Hacking Team (also known as Hacked Team, Fucking Team, Fucked Team, Failing Team, Failed Team, Faggot Team or Mussolini 2: Reloaded S. r. l) is a shitty computer "security" company that, like HBGary Federal, bills itself as the national guard of the internets. They basically sell their own fake and gay version of SubSeven called Galileo RCS, which is supposedly used to cyberstalk criminals and terrorists, but it was found out that its main use was to stalk and harass journalists. HT is 100 per cent Italy-based which means that most of its staff and engineers are anti-Semitic and racist against black people and support Adolf Hitler for president. Last Thursday HT got 400 gigabytes of their internal data leaked by Phineas Fisher, and holy fucking shit was this leak an epic win.
- 1 Birth of Snake Oil Salesmen
- 2 Hacking Team Theme Song
- 3 Fucking Team Gains Momentum
- 4 CitizenLab Investigates
- 5 Drama with Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai
- 6 From Fucking Team to Fucked Team?
- 7 Well Thank You Captain Obvious
- 8 A PSA from Encyclopedia Dramatica
- 9 ZOMG DAVID VINCENZETTI USED TO BE A CRYPTOFAG
- 10 David Vincenzetti: L. Ron Hubbard Wannabe
- 11 2016: A New Year For Failing Team
- 11.1 The Italian Morons Are Back!
- 11.2 The Italian Morons Think We Care About Their Opinion
- 11.3 The Italian Morons Are Starting To Lose Business
- 11.4 The Italian Morons Lose Their Export Licence
- 11.5 The Italian Morons Get Humiliated By Phineas Fisher Again
- 11.6 The Italian Morons Try To Crack Tor Again...
- 12 VincenzettiSpeak™
- 13 How to Troll David Vincenzetti
- 14 In mancanza Galleria Fail del team
- 15 Hacking Team's D0x
- 16 See Also
- 17 HT Linkz
Birth of Snake Oil Salesmen
So basically these two Italian retards called Alberto Ornaghi and Marco Valleri wrote a network sniffer and the Italian cops were impressed by it (because Italians, like aspies, in general are so retarded and have such low standards that they'll be impressed by anything). Italian cops asked Ornaghi and Valleri to extend their sniffer to also record Skype calls and lo and behold, the rat bastard "security" company known as Hacking Team was born. God help us all.
Hacking Team Theme Song
Fucking Team Gains Momentum
Shit for brains and all-in-all failure of a human being David Vincenzetti became the CEO of HT and begins promoting the hell out of it. He came up with the "brilliant" idea of a ub3r-l33t hacking kit called Galileo RCS that he could sell to governments that are too stupid to download Metasploit for free. David, being the shameless self-promoting piece of shit that he is, pays The Telegraph $5 to write a fluff piece ( ) about his dumbass hacking kit. Apparently, RCS "could prove deadlier than any missile" and "[it's] so powerful it could bring a country to its knees". The article also mentions that David is "a law-abiding businessman", that he "isn’t your typical arms dealer" and that "he follows strict ethical guidelines". Uh, David, paying The Telegraph to suck your dick isn't exactly following strict ethical guidelines. Oh, and hijacking IP address ranges that you don't own isn't really the behavior of a law-abiding businessman. Also, plagiarizing other programmers code isn't really helping your case for following strict ethical guidelines. Yeah, this "article", if you even want to call it that, is more than enough proof that David Vincenzetti is the Italian version of Brett Keane.
In October 2012, the hipster hackers over at CitizenLab finally realize that Fucking Team is trying to rip-off Masters of Deception and CitizenLab simply ain't gonna have it. So they began tracking Fucking Team's shitty spyware and published their findings here. Fucking Team claims that RCS is "untraceable" when ex-filtrating data on your computer back to the pigs. HT says that their 7 proxies makes this possible, but as CitizenLab has demonstrated, this is complete bullshit and lusers of RCS should sue Fucking Team to the stone age for false advertising.
—Hope you got good lawyers David :)
CitizenLab also found out that the software might be used by oppressive regimes such as Sudan, Uzbekistan, and Saudi Arabia. Analysts over at ED also have some evidence that they might be selling to North Korea and even ISIS. Dickhead David's "strict ethical guidelines" aren't really that ethical after all.
