Guild Wars 2

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Merge-arrows.gif It has been suggested that this article should be merged with Guild Wars. To find out moar, spam the goddamn talk page.

Known as Guild Wars Electric Boogaloo as nobody wanted this shitty game released except the piss-poor WoW haters, who secretly wish they were playing that abomination instead, but their parents can't afford to buy it for them, so this is their only contact with the outside world.

NCSoft[edit]

NCSoft, NiggerCocksrSoft, is the parent company of ArenaNet, responsible for the death of World of Warcraft lol no still not as successful as that shit.

How It Started.[edit]

Your typical GW2 fan.
Your typical GW2 fan

Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, ArenaNet announced the sequel to the instant hit game Guild Wars. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on YouTube. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the CGI animation of epic proportions, You and your friends decided to give it a try and then never return to the shitfest.

You've played your fair share of MMO's in the past, but if one thing's for sure - once you go Guild Wars 2, you've got even less of a chance than Red Shirt Guy at getting laid.

GW2 is a unique, family-friendly MMORPG. It offers no levelling challenges, quests no longer exist and you have to pay for this shit.

Classes[edit]

Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as nigger traits

Known Professions:

  • Necromancer- A combination of theft from Diablo 2's necromancer and WoW's warlock.
  • Elementalist - Standard run-of-the-mill mage, with no distinction from any other role-playing game.
  • Guardian - A homosexual Paladin from WoW, played by fat virgins who want to "guard", or "protect" internet girls.
  • Ranger - The same as a hunter in WoW. Even has a stupid pet.
  • Thief - Exactly the same as the rogue in WoW.
  • Warrior - The same as warriors in every other RPG ever made, except this class can't use melee, since melee is terrible in Guild Wars 2, so you run around shooting shit with a rifle as a Warrior.
  • Mesmer - A whore with the ability to disappear, much like the sales of this shitty WoW clone.



Sylvari

Your typical GW2 fan.
Before & After

Demographic: Scene/Emo/Hipster/Plant-People

The camwhore class. These native plant elves were actually based on a transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to [fags|blood elves]] in WoW.


Norn

Demographic: Anders B. Breivik

The family-friendly norwegian vrykul race. Fun Fact: The guild wars theme song is actually the Norn's main theme.

The norn, being this scary are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.


Asura

Demographic: Unemployed, 25-35 years old.


The elite gamers class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the race as a whole proves to be the badass gnome equivalent.

Charr

Demographic: Atheists, Furfags, You

A race of giant anthrpomorphized cat things, 'nuff said.

IGN's best looking game of 2012[edit]

Almost as good looking as Final Fantasy.. 6
Groundbreaking graphics. Except the ground which looks unconvincing like all hell.
Since NCsoft couldn't develop a good looking game they decided that they would pay off the retards at IGN so that they would make it the best looking game of 2012. GW2 fags try to defend this shit, despite the gaming actually sporting worse textures than WoW and generally just looking like vomit. The character models are so poorly done that even the original Quake is laughing.
Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics2.jpg

Compare the face models and the ground textures, and the shit-ugly WoW is still victor

Guild Wars 2 Shit Graphics3.jpg

Wow so edgy. Looks almost like a bad-looking PS1 game

References[edit]

[1] - Bulbasaur 3D Design
[2] - ArenaNet Blog
[3] - IGNEntertainment Commando Spoof
[4] - Discussion thread under off-topic / videogames
[5] - Official site IGN winner