Iain Hall

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Info non-talk.png Iain Hall has retired from bloggering. See below
Lookin' good in sunny Queensland, ps: fuck the homos

Iain Hall (or Iain; Hall as he is sometimes known) was an unemployed Australian blogger, famous across the Internets for his try-hard right-wing views, his look-at-me trolling and his frequent online stalking of those who challenged his bullshit. Iain Hall is in his 50s and lives in Mount Mee, Queensland with his wife and ridiculously named two children. Unemployed and probably unemployable, Iain Hall spent almost a decade picking internet arguments with other bloggers, while attempting to attract visitors back to his eye-raping website. In May 2015 he announced that he would no longer be updating his blog, citing health problems, believed to be chronic back pain and an ongoing porn addiction.

During his blogging career Iain Hall gained a substantial amount of notoriety for stalking other blogs, Twitter accounts and online photo albums, for attempted blackmailings, making legal threats and spamming blog comment threads - all while denying that he had done anything wrong. Iain Hall was also known for lecturing on internet etiquette and demanding higher standards of behaviour from others than he regularly exhibits himself. Iain Hall created over forty fake blogs to defame and insult his opponents, calling them "stinking pieces of shit" and "lesbian Nazis". He was also been caught out sending out bounties of Scotch in exchange for the identities of bloggers whose only crime was being more intelligent and articulate than him. Iain Hall was a friend of fellow Internet jerk-off Ray Dixon (also now retired from the Internet, thank fuck) and also enjoyed gassing puppies[2].

His Blog[edit]

Iain fails at painting a picture of himself failing.
   
 
"This is a blog, an ongoing opinion piece that documents how I, as its author, think and feel about the events that I see happening in the world."
 

 
 

—Iain Hall

In reality Iain Hall's blogs were a lame attempt to attract attention and score 'hits' by dishonestly portraying himself as a reasonable guy and a thinking conservative commentator. Iain Hall routinely boasted about the quantity of traffic and the number of visitors to his site, ignoring the fact that most came from trolls, sockpuppets or people who hate him. Iain Hall was famous for loading up his site with hit counters, graphical visit plotters and the like. He also liked to brag about blog traffic milestones (for example, posts such as '5000 hits!!!', usually filled with multiple animated GIFs). Iain Hall thrived on attention and when visitors to and comments on his blog dried up, as they often did, Iain Hall sallied forth to make provocative comments on other blogs, a shallow attempt to attract new visitors to his own.

Literacy[edit]

   
 
"My grasp of the English language is probably better than most people."[3]
 

 
 

—Iain Hall, Meaning to say "... most people's"

Why Iain is really unemployed

Iain Hall's grasp of the English language is at best tenuous and at worst illiterate. He has not yet learned that spellcheck features in Microsoft Word and Firefox do not form long strings of random words into functioning clauses. Iain Hall particularly struggles with the spelling of headlines, since Firefox can only spellcheck posts. Iain Hall has an affection for using big words but in reality his spelling and grammar are at grade six level. One example:


   
 
"To be analogous and equally funny Bolts book would have to be placed in say the Marxism or Nazi section putting it in the “humour” section is by no stretch of the imagination in the same league as the placement of Flannery’s book in mythology/religion section. There is no relationship to a previous classification claim that is hotly denied by Bolt or his supporters, only those who are into cheap name calling and shallow derision would think that by simply claiming that Bolt’s work should be seen as a joke would think that suggesting it is by placing in under that category actually makes it so."[4]


 


 
 

—Iain Hall, on properly using commas as sentence breaks, ....what

Iain Hall has refused to take direct responsibility for the above quote, instead skirting around the issue and blaming it on the ignorance of youth. He claims to have seen "far worse than this..." and says he has improved[5]. He hasn't[6].

Classic examples of Iain Hall spelling errors have included "furfilled"[7], "looser"[8][9], "loosing"[10] and memorably "bloggosphere"[11][12] - a word he wrongly claimed had no set spelling. Iain Hall also once famously misspelled the name of a fail troll blog - "Carry On Bloging" - a misdemeanor that, to his shame, has not been forgotten.
Toaf wins.
While Iain Hall has always over-used commas, he has recently taken to using semi-colons in a haphazard fashion, merely dotting them in random fashion over a page with no thought to where they actually belong.[13] [14] [15] This has given Iain Hall the nickname "Iain; Hall to many of his protagonists."

Style of arguing[edit]

"The thinking man's Iain Hall"

Iain Hall's style of arguing is the stuff of internet myth. He is famous for his goalpost-shifting, his reliance on strawmen (telling people what "the Left" do and do not think is a specialty) and his constant insistence that he is right and anyone who thinks differently is not. This makes Iain Hall easy to argue with, since his flawed logic can be quickly revealed, however he will always dodge the issue, never admit to being wrong and never apologise.

