Guardian Of Virtue

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Dearlightdragon + Dani Faulk = Virtue

Me So Angry[edit]

Guardian_Of_Virtue is yet another in a long line of Yahoo Chat "Paganism:1 Parasites". Some have even heard rumors that she is the love child of one Dearlight Dragon, and one Dani Faulk.

Truth be told, she is a young, nubile whelping of an indiscriminate sexual encounter on the misty freight docks of urban Japan.

Her mother is Japanese, reportedly a rebuked and reviled former Geisha. Whom after masturbating with her hairpiece during an important performance, was stripped of her name and forced to become petty gutter trash.

Her father in absentia was an American transient, most likely AWOL from some Naval vessel. In a drunken, urine stained stupor had stumbled upon a ragtag love gash just waiting to hum "Anchors Away" while being banged against a filthy men's room stall.

Virtue is a bitter girl, trapped in the unforgiving social void known as "Japanese/American". She spends most of her free time in Paganism:1 throwing bitter epithets and anecdotal nonsense at random regulars, in some inane attempt at soothing her anger at being such a shallow twat.

Another of her wonderful downfalls is her complete obsession with her physical beauty, and what she mistakenly refers to as "Superior Intellect". She shuns all things that are not Japanese, as is evidenced by her apparent self hatred.

The recent excerpt was taken from an anon submitter's Paganism:1 logs -

Random Chatter> Im only half-white though, so you can't totally hate me.
Guardian_of_Virtue> Be sure to tell me which half, so I know where to stab you repeatedly.

Note how she automatically reverts to violence when her minuscule brain over-heats at the mention of anything non-Japanese? As sad as it may seem, this pales in comparison to when anyone even hints that they know more than her on ANY subject.

Once more, I leave you with a sad but true example -

Random Chatter> I wish I could be a porn star. It looks so easy when you think about it. All
you have to do is sit there and fuck or be fucked while moaning like you're looking at your car
insurance bill.
Guardian_of_Virtue> Once more you have NO idea what you're talking about you idiotic, 
home-sick, failed abortion. Its very difficult to be a porn star, I should know. You have 
to go to special classes, and the teachers are large hairy men AND women who 
shove things into every slot in your body untill you are nearly at bursting point. 
Don't even get me starting on the moaning exercises..

Virtue, The Pagan Princess Of Porn ?[edit]

Virt2.jpg

(Guardian_of_Virtue, adorably clueless or dumber than an alley skank?)

Virtue...or more commonly known as "Virt" aspires to be a porn star. which is not surprising, since she comes from a land where you are more likely to get used panties from a vending machine than any actual food or beverages.

Mickyd.jpg

In a lapse of personal weakness, or perhaps just lack of sanity, she decided to take it upon herself to create an internet porn site. Perhaps she had grown tired of coming home and smelling like animal feces and onion rings.

While planning for this great venture of hers, "Virt" decided to lay upon us, her master plan. Which consists of charging the great populace of the internet to view short, low quality, videos of her and the "boyfriend" fornicating in front of her web-cam.

If you have already vomited on your keyboard while reading this article, don't bother cleaning it just yet..there is more. In a fit of pure brilliance and vanity she has decided to also include a library of herself made up in many whore-iffic ways, and "dancing" to awful and random music. Examples of such feats of mediocrity and bowl-irritating terror can be found on her MySpace page here.The skank tank. (Note: This link is now "no longer valid or the user has deleted their account". Looks like the skeeze couldn't handle the "fame" so selflessly graced upon her by the fine, giving folk of ED)

Ladies and gentlemen of ED, what you have seen here today rivals such internet horrors as the infamous tubgirl and even goatse himself. Guardian of Virtue is a degenerate in the truest sense and is to be avoided at all costs. Even speaking her name in other open forums invites her and squad of fan-fic-writing, lord-of-the-rings-quoting, furry-porn-watching,side-show horrors that accompany her nearly everywhere she treads.

In closing I ask that you review and adhere to the list below-

Ways to avoid a "Virtue" encounter[edit]

1.) Avoid Paganim:1 on yahoo completely. She is a stain on the place like the smells in a cheap motel mattress.

2.) If you do in fact have a run in with her, be sure engage the "Bobble Head" technique. (IE: Just keep nodding your head, opting to add nothing more to the conversation. If she has no one to argue with, she usually retreats back to her cave to dine on microwavable cuisine she recently "cooked".)

3.) Link any site having to do with Cam-Girls. Trust me on this one, she will clam up right away, making her way out on the web like a vicious sludge. Trailing across and absorbing any and all "good" ideas and claiming them as her own.

Under NO circumstance should you argue or attempt to fight back when she says something to you. It is pointless and a waste of breath, which is putting it lightly. One of the best ways to show your love for our friend "Virt" is to just click the ignore button as quickly and as hard as you can and hope that she one day asphixiates on her own beautiful hair while she sleeps.

Please be sure to direct any and all to this page that have had ANY contact with her, as they deserve to know the truth.