How I Became Yours

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search

How I Became Yours TLDR[edit]

In the not-too-distant summer of 2008, the sun was bright in /a/. Inuyasha had finally fucked off into narrative oblivion after 12 years, Naruto and One Piece were still active, Guts had just started his boat-trip adventure and Bleach was already becoming a walking joke in the anime community. One day, an innocent gallery maker stumbled upon Jackie Diaz' DA page after having his eyes bleached out by the (second) really, really infamous Diaz fancomic about Ichigo waxing Orihime's ass (which recently got validated by Bleach canon because Kubo is a known hack) and out of morbid curiosity, the same figure wondered if there was anything worse than he just saw in her gallery. Turns out she was a raging Zutarian. He shared the spoils with /a/ in a livestream. The screams and frustrations and disbelief coming from this atrocious horseshit can still be heard echoing the halls of /a/ to this day. The closest to perfect replication of those reactions could be found whenever someone strolls through Reddit to read a Borba comic. How I Became Yours is a 216 page Avatar: The Last Airbender fancomic. Created by the tartlet Deviantart-favicon.png waterbender196 (IRL name Jackie Diaz), it uses incredibly well-drawn art and completely accurate character interpretation to tell the story of what happened after the show's ending.

The only lulzy anything worth mentioning of this stupid fancomic is the hilarious prediction of blood-bending during the day ACTUALLY MAKING IT IN CANON. Who's laughing now??

If you like canon, the characters, anything not related to Zutara: this is your last chance to turn back. You have been warned.

Plot[edit]

   
 
This is probably the biggest piece of shit fancomic I've ever seen, bar none. From the clearly traced poses and faces, to the idiotic shipping, to the wildly misspelled and nonsensical dialogue, to the totally out-of-place Western clothing and settings, to the complete and total lack of any kind of consistent characterization, it hits pretty much every level of badness the fandom has to offer.
 

 
 

— the poor sap who cataloged the entire series before waterbender196 baleeted it.

Chapter 1: Life in what is totally the Earth Kingdom why do you ask?[edit]

Mai might have put the country in DANDER, but at least she isn't a CHARD MONSTER!!!

The comic opens with Katara infodumping the audience about how beautiful the Earth Kingdom is. Then she cries for some reason. Toph runs into her bedroom to comfort her with some hot lesbian sex and tells the audience that it's "the anniversary" (straight-up stealing dialogue from Iroh and Zuko's conversation in the first episode of season two of the actual show). They walk to a memorial marker and we find out that it's actually the grave of Katara's aborted baby Kuzon.

We then flash back to three years in the past where we see a super-preggers Katara with a fish-lipped Sokka pressing his face against her stomach. Katara punches him in the dick and sends him into the kitchen to make her a sandwich.

At that very moment, far away, Fire Lord Zuko is angsting into the sunset about his inability to type out the word "you" instead of just using "u" all the time. Oh, and we also find out that Zuko is Katara's aborted baby daddy.

Three years in the future, Iroh busts down Zuko's door despite the sock over the doorknob and tells him that he must look inside himself to save himself because only then will his true self reveal itself. Oh, and that Katara was going to have his baby and name it something completely retarded but then it died. And now Zuko's real wife, Mai, is pissed.

Also, Toph has a massive rock-boner for Aang.

Back to Zuko, he and Mai have a fight where he keeps his pimp hand strong and she calls him a CHARD MONSTER and he calls her a TRATIOR and basically their marriage is so over.

Chapter Two: Europe and Dead Babies[edit]

Insert your favorite dead baby joke here.

This chapter begins with preggers!Katara hanging around being fat when a servant brings her moar food. Katara starts shoving everything she can grab into her fat face when suddenly HOLY SHIT THE APPLE WAS POISONED, TIME FOR A MISCARRIAGE!

The remaining audience still reading this shit is then rocketed BACK TO THE FUTURE when Katara wakes up from this memory/nightmare and we get three pages of the exact same panel of her crying copypasted over and over and over again, interspersed with panels of her having sex with Zuko.

