Hockey Scores

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It all started innocently enough. The Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC), the major lol, only television network in Canada decided to hold a contest to replace the theme song for its most popular and longest running show, Hockey Night in Canada. In the rest of the world, this is definitely shit nobody cares about, but in Canada, hockey is definitely serious fucking business, much like football is in the United States. It would be the same as if "Rock and Roll Part II" was somehow replaced.

This prompted a lot of angry BAWWWWWING from hockey fans. However, what the CBC could not have realized was that by allowing everyday fucktards to submit their own 30 second entries and by allowing voting on the internet, they were releasing a perfect lol storm that would become Hockey Scores.

A National Pasttime is trolled[edit]

A 19 year old aspie goon from Aurora, Ontario named Logan Aube was inspired to write his own submission that he called Hockey Scores composed entirely of percussion, cats, sheep, babies and gunshots. The original submission, and how it would look on the broadcast itself is here. In addition, Logan also made an incredibly win jewtube using animooted MSPaint, complete with flaming GOD BLESS HOCKY:

Word spread like the flames licking the side of "HOCKY" and it wasn't long before the Logan spread the word to his fellow goons at Something Awful who decided to take action, registering accounts at cbc.ca and upvoting Hockey Scores online, and spreading the word to the other corners of the internet. Before long, Hockey Scores of this date is the highest rated submission in the contest with over 30,0000 50,0000 votes and an average rating of 4 out of 5 stars. The goons also started to spam YouTube with remixes of hockey scores.


The phenomenon continued to spread. It was given a link on Torontoist and a Facebook support group was started here. Finally, yahoo sports decided to interview Logan to ask him the inspiration for Hockey Scores. According to Logan:

YES
   
 
My love for hockey is reflected quite well in this piece I feel. The intense percussion symbolizes the hard-hitting excitement of the sport, while the cat samples are used to demonstrate the feline qualities players must possess: speed, cunning, agility, and fearlessness. The other animal noises reflect the rich domestic history of the sport; I remember my grandfather who grew up on a farm used to freeze a rink in their field every year so that they could play the game, while the animals watched on. The happy child was used to symbolize the child-like wonder many Canadians feel every time they turn on this great game. The climax of the piece brings it all together, bringing the excitement to its peak and then finishing it off with a buzzer. Goal!
 

 
 

—Logan Aube

The CBC responds[edit]

The CBC has removed Hockey Scores on two separate occasions from the contest. In response, Logan made another video on youtube, this time with sadder babies.

The CBC then put the video back up and issued a written apology to Logan. They decided to apologize even more while making a interesting human interest story about that ca-rayzy internet by featuring Logan in a nightly news feature about the contest.

Despite holding the contest to begin with, the CBC was smart enough not to promise to use the overall top vote getter online. According to the CBC, "Until Semi-Finalists are revealed on October 4, 2008, 'ratings,' 'recommendations,' 'most viewed,' and other similar information will be available on the website, but will only be a factor for the Producer and Judges to consider in selecting Semi-Finalists." This means that all the efforts of neckbeards will ultimately go for naught. But the internet will have made its point that it is not to be trifled with, and that if you want to replace a theme, you have to be prepared to face trolls who will make a mockery of the process.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Hockey Scores at the Toronto Globe and Mail

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