Godwin's Law: Iain Hall will often compare the subject matter to the Nazis, thereby invoking Godwin's Law and automatically losing [16]. Interestingly, Iain Hall has more recently been accusing others of breaking Godwin's Law, despite the fact that he does it regularly.

Pro-homosexual/gay: In debates pertaining to sexual orientation, Iain Hall will often refer to the other side, puzzlingly, as "pro-homosexual", thereby clearly labeling himself "anti-homosexual" by default, a charge he intriguingly denies [17].

Parroting Bolt: Watch in awe as Iain Hall uses Bolt's buzzwords and catchphrases[18], but continues to claim he can think for himself [19].

Comprehension: Iain Hall frequently accuses people of not understanding, or missing, his point. This is fair enough, as his point is usually so convoluted that it's impossible to follow.[20] Iain Hall will often follow up a post with dozens on "clarification" comments that still fail to make clear what he meant in the first place.

Nothing original: Most of Iain Hall's posts contain a long slab of text lifted from a news site, accompanied with a couple of lines of his poorly-spelled commentary underneath. This allows him to fill his blog without having any original ideas of his own. In fact, Iain Hall is so insecure about his own beliefs that he'll reprint an article and enthusiastically endorse it, even if it goes against something he's said in the past. Favorite sources of political discourse include the Daily Mail and Abby Winters.

Hotlinking: Iain Hall adorns his blog with photographs, cartoons and animated GIFs, of which he is particularly fond.[21] However, these are always hotlinked, exposing Hall as a bandwidth thief of significant proportions. Coming in 2011 - a guestbook. Iain has also recently discovered the YouTube "embed" function, and fills his posts with pointless, unamusing videos.

Straw-men galore: Iain Hall is a compulsive builder of straw-men, which he uses to provoke arguments with and attract comments from left-wing bloggers. Iain Hall's most common tactic is to propose some wild or irrational view that no right-minded person would hold, then attribute it to "the minions of the Left", "Latte Sippers" or "my learned friend" (his wank fantasy, Jeremy Sear). When asked to provide examples of left-wing bloggers who have actually expressed these views, Iain Hall can never provide links or evidence. Iain Hall's statements about left-wing views are about as credible as the writings of L. Ron Hubbard.

Never wrong: No matter how wrong he is, Iain Hall cannot and will not admit when he has made a mistake. Iain Hall will argue himself into a corner rather than admit he was incorrect, nor will he apologise for his mistakes or transgressions. Iain Hall instead resorts to labeling his critics as "bullies".

Motives[edit]

Iain Hall's reputation as an online stalker has led to some Queensland towns erecting warning signs

When challenged about the more dubious of his behaviours, such as stalking and using other people's images, Iain Hall constantly refers to his "muse".[22] For example, in a post where Iain Hall published without permission an e-mail exchange involving two other parties, he justified this by stating:


   
 
"I don’t control where the muse inspires me to go.
 

 
 

—Iain Hall

The real Muses were Greek spirits, which is at odds with Iain Hall's self-proclaimed atheism. Of course Iain Hall referring to his "muse" is just a convenient cover story for his dark obsessions: a sick fascination with Melbourne lawyer Jeremy Sear, an insatiable desire to attract hits and comments at his blog, and a predilection for lecturing all and sundry on the ills of the world. Blaming a mythical "muse" allows Iain Hall to dodge responsibility for the worst of his Internet behaviour.

Milestones[edit]

Like many narcissists, Iain Hall claims to be a "humble blogger" but in reality he is a constant self-promoter. Iain Hall repeatedly celebrates pointless and uninteresting milestones, like "100,000! hits" and his "3,000th post", as if anyone else apart from him actually gives a shit. In most cases these milestone posts are adorned with idiotic animated GIFs (Hall's trademark) or silly and irrelevant pictures. In May 2013 Iain Hall celebrated his one millionth hit by thanking his three co-authors (two of whom no longer post), his wife (whose regular employment funds Hall's blogging, stalking and general bludging) and his children (for not yet stumbling across the cache of porn on his hard drive).[23]

A study released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics broke down the million hits on Iain Hall's blog thus:

  • 34.2% came from Iain Hall himself, clicking 'refresh' to see if he had any new comments.
  • 29.7% came from victims of Iain Hall's stalking, checking to see if their stolen posts, comments or pictures were still on his blog.
  • 15.9% came from people Iain Hall had trolled on other blogs, dropping in to confirm that he really is retarded.
  • 8.1% came from researchers in the US and Europe, investigating people with severe cases of psychosis.
  • 5.6% came from people who had googled "Lara Bingle tits".
  • 3.5% came from fans of the award winning children's cartoon "Noddy".
  • 3.0% came from Google Image searches for "bearded twat".