Meanwhile, Sokka is wandering aimlessly minding his own damn business when he *hears woman grunting and whine in pain* and yes that is the exact "sound effect" used for this scene. Turns out its some ninja chick who done got herself stabbed so Sokka resists the temptation to stick his dick in the wound and instead carries her back to Toph's house.

Aang has a brief conversation with a tattooless clone of himself. Turns out Toph makes his panties wet, who knew.

Then Zuko shocks the entire Fire Nation by wearing his hair down so that Katara will recognize him when he goes back to see her. Uh, pretty sure you've already got a distinctive scar there, Zuko. You'd need some serious plastic surgery before anyone could mistake you for someone else.

While Zuko's getting some fabulous styling advice from his uncle, Katara's having a ball in 18th century Europe to celebrate her birthday. Every minor Avatar character gets their own OOC cameo and is quickly forgotten. Then Aang shows up and Toph cums everywhere. Then Zuko shows up with his hair in a topknot, completely negating the "I will wear my hair down and blow everyone's minds" scene earlier. We are treated to a sloooooooooow moooooooooootion scene of Zuko and Katara running towards each other across a ballroom full of photos of European royalty. They do it right there on the dance floor. Afterwards Katara informs Zuko that whoops his baby is dead and it died on the day before her birthday, HOW TRAGICALLY CONVENIENT!

Chapter Three: A Whore's Redemption[edit]

The turtleducks blend seamlessly into the rest of the image.
Zuko's tattoo. Do not adjust your monitor.

This entire chapter is basically just Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" with stupid names.

Ninja bitch wakes up and is revealed as PRINCESS AZULA OH SHIT! Except she has ~*~amnesia~*~ and thus no memory of who she is. Instead of doing what any sane young man would do and exploiting this fact in order to finally get laid, Sokka attacks her, proving once and for all that he is gay. Azula runs dramatically through a field but is unable to escape her European garb.

Then she stops to feed some hilariously Photoshopped turtleducks.

Katara catches up with Azula and they have a nice long chat.

Meanwhile, Toph explains to Iroh, Aang, and Zuko that Azula is back. They promptly flip the fuck out but are placated by the reminder that this means there will be an additional vagina around, bringing the male/female ratio that much closer to 1:1.

Azula steals Belle's outfit and starts communing with the animals and shit. She also has nightmares about losing her mother, being consumed by blue flames, and missing out on the latest Evanescence concert. To comfort her, Toph and Katara braid her hair and have naked pillow fights. Sokka reads poetry to her.

A few days later, Azula is hiding in a tree spying on Sokka when the tree branch breaks and they immediately fall into the sex position. Since Sokka is gay, Azula has no choice but to rape him.

Katara and Zuko have sex and it is revealed that Zuko got a really blurry tattoo to prove his love for her.

After sexytimes, Katara and Azula braid each other's hair and giggle for five pages. Every panel is copy and paste.

Then Azula runs through a fucking rainstorm with Sokka and makes out with him under a tree. Tragically, no lightning bolt strikes them both dead.

Chapter Four: Mai reacts to the goings-on in a completely rational manner and gets killed for her troubles. SPOILER ALERT![edit]

Katara is a good person.

So apparently Mai has an older brother named Sho who is a trained assassin and a clone of someone from the Bleach universe. Whatever. Mai explains to Bleachy that she won't be happy until she sees Katara's head ROT ON A SPIKE! Shit just got real, yo.

Azula gets her memories back and cries over what a terrible person she was. Sokka swallows his gay pride and comforts her with sex.

Aang asks Toph to be his wife using a betrothal necklace, despite the fact that betrothal necklaces are a Water Tribe tradition, not Earth Kingdom. Instead of earthbending him to his knees so he can suck her dick in penance, Toph accepts his proposal.

Toph announces her engagement to Katara and Azula. They promptly squeal like High School Musical fans and have a tea party in celebration.

Aang announces his engagement to Sokka and Zuko, resulting in the most obviously copypasted page in the entire epic.

But all is not well in 18th-century Europe! We cut to Mai, who is plotting in gawffick darkness to visit the Earth Kingdom with her throwing knives coated in POISON. GASP.