—CitizenLab pwning HT
Drama with Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai
While CitizenLab did a pretty decent job of making Fucking Team look like complete twats, the real lulz came from Motherboard VICE writer Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai who has been documenting their bullshit since March 2015. Lorenzo began with this article documenting how Fucking Team customer Ethiopia was abusing RCS to spy on journalists. However, shit started to get srs when he posted another article talking about how Fucking Team's spyware was probably being abused by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency to spy on random people suspected to be junkies. This article was probably enough to provoke our hero (who previously ass-raped Gamma Group) to go out and fuck up Fucking Team. A couple of months later, Fucking Team proposed a method of "De-anonymizing" the Tor network. Knowing that pretty much every claim that came out of Fucking Team's mouth was going to end in an epic fail, Lorenzo decided to write about it. It was here that everyone's favorite Jenny McDermott wannabe, David Vincenzetti, decided to respond:
—Ohh can you feel David's butthurt
From Fucking Team to Fucked Team?
David Vincenzetti was acting like such a complete douchebag to the point that it could not be tolerated anymore. decided that enough was enough and that it was about time someone gave Fucking Team an ass-fucking of their own. So using his/her (wouldn't it be funny if Phineas Fisher was a girl?) ub3r-l33t ski11z, Phineas pretty much destroyed Fucked Team by dumping 400 gigabytes of their internal data onto the interwebz. Phineas was able to root Fucked Team by exploiting a zero-day vulnerability in one of their routers. Then, thanks to the incompetence of Christian Pozzi (one of Fucked Teams sysadmins) and the fact that Fucked Team could not be bothered to patch their software, Phineas was able to get access to all of their emails, infrastructure documentation, software, source code, and even pirated books on music.
Taking The Piss out of Christian Pozzi
And how could this article be complete if we didn't shame and humiliate Chris-chan's botched clone Christian Pozzi? Yes, the man who used the genius password of "P4ssword", this alone is enough to laugh Pozzi out of the entire InfoSec community for good, and the only people who would take this faggot retard seriously is Fucked Team and VinCUNTzetti. But hey, you're encouraged to check out the Pozzi gallery of fail.
And Now The Moment You've Been Waiting For...
Failing Team Fails at Damage Control
Minutes after the leak, Fucked Team tried to stop the awesomeness that is the Internet Hate Machine. Noobvid Vinfailzetti did everything in his power, such as launching DDoS attacks and sending death threats. The DDoS was traced back to Italy and Dickvid's death threats were easily sniffed out.
Well Thank You Captain Obvious
It turns out that the leaked Fucked Team emails prove without a shadow of a doubt that they were selling their bullshit surveillance tools to oppressive regimes like the ones mentioned above.
Lusers of Galileo RCS
A PSA from Encyclopedia Dramatica
David Vinconzetti and Ripoff Team did _NOT_ invent the techniques found within their shitty spyware kit "Galileo RCS". Just like how Johnny Test ripped off Dexter's Lab, Ripoff Team has pretty much been ripping off tools from real hackers. They even plagiarize other programmers code. So the security experts over at ED will be providing governments and independent researchers with this alternative DIY kit:
|RCS component||Free Alternative||Who really invented it?|
|Software Implant||Zeus Jynx2||Greg Hoglund|
|Intelligence Module||Maltego||Walter Harper and Douglas Harris|
|Tactical Network Injector||Arpspoof||Leslie Lamport|
|QR Code Hacking||qrhacker.com||th3j35t3r|
|Injection Proxy||Squid Proxy||William R. Cheswick|
|Zero-Day Exploits||Metasploit 1337day||Aleph One|
|Hacking Team Consultancy||HackForums||Jesse Labrocca|
—Yeah David and the truth is that you're a scam artist.
ZOMG DAVID VINCENZETTI USED TO BE A CRYPTOFAG
Back in the 90's when disco was still cool, David Vincenzetti was on the side of the good guys. Apparently David wasn't really much of a dickhead as he is today and did some pretty cool stuff like writing encryption software and giving hardcore security advices. But David let greed corrupt his penis and the Alzheimers spread to his brain. When you combine this with the fact that Julian Assange was getting laid faster than he could say "Julie, can't you share some of your gf's with me??!!", this is what enable David to turn to the dark side and begin building hacking tools for the pigs. It's at the point that even sex with Michelle Phan wont save poor David now.
