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EDiots are SEAKING the next sock of Hogging.
Hogging, a sport that pre-dates the birth of Christ, is a visceral activity that is noted for the participants' athletic ability and prowess. Originally practiced by Solaris and the Greeks, the objective of hogging is to copulate with the most pounds in a single sexual encounter. In other words, the fattest fuck wins.
The game begins in a bar or tavern with a group of friends. The friends then recreationally consume alcohol. The alcohol, as we will later learn, will also aid in the physical act, as a sober being could not fuck any of these animals. Each person accrues a large bar tab, and at this point they begin to scour the bar for the potential hogs. The men then begin to flirt with the hogs, and the man who lands the fattest hog has his bartab paid for by the losers. In hogging, however, everyone is a loser; in many instances the encounter is webcammed, and the video is subsequently sent to a site that markets fat porn. The web cams, when viewed the next day, cause the hoggist to undergo hog-shock syndrome, in which they experience acute depression and regret for their actions. The only way to cure hog shock syndrome is to hog again, perpetuating a system known as the Hog-cycle.
The hog-cycle has four stages. Guilt, disgust, addiction, and hilarity. While the first three stages fall in no particular order, hilarity usually accompanies all stages. Eventually the hoggist begins to become desensitized and he feels no guilt for his actions, which allow for even more hogging. It can be noted that hogging is an addictive activity and it is difficult to break the hog-cycle. A hoggist must keep his family and social circles in the dark about what he is doing, because they would undoubtedly want to join in, ruining the novelty of the sport.
Although the hoggist will occasionally suffer trauma, the hog does not suffer emotionally because fat women are unattractive and do not have feelings. Once a hog is used up, it is discarded. This may seem harsh, but keep in mind that in order for a hoggist to compete at maximum performance, he must practice on fresh, vibrant hogs. This becomes a problem as bars in the area generally only have a set limit of fatties. Once hog depletion occurs, the participants must move on to a different region or county, until the fresh hog supply returns to normal levels. The tenants of hogging modeled this idea after slash and burn cultivation practiced by early man.
The minimum weight for a hog is 190 pounds. Any less, taking into consideration height and width, is considered an infraction and the hoggist is suspended for a season. There is technically not a set limit for weight, but fucking the wheelchair bound is frowned upon by hoggists and bartenders alike. The hunt has to have some challenge, and standards must be set. Over 40,000 Americans hog on a regular basis; experts estimate internationally, as many as four fold that number. Hogging has built a massive internet following, with dedicated support primarily among pumpers.
The second priority of the hoggist is to look after the well being of the hog (relax, I'm kidding). One should wine and dine the hog, unless he has already bought her a drink or after sex, in which case he can discard her like the condom he used. DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO YOUR HOG. It is sometimes difficult as they pretend to be kind and misunderstood. This is an evolutionary defense mechanism known as "Pity Sex". Do not confuse hogging with pity sex as there is nothing sexual about hogging (you'll see what I mean).
In recent years, hogging has become unpopular among many women and hogs as they feel it is a gross violation of human dignity and it portrays hogs, quite correctly, as being valueless objects. Nothing could be closer to the truth. In fact, many hoggists will announce to the hogs after sex that they unwittingly participated in an age old ritual. This plan sometimes backfires.
The golden rule of hogging is: quantity not quality! Think of your hogging as a competition for pounds and great sex Here are some tips for optimum hogging:
- Bring a tube of lube! Like I said, fat women are fucking crazy and will let you jam your phallus into any opening on their morphed bodies. If you have issues with lube, bring food as hogs will often percolate at the sight of it.
- Don't group hog. This is a disgusting practice and it will make you lose respect for your fellow hoggist
- Do not look at the hog when you are speaking to her, as this will give her the wrong idea; better yet, do not speak to the hog at all unless ordering sexual favors
- Under no circumstances should you ever give a hog your real name. It would be preferable if you did not fuck at your apartment, instead fucking her inside a public restroom or isolated park.
- Web camming is ill advised, but if you must, be sure to erase any self-incriminating evidence before sending the video to the reputable site fatfucksters
By remembering these simple tips, you can have an optimal and productive hogging session. Good hunting!
these two hogs congregate on benches after being discarded. It is common for them to experiment with lesbianism after such an event.
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