Hozupindahows00s

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ATTENTION!
The subject of this article is a lolcow, and is currently ripe for milking.
You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.


Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Profile picture by hozupindahows00s-dahlpd1.jpg

Hozupindahows00s (Paul Patterson) is either the most clever Satirical artist to ever troll the likes of DeviantArt with his no talent, hastily drawn MS Paint disasters that he likes to ironically calls masterpieces that can even make something like Doopie DoOver's felching racoon look like high Art or he's just another of the floundering aspertards that happen to populate the internets believing that they're someone of importance and it's only a matter of time before someone finally notices their Self-inserting Sonic The Hedgehog fanfic to offer them the assload of cash for the rights that they are convinced that it's worth.

With this being the internet and after having a look at Paul's sophmoric behaviours, it's most likely the latter.

Despite being the brillant artist, international figure and Hollywood celebrity Paul is probably most well known for jerking it to pictures of GothNebula while hoping to get her attention by White knighting her, blanking Samantha's ED page or by starting E-Petitions that will force the Internet police into action and getting them to finally take down her ED article because it made her cry.


Paul Patterson[edit]



Paul Patterson , born 29 March 1995 is a self-admitted waste of a human being, an overgrown 22-year-old delusional, autistic Manchild and self proclaimed internet warrior fighting the war against cyber-bullies that's convinced that, one day, he'll find the love of his life at an Atlanta, Georgia Roller Rink that is populated only by Girls 14-years-old and younger.

Some might compare him to Chris-Chan with his creating such stale and unispired Sonic fanfic characters like "Brice the Badger" or his invention of a self-serving world that has him as the central god figure that can bend it to his will as a coping mechanism to deal with reality.

Unlike Chris-Chan, he has a family that finally got sick of his Basement Dwelling, play video games all night and sleep all day ass. It was after a rousing game of Grab ass with his sister Sophie that his parents decided that it was best for theirs and his sister's safety that they Ban hammer his Autism spreading ass from their house. Seeing this as an opportunity to teach him a major life lesson, Paul's parents told him to get the fuck out, get a job and that it's time for his worthless, mooching ass to get a place of his own because there's no way he's stepping back into their house after his sister hit his ass with a restraining order.


White Knighting[edit]



Like most greasy skinned, acne ridden, hairy palmed manchildren that populate the internets Paul believes that if he defends a woman's honor enough, against the virtual and cowardly hoard marching against her, that he will impress her so much that she will finally talk to him online.

Unable to talk to girls, Paul is like so many little boys on the internet that have become convinced by dating sims and RPG's that love is something that will be awarded to a player when they have completed a certain number of side quests or amassed enough experience.

Paul's current amorous aim is set on GothNebula. GothNebula can be best described as a stringy haired, blotchy skinned, weak chinned, failure of a chest, Wanna-be Japper whore.

Like so many Little boys on the internets, Paul knows nothing about his object of desire or if she's even a real girl. Like so many boys that have made Women feel uncomfortable as they've watched her shop for panties at a Victiria's Secret while watching and drooling from the street side of the store's front window, they have never talked to this girl that they are willing to elevate high enough up on a pedstal just so they can look up her dress. All they have done is seen a picture and fallen in love with the persona that they've created, much like Paul has done with The character Amy Rose.

Much like how Paul refuses to see evidence to the contrary that his idealized version and masturbation fantasy of Amy Rose is Bullshit and fanatism, he bequeaths the same positive personality traits onto GothNebula. Paul has claimed that GothNebula is a good person that's filled with purity and a Christ like divinity despite his never having met her or have gotten so much as a Twatter reply from her.

Hozupindahows00s Vs. æ[edit]

Like so many Lol-cows: Chris-Chan, Bbraefan1530, Kurt Eichenbald, LifeInATent, MeganSpeaks and Sarah Andersen that have come before him, Paul believes that he can submit an online petition, that has 5 legitimate signatures and a couple hundred forged signatures, to The Jewnited States of Americunts great and mighty President Donald Trump or some nameless Congress Man and have Encyclopedia Dramattica removed forever from the code of the internets on the grounds that his or someone else's feelings were hurt.

Paul Patterson Stats[edit]

  • Name: Paul Patterson
  • Height: 6'2"
  • Weight: 154 lbs
  • DOB: 3/29/1995
  • POB: ATL
  • Favorite color: brown
  • Favorite food: Twinkies (He's a fan of anything he can suck the cream out of)
  • Favorite actor: ✡Adam Sandler✡ (This, alone, answers so much)
  • Favorite actress: J-Lo
  • Favorite rapper: Gucci Mane
  • Favorite singer: J-Lo
  • Favorite band: Creed
  • Favorite sport: skateboarding (Is this really a thing anymore with Tony Hawk being so old he has to worry about breaking a hip if he misses a landing?)
  • Favoritist Shipping couple: Sonic and Amy

Gallery Of Gayness[edit]




Paul's Retardedness Is Already Legendary[edit]

How To Troll Paul[edit]

Good night amy rose by rotten jelly babie-d3bmehd.jpg
Amy Rose relaxing
  • Mock GothNebula in any way. If you focus on her shitty ass Sonic Fanfics and know what you're talking about you can get some tard rage. While you're already walking down this side of the street, don't forget to remind him what a whore she is.
  • Tell him that you'll kick his ass and he'll immediately turn into an internet tough guy that is a master of 12 martial arts.
  • Remind him that his parents kicked his autistic ass out because he Almost raped his sister
  • Call him a crybaby. Despite this being the truth and his admitting to crying like a bitch over certain events he'll sperg out.
  • Tell him that Amy Rose is The worst fucking Sonic character of all time
  • Send him drawings of a dead or dying Amy Rose. Feel free to use the image on the right.
  • Draw Amy Rose with a dick
  • Any image of Amy Rose being the whore she is and fucking someone other than Sonic will do the trick


External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]


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