Hall's meaningless milestone was welcomed by his fellow dick-puller Ray Dixon. Ray Dixon, who like Hall is paranoid and nasty, was unable to congratulate Hall without slagging off numerous other people:


   
 
We’ve had everyone from the extreme left to the extreme right here over the years. We’ve had muslim-bashers like GD and muslim-lovers like Damian. We’ve had ‘Saints’ like me and absolute shitheads like Bridgit ‘Chandler’ Gread (I wonder where she’s working now?). And we’ve had sanctimonious bloggers and social media ‘experts’ like you-know-who-I-mean drop in to lecture you on Internet ‘behaviour’ (while not having the greatest of records in that regard themselves). And then we’ve had the nutters like the flyboy from Flinders Island and the real piece of work from down on the Bellarine Peninsula (well, two of them actually). And we’ve had anonymous hate blogs set up to discredit you and others here in a bid to have you taken down, only to have the tables reversed on them.
 

 
 

Fine words coming from someone with an obvious mental illness and a complete lack of self awareness. Ray Dixon is so hated on the net that he was recently forced to close his own blog. He has now returned to the comedy failure known as "Sockpuppet". With Dixon contributing dimwitted "Sockpuppet" posts and abusing and insulting just about all of Hall's commenters, Iain Hall can look forward to his two-millionth hit sometime in 2032.

Death of a blog[edit]

Iain Hall's sad blog went into decline in 2014 and early 2015. His fellow lunatic Ray Dixon disappeared, while Iain Hall's own posts became less frequent, however he continued to plague the comment pages at more popular sites like the Guardian and New Matilda. On 4 April 2015 Iain Hall met with long time blogwar protagonist Scott Bridges[24]. Five weeks later, on 13 May 2015, Iain Hall announced his intention to retire from blogging, citing health issues[25]. According to Google, the closure of Hall's blog increased the average IQ of the entire Internet by 0.0454%.

Deviant Internet behaviour[edit]

Identity exposure[edit]

A message from the Australian Federal Government

Iain Hall first came to prominence under the pseudonym 'niceperson', with which he stalked left-wing idiot Jeremy Sear[26]. Iain Hall's early blog Boltwatch-Watch started as a counter point to Sear's own BoltWatch [27]. Unable to actually articulate why Sear annoyed him so much, or hold his own in an argument, Boltwatch-watch quickly degenerated into personal attacks...


   
 
"Walter Jeremy Sear is trying again to spin the fact that he has been absolutely named in public he gives the TSSH and Tim Blair a gurnsey for the effort but he churlishly ignores me ;( http://iambeingnice.blogspot.com/ oh well It is just another way that he makes everyone laugh .

In the last few months I have documented his follies in trying to not deny the thruth of his name , his respone at AL ? posts another Kitten picture , Nice that he should have so many pictures of his master .
 


 
 

—Iain Hall


   
 
"Can i be so bold as to sugest (sic) that you include a link to my blog where I have a photo of him that he just tried to claim copyright on !!

And I think you will find that he wont (sic) ACTUALLY deny it because that would be a public lie ,oh so naughty for a barrister Herer (sic) is my blog address http://iambeingnice.blogspot.com/ and this links direct to the photo http://iambeingnice.blogspot.com/2006/01/who-is-this-young-chap-and-why-does.html The photo is public domain so feel free to repost at the Spin Starts here :o)"
 


 
 

—Iain Hall

Iain Hall has also attempted to recruit a minor to locate personal information on another blogger named Bruce[28]. Iain Hall even went as far as asking the minor to take pictures of Bruce for his website. Another Iain Hall attempt to locate a blogger's personal details, this time about 'Bridgit Gread', went horribly wrong after he believed his victim to be a Melbourne TV journalist. Iain Hall e-mailed several news outlets and wrote a lengthy attack on this individual, only to withdraw it after 24 hours in case he was sued for defamation.[29]

Iain Hall also has a history of visiting blogs that criticise him and flooding the comment banks with random and nonsensical text.

Twitter stalking[edit]

Iain denies having a Twitter account, yet his email account shows up on their database.

Desperate for attention, in 2009 Iain Hall took to stalking the locked Twitter accounts of his enemies under the pseudonym PeterSam040. Stupidly, he decided to blog about it[30] and was quickly exposed. Instead of taking the honorable way out and admitting he made a mistake, Iain Hall instead denied that he had created a Twitter account and boasted that locked Twitter accounts could be viewed through someone else's stream. This is patent nonsense, and as the screenshot on the right shows, Iain Hall's secret email account (previously used for his porn) had registered a Twitter account.


   
 
You guys just don’t understand the characteristics of the medium that you have all embraced so warmly do the same as I suggested to Dave and you will see precisely what I mean.
 

 
 

—Iain Hall, deluded as usual[31]

After being relentlessly hammered in the comments, Iain Hall finally backed down and admitted he made a mistake - but only after he received a password reset email (triggered by persons unknown) did he admit any wrongdoing. In typical Iain Hall fashion, though, he edited comments and denied that he ever denied making a Twitter account.


   
 
I want to make a correction here because I was actually wrong in my belief about the way that Twitter operates, and yes I have created an account to follow certain Twits, What I did not realise is that when reading particular streams that my PC was logging me in to the service so I made an incorrect conclusion about the system works. I apologise for making that error.
 

 
 

—Iain, wrong again[32]

Supported by Ray Dixon, Iain Hall then went on to blame everyone else for his own wrongdoing.

Flickr/Photobucket Stalking[edit]

When Iain Hall isn't browsing Twitter looking for cheap takedowns, you can find him browsing Flickr or Photobucket accounts looking for photos of innocent friends to publish as retribution for you being smarter than him[33].

Troll and sockpuppet farming[edit]

Iain Hall's main blog has long been a hive of faceless sockpuppets and commenters. Despite his previously strong stand against Internet anonymity, Iain actively encourages pseudonyms and sockpuppets to comment at his blog - provided they hold similar opinions to his and/or attack Hall's enemies. Pseudonyms who criticise Hall himself are quickly moderated or banned. Iain's justification for allowing 'friendly' sockpuppets is that so long as he knows their identity, nobody else has to know (no, we're not making this up). Amongst the resident drones and sockpuppets at Iain Hall's blog are:

  • Ray Dixon, a Bright motel owner who posts under his real name. Once a regular commenter at other sites, Ray Dixon has since been marginalised and thankfully now comments only on Iain Hall's blog. Ray Dixon is far more articulate than Iain Hall but knows absolutely everything and is famously aggressive. Among Dixon's pet subjects are his claims that Twitter has killed blogging. Dixon is also an expert on defamation law and claims to sue someone on almost a weekly basis.
    File:Ray Dixon.jpg
    Ray 'SockPuppet' Dixon aka the Pig of the Internet
  • Dixon also masquerades as a guest blogger called 'Sockpuppet', a dyslexic, sexist, unfunny pig (much like Iain Hall and Ray Dixon themselves really). Ray Dixon spent several months denying he was 'Sockpuppet', despite having been exposed with IP evidence[34]. 'Sockpuppet' is not at all funny, except to himself and Iain, and his feeble posts attract few comments.
  • 'GD' aka Gigdiary. 'GD' is the alter ego of Nigel Hanley, a Sydney music teacher and failed musician. Hanley's main interest is hating on 'the Left', the ALP and Greens, and Muslims, who he claims have infested his native suburb of Toongabbie. He is a particularly nasty character and regularly tangles with Ray Dixon in a colossal clash of egos.
  • 'Husky Jim', one of the Internet's craziest trolls, who is full of conspiracy theories about certain bloggers once hacked his e-mail. Now rarely sighted at Iain Hall's blog.
  • 'David Davidson', an aggressive but ill-informed pest fond of personal abuse and threats. Claimed to be a past or serving member of the Royal Australian Air Force, though this is unlikely. Disappeared after a spat with Ray Dixon but was almost immediately replaced by 'Len', another boaster who claimed military service all over the world. Len famously reported that he was posting to Iain Hall's blog while piloting an aircraft across the Tasman Sea, which sounds about as plausible as talking to aliens on a crystal set.
  • 'MK', who once left the sanctuary of his own blog to comment at Iain Hall's. 'MK' is a gun-happy pro-American lunatic, likely still in his teens or early 20s, who supports the nuclear strafe-bombing of the Middle East. 'MK' does not have a girlfriend and instead shares Iain Hall's love of amateur porn.

Famous Iain Hall fiascos[edit]

The 'Fine Cotton' affair[edit]

An example of Iain Hall's pigheaded stubborn refusal to admit a mistake was the 'Fine Cotton' affair of 2008:


   
 
"Yeah it’s great… or it would be, if your farmers in the south-east [of Queensland] weren’t diverting and pilfering the water that flows into the Murray-Darling system and using it for high-consumption industries like cotton!"
 

 
 

—'MarkL'


   
 
"Another fail for you in geography Mark... we do not grow any cotton in the south east of the state, for that you need to go to the south west."
 

 
 

—Iain Hall


   
 
http://www.cottoncrc.org.au/files/9694d129-e3c3-4d47-8018-9a4f00ff9809/all_statesCotton%20NRM.gif (produces map of cotton catchments - including three significant areas in south-east Queensland)
 

 
 

—'MarkL'


   
 
"You know what Mark in a technical sense you are right there is some cotton grown in the south east of Queensland , however what I understand the south east to be is that area of Queensland that is to the east of the great dividing range. Crow as much as you like but you are on your last warning"
 

 
 

—Iain Hall

Riffgate[edit]

One Sunday morning Iain Hall accused shithouse, irrelevant and manufactured band the Rogue Traders of stealing a riff from Elvis Costello's song "Pump it Up"[35]. With Iain having absolutely no understanding of how music sampling works a Rogue Traders fan* pointed out to him that the riff was sampled with Costello's consent and he was listed as a co-songwriter. In true Iain Hall style, instead of admitting he was wrong by accusing the band of plagiarism and breach of copyright, he said:


   
 
"My post is not at all about making any accusation and I use the word “pinched ” in the most colloquial manner to discuss the way that contemporary music appropriates from the back catalogue of all sorts of songwriters.and recording artists.
 

 
 

—Iain Hall

Correctly, the Rogue Traders fan responded:


   
 
You alleged that the riff was “pinched” (i.e. stolen) and you also alleged “copyright infringement” when there is none. The usual response of decent civilized people would be to say “Oops, I got it wrong, sorry”.
 

 
 

—RT Fan

In a classic Hall response he again tries to worm his way out of another massive Hall fuck-up by painting himself further into a corner and not admitting he was wrong:


   
 
let me point out some simple semantics for you [...] I am not making any sort of allegation of copyright infringement but I am considering the use of Costello’s riff in the light of the recent case where Men at Work have been successfully sued for referencing “kookaburra sits in the old gum tree” in their song “Downunder”...
 

 
 

—Iain Hall

  • Only Iain Hall could be pwned by a fan of the Rogue Traders.

ScotchGate[edit]

A bottle of Queensland Turkey bourbon, released in late 2008 to commemorate the stupidity of Iain Hall and 'Scotchgate'.

Perhaps the best-known and most ludicrous fiasco in the pantheon of Iain Hall fuck-ups was 2008's Scotchgate. After months of intellectual disintegration at the hands of expert troll THR, Iain Hall decided to exact revenge by publicly offering a bottle of Scotch whiskey to anyone who could supply THR's real-life identity:


   
 
"You will be pursued wherever you go using this blogging identity

and when your real identity is discovered, as it will be, you will be named and shamed"
 


 
 

—Iain Hall


   
 
" ... I offer a bottle of Scotch to anyone who can name the scrote." [36]
 

 
 

—Iain Hall, more sarcasm

When challenged about the ethics of offering bounties, Iain Hall quickly backed down, reverting to his usual defence that he was being "sarcastic". A small group of Internet users, however, decided to put Hall's claims to the test. Using a false name ('Matthew French') and a suitably nerdy pic, they supplied Iain Hall with a dossier of juicy but bullshit information about THR. Within a fortnight Iain had rushed to print with this 'information', making thinly-vieled threats against Matthew French and promising to 'out' everyone on the whole damn Internets. Iain Hall also posted off a bottle of Scotch to his 'informant', revealing himself as the worst kind of scumbag - one who would give away fine liquor in order to silence a blog commenter.[37]

Noddy Car[edit]

Here comes Noddy

In lieu of any form of gainful employment, Iain Hall instead builds hobby cars with taxpayer's money. His first car, completed in 2008, is widely known across the Internet as the "Noddy Car". Iain Hall documented this build on one of his thousand blogs; he also uploaded videos of the car being built and tested to YouTube [38]. Being safety conscious, Iain Hall placed labels all over his "Noddy Car". One of the more prominent labels is under the stereo and says:

EYE PROTECTION MUST BE WORN AT ALL TIMES[39]

Iain Hall affixed this because he forgot (or couldn't afford) to install a windscreen.

This one would not be necessary had I decided to fit a windscreen. But if you fit a windscreen you also need wipers and a demister, so instead I got out my old motorcycle helmet that has a drop down Visor and treated it to a coat of the same red paint that I used on the nose cone of the car. Mostly I expect to use either Sunglasses or Safety Glasses now If I can just find a hat that will stay on at speed I will be stoked.[40]

One can only imagine how amused other drivers would be at seeing such a sight as they overtake Iain Hall. Luckily for all concerned, Iain Hall finally got his hands on a windscreen sans the wipers and demister. A further example Iain Hall's love of labels taken from other cars and placed on his own is this:

This vehicle is a high performance specialized sports car.[41]

It is worth noting at this point that the Noddy Car contained the engine from a Nissan van, so it was about as 'high performance' as a Betamax VCR from 1976. Anyone else would think this was Iain Hall's attempt at humor. However, Iain Hall is deadly serious. In early 2009 Iain Hall decided that despite his many months ferking about with the "Noddy car", he was going to rebuild it in order to fine-tune his construction methods, adding optional extras like a steering wheel and a gearbox. Although rebuilding the same car may seem pointless to some, it allowed Iain to avoid getting a job.

JM Saga[edit]

The JM saga began like so many others. In November 2010 an articulate, anonymous, longtime commenter by the name of JM devestatingly critiqued Iain's nonesense on global warming. Iain, who is routinely angered by anonymous commenters because he can't make personal attacks on them, responded the only way he can - by collating JM's comments on one of his numerous stalker blogs and highlighting in red anywhere JM let slip a skerrick of personal information. His intention, as usual, was to threaten and intimidate JM as punishment for being smarter than him.


   
 
You had the audacity to accuse me of ‘cyber stalking” well just to prove a point I went through all of your comments here (very easy as site-owner) and cut and pasted every comment within which you talk about yourself or events in your life go here (where you will find all of the revelations that you have made in red).
 

 
 

—Iain, responding to accusations of cyber-stalking by cyber-stalkiing[42]

JM politely asked Iain remove the page, forgetting that Iain is never wrong and a foremost expert on copyright law:


   
 
As you point out I am legally responsible for the content that I assert copyright over here at my blog and I suppose that includes the comemnts from anonymous commentators like you (that I allow at my discretion).
 

 
 

—Iain, genius at work


   
 
Can you prove that you are the author of every one of those comments?
 

 
 

—Iain Hall, retard at work

The comment thread devolved into hilarity as Iain tried in vain to defend his stalking behaviour, and, as usual, he blamed everybody else for his indefensible actions:


   
 
Oh spare me that sort of bollocks You can’t be unaware that I have been subject to unrelenting trolling from a certain clique of lefties so of course I check out everyone who turns up here to comment, its not malice its self-defence.
 

 
 

—Iain, failing[43]

When everything else failed Iain tried to bribe JM into passing on his identity, with the dubious promise he would never reveal it:


   
 
Now as I have said earlier if you want to dispute my use of words that you claim as your own then do so via email citing just who you are (which I won”t disclose or publish)
 

 
 

—Iain, lying[44]


   
 
If an anonymous someone is making a demand of action from me I am entitled to know who they are.
 

 
 

—Iain, attempted bribery

It wasn't long before the other legal expert Ray "SockPuppet" Dixon joined the fray, providing his unique interpretation of copyright law.


   
 
JM, just to explain the basic fundamental of copyright (something you admit you don’t understand) it is only an infringement of copyright when someone takes your work/words and republishes it without permission for commercial gain.
 

 
 

—RayPuppet, wrong

On the 22nd of November Iain's stalking post was locked.

The Middle East[edit]

Iain Hall is famously afraid of flying (he has blogged several times about this). In seven years of blogging he has never once mentioned, referred to or discussed any time outside of Australia.

In December 2012, Iain Hall made the astonishing claim that he has not only been abroad, he has also been to the Middle East:


   
 
As it happens I have been to the middle east many years ago and as its a long term interest of mine I have spoken to many people about it over the years.
 

 
 

—Iain, talking shit[45]

The blogosphere reacted with disbelief at Hall's claim and insisted that he provide more details about his alleged visit to the Middle East. Hall refused. As yet he has produced no evidence or explanation, so the whole thing smells like horse shit.

Views[edit]

Iain Hall is well known for taking whatever fashionable conservative viewpoint that arises, usually without thinking about it. This gets him into trouble when he is forced to defend those views.

Global warming[edit]

Iain Hall is vehemently opposed to the concept of man-made global warming, mimicking the views of his idols like Bolt and fellow blogger Tim Blair. Despite having tertiary education in Drama and Theatresports - and none whatsoever in meteorology, climatology, paleontology, physics or any other Earth sciences - Iain Hall fancies himself a homespun expert on the topic. Iain Hall dismisses pro-AGW scientists as 'Warministas' and labels anyone who accepts the concept of AGW as a religious fanatic, despite his own denialism being about as logical and as coherent as the Book of Mormon. Iain Hall has even gone to the trouble of starting a blog on the topic, called Carbon Credits Australia. Then again, he's got all the time in the world to start blogs.

Employment[edit]

Iain Hall is notoriously unemployed and has not held any form of paid employment since he began blogging in 2006. He initially claimed to be a 'stay-at-home dad', tending his two children while his wife worked, however both Hall's children are now at school. Iain Hall has consistently refused to answer questions about whether he receives unemployment benefits, other pensions or family tax benefits - all while blogging mercilessly about the unfortunates in society who rely on government allowances. Iain Hall does perform odd jobs, such as the construction of spiral staircases-to-nowhere; he receives cash for these jobs but presumably does not declare this income to the Australian Taxation Office.
Mrs Hall Fire

Internet anonymity[edit]

Iain Hall is a strident critic of Internet users who blog or comment anonymously. He has attacked bloggers who wish to remain anonymous, calling them "cowards."[46] This is paradoxical, since many remain anonymous specifically to protect themselves from the stalking, Google-mining and employer-contacting conducted by Iain Hall. It is also hypocritical, given that early in his blogging career Iain himself concealed his real name and gender, instead going by the pseudonym of "Niceperson" and pretending to be a housewife. This continued until The Editor at GrodsCorp exposed his real name [47]. Iain Hall is famous for criticising sockpuppetry yet his own blog is a hive of sockpuppets. Iain Hall permits and even encourages these sockpuppets to frequent his blog, while banning other anonymous commenters who refuse to produce their 'bone fides' (sic).

Compassion[edit]

Iain Hall is notorious for his lack of compassion. When a blogger [48] suffering from depression quit blogging, Iain was willing to bury the hatchet and express his good wishes:

Some how (sic) I don't think that you are going to be missed that much at all...but one thing that is certain is that you do seem rather desperate for some afirmation (sic); which is a bit sad.Keep taking the pills and cheer up; life is worth living even for sad lefties like yourself.[49]

Iain Hall has also made light of the marital breakdown of two bloggers. On one occasion he expressed faux-sympathy for the person concerned, yet in the same thread commented on it with a two rows of his trademark 'smiley' emoticons. Iain Hall is also famously concerned with indigenous welfare, particularly that of children. In a post titled "Children are our future", Iain gives his opinion on the death of three Aboriginal children killed by a train:

While I feel the pain of the parents at loosing (sic) their children I wonder how any one could let their children under ten wander the streets with out (sic) supervision. The total cynic in me thinks that this is the way that the gene pool is purged , ...[50]

Attitude towards women[edit]

Even though Iain Hall's wife is the main bread-winner in the family, Iain Hall has nothing but contempt for women:

  • "However if some nutter were to pop the bitch I think that the average intelligences of Australian Journalists would certainly rise by significant amount."[51]
  • "Women who goad, nag and belittle their partners must accept some responsibility for the consequences of their actions."[52]
  • "Do you get it ? You can choose, but choose wisely it is decision that you will have to live with for the rest of your life and those around you who may or may not have a vested interest in your life are not obliged to just meekly approve your actions because you are a woman."[53]
  • "As a younger man I embraced the idea that women would see sex in the same way that we mere males do, a physical pleasure somewhat akin to having a drink. [D]espite being a red blooded bloke who still appreciates the sight of a beautiful woman… [i]t seem to me that more women are waking up to the fact that casual sex for its own sake is not that satisfying."[54]
  • "Natasha Stott Despoya (sic) her hair tied back in a severe style, no doubt to make her look more serious and less blonde, made a big play on the word “desperate”."[55]
  • "Bearing false witness is right up there with Rape [sic] itself and should actually carry an equally harsh penalty"[56]

Iain Hall enthusiastically supports "neutering" women who have more than one abortion[57]. Iain Hall is also a staunch defender of his employment status (or lack thereof). He initially claimed that he was working as a stay-at-home dad, however both his children are now of school age, leaving Iain with ample time to take a real job. Iain now just repeats his work-to-live-not-live-to-work mantra, as he spends hours a day updating his blogs and infesting a dozen others.

Battles with trolls[edit]

The "Black Wednesday" Saga[edit]

Guess who?

To read the entire "Black Wednesday" saga click here.

On the 29th of August, someone who seemed to be one of Iain Hall's most loyal supporters, Fang, turned against him [58], admitting that he only felt sorry for him. Iain Hall immediately deleted many of the comments from his blog.


   
 
"I gave you the benefit of the doubt for a long while because I felt sorry for you and stuck up for you even when it made me look like an idiot. However, you can’t even use a spell check. Get a job, and stop using my money to fund your noddy car."
 

 
 

—Fang, turning on Iain

Iain Hall cameos[edit]

Iain Hall has starred in two episodes of GrodsCorp's series "Lachlan Connor Independent". An open secret in the blogging community, Iain Hall has apparently only just found out claiming that his name has been taken in vain [59]. That's right, he thinks he's God now.

Iain Hall's blogs[edit]

Troll blogs[edit]

A rare family photo of Iain

Iain Hall has created many, many blogs for the sole purpose of trolling. Here is a selected rundown:

  • Troll tales and true[60] (Dole Tales and Tripe): Iain Hall revealed this blog in October 2007. It contains a copy of everything that has ever been written about him. Iain Hall claims it's proof of a left-wing conspiracy, but the only thing it's really proof of is that Iain Hall is paranoid beyond belief.
  • ScroteWatch[61]: Yet another trolling blog, created not long after claiming that "Now I have a tacit agreement with Jeremy that I will not drag up our battles past (or continue them) and I stick to my agreements, even tacit ones. And as I have said many many times I am rather bored with the subject of Jeremy Sear and Boltwatch."[62].
  • Bridgit Gread[63]: If it wasn't clear that Iain Hall already hated smart women, this blog proves it. Iain Hall attempts what he describes as "cruel satire" by calling Bridgit Gread as a "lesbian nazi", proving that he doesn't know what satire actually is. Iain Hall linked to the page knowing full well that Bridgit didn't write it, and also refused to disclose that fact, instead gloating around the internet boasting that you "can't defame an anonymous person".
When you come in here and you hear me typing or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the FUCK you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means don't come in. Now, do you think you can handle that?

Complete list of blogs[edit]

Iain Hall is often ridiculed for creating an endless stream of pointless blogs before moving on to "clean the slate". As of September 2009 he has created a total of forty(!) blogs. There may even be more undiscovered Iain Hall blogs; National Geographic and Dr Robert Ballard are currently searching for others. At present Iain Hall only has two blogs open to the public, after he realized that creating multiple attack blogs still didn't make him any friends.

Active blogs[edit]

  • Iain Hall - His main blog since January 2007.
  • Iain's Seven - The sad tale of the Noddy Car Iain is building with tax-payers money.

Locked Blogs[edit]

  • Troll Tales & True - a.k.a Tripe Tales/Dole Tales/Tall Tales. Like a psychopath who collects press clippings of his crimes, this is Iain Hall's "narcissistic, paranoid, histrionic and sometimes schizotypal"[64] blog. He continues to update it even though it is locked.
  • I Am Being nice - The original and the worst. Also the first vehicle for Iain Hall's Sear stalking. Now unlocked for some reason.
  • Being Nice - The updated and modified version of "I Am Being Nice" that Iain Hall moved to Wordpress.
  • Scrote Watch - Not content with having four blogs about Jeremy Sear, Iain Hall has started a new one.
  • Hallwatch - Another fake blog by Iain Hall who distorts the words of Bourbon Boy.
  • Iain Hall Blog - As opposed to Iain Hall.
  • Iain Hall Dot Com - He wishes he owned this domain name.
  • Carry On Bloging (sic) - A blog showing 13 of Iain's 9000 blogs. Some are locked. Some are not. It is a cry for help.
  • Being Nice - Originally at Blogger, now at Wordpress.
  • Building Eight Of Nine - Later Marley's Ghost. Was Iain Hall's main site until September 2006.
  • Boltwatch-Watch - Later renamed The Blowtorch and then Iain Hall, Hetrodox Man. This became his main blog until January 2007. Originally set up to watch BoltWatch. Did a terrible job and he stopped.
  • Flame War Chronicle - a.k.a Fuckwit Chronicle. A journal of the flamewar with HallWatch blogger Bourbon Boy. Currently locked for the precise fact it made Iain Hall look like a fuckwit.
  • Flame War Chronicle - The same blog as above, but at Wordpress.
  • Iain's Seven - The sad tale of the Noddy Car Iain Hall is building with tax-payers money. Moved to Wordpress.
  • Janine Aussie - Freddy fuck knows why Iain made this one.
  • Alex Galea - Iain Hall hasn't deleted this blog for some reason.
  • Catweezle (sic) - Iain Hall sticks it to the lovable TV wizard.
  • Nice Person 709 - Yes, it's going further downhill.
  • Nice Person 907 - A play on numbers.
  • Iain Halls - Play on words of Iain's Balls, we suspect.
  • The Iain Hall - Die Iain Die is German for The Iain, The.
  • The True Meaning Of Blogging - Huh?
  • ScroteWatchWatchWatch - Iain Hall watches himself watching himself stalking.
  • Jack Diamond - WTF?
  • