Hollie Greig is a downy Scot who was allegedly raped by everyone. The jury is still out whether she is the victim of the most unnecessarily elaborate cover-up in history, an attention whore, or if she did it for the lulz.
But in the year 2000, everything changed. Apparently, Hollie was not pleased with her life and upon reaching the age of 20, she suddenly had a revelation and revealed to her mother that for the past fourteen years, her dear daddy had teamed up with her brother to sexually abuse her. It also turned out that when Denis got tired of banging his fat, Downs-ridden daughter, he would turn upon Greg and repeat the process on him.
Anne promptly called the police, and THAT was when the fun began.
Hollie has another revelation
Months later, Hollie began to remember more people who had done things to her. It soon became apparent that one of two things had been taking place for nearly a decade and a half unnoticed:
- . Denis Mackie had taken his daughter to every pedophile he knew and offered her up for free secks. "Offenders" include Denis and Greg, two other family members, some person who is actually named "Wyn Dragon," the local sheriff Graeme Buchanan, and just about everybody else in town, ranging from Hollie's female caretaker to a local cop and his wife.
- . Hollie is a massive IRL troll who used Down's syndrome as a convenient cover to infiltrate and unmask a gang of evil Scottish pedophiles.
Elaborate Government Coverup
Anne and Hollie were summoned to the police station for questioning on 25 August 2000. BUT IT WAS A TRAP! Anne was lured into another room for an "interview" while a "social worker" deftly attended to Hollie by injecting her with a tranquilizer.
Anne, however, was oblivious to this fact and only noticed Hollie's sluggish behavior as they were on the way home. Rather than drive to a hospital, Anne decided in her infinite wisdom to return to the police station. Mysteriously, there were no doctors at the police station. COINCIDENCE?
A couple weeks later, a medical team showed up at Anne's house and seized her. She struggled, but they RIPPED OFF HER CLOTHES AND INJECTED HER WITH A TRANQUILIZER AS WELL. Apparently, the local mental institution was in cahoots with the pedophile ring and attempted to have Anne committed for "schizophrenia" so that they could have sweet, delicious Hollie all to themselves. Unfortunately for the pedophile government machine, Anne was released. Realizing that Anne's freedom meant that Hollie had escaped from their clutches, the Solicitor General herself ended the investigation into the alleged rapes.
In the meantime, Denis decided it was high time for a vacation in Portugal, not unlike the McCanns.
Despite the fact that no crime was officially committed, Hollie was eventually awarded £13,500 by the Criminal Injury Compensation Authority. Noone knows for sure why this money was sent. This is mostly because nobody cared.
This all changed in 2010, fully ten years after the investigation, when a Palestinian blog reported the whole story as if the shit had just gone down. This time around, what with the help of the likes of Twitter and Digg, the news spread rapidly and caused a random uproar.
On April 15, rather than file her taxes, professional YouTube vlogger Druanna, whose qualifications included being fat, psychic, and correctly predicting the coming of the Galactic Federation of Light, revealed the true nature of Hollie's adventures. Druanna also explains that through the power of Facebook, she was going to shut down the British government. Unfortunately, her channel no longer exists (probably due to MI6 agents), but an alternate video showing Hollie's harrowing story is available below.
—Druanna would never abuse children
- United for Hollie Greig - Their motto is "All Hollie, All of the Time." Troll this.
- Palestinian Telegraph article. Palestine? Really?
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