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Hypno

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Readers are advised to avoid looking directly into Hypno's eyes.

Back in the days of Pokémon Red and Blue, when the Psychic-type reigned supreme and raep'd everything in its path, there was simply no excuse for not having a Psychic Pokémon on your team. Why, with the ability to tear their enemies minds apart through psychokinetic power, you'd be stupid not to have one - motherfuckers got their shit stabbed the fuck up if they didn't. That was just how people rolled back then, you get me?

But while it was common to see trainers packing an Alakazam or a Mewtwo, there was one Psychic-type that you seldom saw anybody using.

And there was a very good reason for that.

Biology

An artist's impression of the creature.
Hypno as he appeared in 1940s Nazi propaganda.
   
 
It carries a pendulum-like device. There once was an incident in which it took away a child it hypnotized.
 

 
 

—The chillingly vague Pokédex entry for Hypno, which seems to raise more questions than it answers.

   
 
Not popular with girls because of its attitude. Can often be heard muttering to itself in a low voice.
 

 
 

—Another sinister factoid from Hypno's Pokémon card.

   
 
Carries a pendulum with it always. Sometimes appears near less-traveled roads and schools at dusk.
 

 
 

Chris Hansen would doubtless like to capture this Pokémon.


Jew Hypno is the 97th Pokémon in the Pokédex and the evolved form of Drowzee.

A strange, disturbingly human-like, bipedal creature with yellow skin, cruel, slitty eyes and a prominent, beaky nose, Hypno has an odd appearance even by the standards of some of the other weird shit you see in the Pokédex. The creature invariably carries a pendulum in its left (or, sinister) hand, although no explanation has been given as to where it acquired such an object. Indeed, there is precious little information known about Hypno.

What is known, however, is that Hypno are able to use the power of hypnosis to put their victims to sleep and then feast upon their dreams. If they're not so lucky, it is likely certain that Hypno will then devour their innocence. And then their flesh.

Because of this, some Pokémon Professors argue that there may be some link between Hypno and another creature that preys upon children, although this has yet to be proven.

Hypno's Lullaby

 
 
Come, little children,

Come with me.

Safe and happy, you will be.

Away from home, now let us run,

With Hypno, you'll have so much fun!

Oh, little children, please don't cry.

Hypno wouldn't hurt a fly!

Be free to frolic, be free to play,

Come with me to my cave to stay.

Oh, little children, please don't squirm,

These ropes, I know, will hold you firm.

Now, look to me, the pendant calls

Back and forth, your eyelids fall.

Oh, little children, you cannot leave.

For you, your families will grieve.

Minds unravelling at the seams,

Allowing me to haunt their dreams.

Do not wail and do not weep.

It's time for you to go to sleep.

Little children, you were not clever,

Now you'll stay with me forever...
 


 

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