Zuko broods into the twilight while Aang and Toph have sex.

The next day, Azula and Zuko and Iroh have a touching family reunion and are joined by Ursa, who apparently shops at the same mall as Mai.

Speaking of Mai, she shows up in Katara's bedroom and complains that Zuko never bought her flowers! Oh, and she confesses to being the one who poisoned the apple that caused Katara's miscarriage. Whoops. Katara cartwheels her way through a fight scene with Mai.

Toph and Ursa (who can apparently blend blue fire now, the hell?) rush to Katara's aid. Sokka is accosted by some mysterious assassin dude traced from a Bleach manga. Katara appears at the scene of Sokka's fight and starts waterbending Bleach-guy. Then Azula shows up and angsts for a bit about how her favorite fuckbuddy is in danger. She attempts to lightningbend at Bleach-guy but OH SHIT KNIFE IN TITS!

Yep, Mai's killed Azula, and Toph and Ursa finally arrive on the scene.

And then, in this comic's crowning moment of glory, Katara bloodbends Mai to death. IN THE FUCKING DAYTIME. Not even Tarrlok was this bad, woman.

Chapter Five: Epilogue[edit]

(Also known as SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST LET IT END.)

Five years in the future, everyone is happy. Azula is Yue for some reason, no one ever talks about anything that happened in the five years previous, and all of the characters have offspring, and all of the offspring have the exact same face.

Tracing, Mary Sues, and DRAMA[edit]

Zuko and Sokka are the exact same person, while Aang has a high center of gravity.
Screenshot? What screenshot?
Totally not traced.

Despite having no artistic ability, Ms. Diaz managed to produce over 200 pages of Zutara fantasy. How did she manage such a feat? Why, by referencing screencaps from Avatar and sundry other shows and movies, of course!

Other TARTlets called her on her shit, but she denied accusations of tracing even when overlays of her comic panels and screencaps of the show matched up line for line. She was eventually banned from deviantART after enough people reported it. This marks the first instance that devianTART has ever taken action against tracing, and it will probably be the last.

Ms. Diaz also ignored the show's established setting in favor of her own, and made up her own character interpretations as well:

  • Azula went from being a fearsome, psychotic killer to a tearful amnesiac who falls for Sokka. Oh, and at the end she becomes some kind of lobotomized reincarnation of Yue.
  • Mai, formerly a sympathetic girlfriend to Zuko, becomes a shrew who sends Katara a poisoned fruitbasket to make her miscarry Zuko's baby. (But it's okay, because Katara gets her back by bloodbending her to death.)
  • Toph goes from being a badass action girl to being a simpering nitwit concerned only with whether or not Aang thinks she's pretty.
  • Zuko has sex with Katara despite his marriage to Mai, then beats Mai when she complains.
  • Katara gets knocked up with Zuko's baby, then miscarries, then bloodbends Mai to death (during the daytime, wtf?), then reunites with Zuko and gets knocked up with even more of his babies.
  • Aang exists to be rotated at odd angles and have painful expressions on his face. Oh, and to hook up with Toph.
  • Sokka is just Zuko recolored and flipped. He brings Azula back to life by being really sad about her death.
  • Suki does not exist, although her character design was traced and used as a Fire Nation servant.

The Sequel[edit]

It came and went. Nobody gave a shit about it since it basically was a fanfic of a crappy fanfic rather than the incredibly stupid OOC butchering of a bunch of fictional characters and plot for the sake of shipping preferences. The link for the sake of reference.

Also **cough cough** The Legend of Korra **cough** Let's wait until Korra finds herself inexplicably attracted to Ichigo in How I Became Yours Part Deuce. WAX THAT ASS!

Links[edit]

Shipping[edit]

Portal anime.png

How I Became Yours is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.

Portal icon television.gif

How I Became Yours is part of a series on

Media

Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.

How I Became Yours
is part of animated shows, a series on
Television
Hypnotoadcartoonstemplate.gif

Not to be confused with Animu
Disney, Fox, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros., & Adult Swim [-+]
Nickelodeon, MTV, Comedy Central & Hasbro [-+]
Other Networks [-+]