David Vincenzetti: L. Ron Hubbard Wannabe
David really shouldn't be calling his competitors "wannabes" since he has been trying to copy Scientology ever since Phineas Fisher humiliated him. After listening to the Blame Canada song from the South Park Movie, Gayvid decided to blame six of his former employees for the leaks. And like any good cult leader, he hired private investigators to stalk said employees. Now, the levels of idiocy and fail are just off the charts. David's stupidity knows no bounds and it's at the point that even Justin Bieber and Shane Dawson looks like Einstein and Richard Feynman compared to this mentally challenged lobotomized baboon. David also might be a schizo aspie, as he believes that one of his former employees, Alberto Pelliccione left the company to develop his own company to troll his shitty company. His evidence? What evidence? Fucking Team is a cult, remember? And like any cult, empirical proof is widely frowned upon.
—Yeah but how will David get the money if he doesn't sell to those countries?
2016: A New Year For Failing Team
Fucked Team's endless stream of failure and stupidity is the gift that never stops giving. Gayvid Vincenzetti managed to hire staff that made his "company" look even worse than ever before. And what better way to start the year with a malware analyst shitting on their spyware!.
(oh and by the way, to access that endless stream, Click Here)
The Italian Morons Are Back!
The ONLY reason that their OS X RCS had a 0/54 detection rate was because antiviruses in general is a piece of shit. But as our friend fG! was able to prove, a two-year old could have reversed this pathetic excuse of a piece of spyware and that Fucked Team were still the same crap morons since July 2015. Unfortunately, government agencies are still too stupid to actually fork over one million euro for RCS when they can just download the **FREE** Metasploit Framework which does the SAME FUCKING THING!!!1. Also, Fucked Team lied about their replacement RCS as they're still using the same codebase that was leaked.
The Italian Morons Think We Care About Their Opinion
—Eric Rabe fails at understanding 3rd grade social studies
The Italian Morons Are Starting To Lose Business
Okay, maybe there's some shred of hope for humanity after all. Fucked Team tried to sell their shit spyware to a South African country and ended up not making a sale due to a crappy presentation.
—Well what do you expect? It's Fucked Team after all.
Like Brett Keane and his fanbase, Fucked Team wont go away. They appear to be vampires that feast on the blood of idiots willing to fork over one million euro for their garbage products and they wont die without a fight.
—David Vincuntzetti tries to scam people.
The Italian Morons Lose Their Export Licence
The Italian Morons Get Humiliated By Phineas Fisher Again
—If failure was made out of strawberries, we would be drinking a lot of smoothies right now.
Also note how Mr. Vincenzetti assumes that Phineas Fisher is a man (Vincenzetti uses "he" in the response). This proves Vincenzetti to be a sexist pig and an over-privileged white cis gendered man who exploits his privilege to physically and sexually abuse women. I hope your happy with yourself David. Please show Vincenzetti's shit article to the nearest feminist in the room and ask him/her what s/he thinks.
The Italian Morons Try To Crack Tor Again...
....and they couldn't have failed any harder. David Vinwannabezetti once again pays a "news" organization ( ) to pimp up his company and bullshit products that even your mom can outsmart. This time, Vincopyzetti decides to rip off Sam DeFabbia-Kane's (who hails from Wesleyan University) undergrad thesis on correlation analysis to determine users of the Tor network. Of course, Vinripoffzetti's cheap knock-off won't be as good as the original, and therefore he has to pay "news" outlets to shit out an "article" that will peddle it to unsuspecting morons.
—Okay, David is BY NO MEANS a mogul
—My Little David, Plagiarism Is Magic
It's really easy to avoid Vinscamzetti's horseshit analysis program.
Step 1: Update Tor
Step 2: There is no Step 2
David has something to say to you:
Ciao bella gente. Sai, queste società di informazione sono odiare su mia azienda solo perché rendono più facile per i governi oppressivi per perseguitare persone innocenti e più facile per gli artisti pick-up per inseguire le donne casuali. Questa vergine, Phineas Fisher (che tra l'altro non potrà mai fare sesso in vita sua), aveva appena a rovinare tutto. La mia azienda è stata solo facendo un sacco di soldi e Phineas violato la mia azienda e trapelato tutte le mie email a internet. Ma ciò che la gente non sa è che io sono il numero uno al mondo degli hacker. Vendo il più avanzato di hacking toolkit nel mercato nero. Ho tutti l'uomo signore, perché non solo io sono un hacker superstar, io sono anche un ragazzo superstar di karate cintura nera e la ginnastica. Phineas è solo gelatina che ho più figa di lui. Quello che ancora mi sconcerta è che le persone sono così dio-dannati ignorante in questi giorni. Perché non può la gente semplicemente rendersi conto che abbiamo bisogno di passare ad uno stato fascista. Voglio dire, non sei d'accordo con me quando dico che Mussolni era il più grande polician mai creato dal creatore. Non vuoi vivere in una nazione in cui si ottiene gettato in prigione per avere un'opinione diversa dalla media? Una nazione in cui è possibile cagna-schiaffeggiare tua moglie e non ha in galera per la cosiddetta "violenza domestica". Una nazione in cui i servizi pubblici piccoli come "educazione" e "assistenza sanitaria" sono sostituiti con survellience di massa e una polizia segreta. Una nazione dove il governo sa tutto quello che state pensando e se anche solo pensare la cosa sbagliata, ti verrà eseguito. Una nazione dove essere un non-eterosessuale otterrà il culo caramelle gettato nella grande casa. Io sogno di vivere in un paese come questo. Hitler ... err ... voglio dire Mussolni ... err ... voglio dire Dio benedica l'America.
boia chi vende RCS
Where David will most likely be working at when Faggot Team goes out of business:
How to Troll David Vincenzetti
- Inform his potential customers that they can just download Metasploit for free.
- Show his potential customers Fucking Team's ED page.
- Show him his company's ED page.
- Remind him of his weight problems.
- Remind him to drive safely.
- When serving him food, purposely make him wait long for it.
- Tell him that VenomFangX has a higher IQ than he does.
- Tell him that FinFisher was there first and that Galileo RCS is a ripoff of FinSpy.
- Tell him that his cooking sucks.
- Tell him that Italy sucks at soccer and will lose to Germany.
- Tell him that burning one million euro is a better investment than RCS.
- Tell him that he's the retarded offspring of Brett Keane and Michelle Malkin.
- Tell him that he's a charlatan.
- Ask him if he routinely has sex with Simonetta Gallucci and Onision.
- Ask him to help you setup your RCS C&C server.
- Ask him if he still masturbates to Julian Assange.
- Ask him if he still has aspirations of being a gymnastics star / musician.
- Ask him if he's gay.
- Ask him to suck your dick. He might do it for the right price.
In mancanza Galleria Fail del team
Hacking Team's D0x
Now David, before you get your panties in a bunch, this d0x is found within YOUR OWN FUCKING WEBSITE so it's all good in the hood.
HT S.r.l. | Via della Moscova 13, 20121 Milano, Italy
Ph. +39 02 29060603 Fax +39 02 63118946
- HBGary Federal
- Kevin Mitnick
- Brett Keane - David Vinconzetti's American Counterpart
- Jenny McDermott - David Vinwannabeayetti is copying Jenny McDermott.
- AnimatedJames - Hacking Team regular
- Benthelooney - Another Hacking Team regular
- MysteriousMrEnter - Another Hacking Team regular
- Aspergers Syndrome
- Fucking Team's Shit-Site
- Fucking Team's Email Spool
- Fucking Team's arch nemesis
- Proof David Vincenzetti hates Jews (he doesn't like Bruce Schneier)
- Fucking Team's new double-ended dildo
- Fucking Team's gift to skids worldwide
- David Vincenzetti getting a boner for Camille Paglia
- David hates Obama (because David hates black people)
- Are Fucking Team Staff Cloppers?
- David Vincenzetti doesn't understand irony
- RCS Sekret Sauce
- Hacking Team 400gb Dump /b/ackup
- EDiots begin busting Fucking Team's chops
Hacking Team is part of a series on Security Faggots
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