secunda submits the best entry on her page to begin the next round.
  5. Can be played with 2 or more players. If played with more than 2 then each round is played elimination style until a winner of the point is chosen.
  6. If on IRC in groups: @'s are players still in for the round, +'s are for players sitting out, players who are out for the round have no channel mode.
  7. If an entry is agreed by a majority of players to be fake, it is DQ'd and another entry must be chosen.
  8. One entry per random page, no more no less.
  9. Play continues until players get bored.
  10. Alcohol optional.
  11. ????
  12. PROFIT!

External Links[edit]

  1. Keep My Secret!
  2. Hug Nation haters of Freedom

See Also[edit]

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