Hangover symptoms include:
- Extreme weight loss
- Using it as an excuse to take a day off work, and then coming back the next day bragging about "how wasted you got" that night.
- Waking to find you are surrounded by alcohol bottles, with no memory other than consuming atleast two of them.
- Waking up to find that you remember the first 40-80 minutes of the night, the following memory consists of flashes of some crotch-rot woman humping your crotch and then deciding that oral sex at a bar is a perfectly acceptable way to gain a boyfriend.
- Waking up to find a seriously ugly woman who you'd mistake for a man in your bed, then realising that she is actually a woman. That ugly deserves external observation.
- Waking up with severe butthurt
- Then realizing that you're in bed with another man
- Finding out that he's a babyfur
- Looking at the redial list on your phone and realising that last night you drunkenly rang your ex-girlfriend, your boss, and that cousin you've got the hots for.
Witnessing a hangover is a horrible sight, usually involving groups of senior citizens clumped together in a shitty bar soaked in pools of vomit and urine. A hangover is basically nature's way of telling you that you shouldn't drink so much however, due to the fact that old people are so violently fucktarded, the message never gets across and so the cycle repeats itself.
Fags who cannot tolerate other drugs may be advised to fall back on a porkroll, egg and cheese (popular with Jersey guidos). A cup of boiling hot coffee, dumped on the genitals, will also serve to restore some semblance of function. Britfags generally swear by the "full english breakfast" (eggs, bacons, sausage, mushrooms, baked beans, tomatoes (tinned AND fried), black pudding (pigs blood), fried and toasted bread, followed by moar Gin and Stella Artois.
A final solution may be found in "Stacker Coffee," a mysterious elixir who's recipe was discovered at least 100 years ago. This can be made by emptying the contents of 2 or 3 Stacker 2 diet pills into the coffee grinds before brewing. Note that Stacker 3, due to severe pussification, no longer contains the ephedra to mediate the proper effect, which will be sweaty palms, shifty eyes, nervous breakdown and psychosis.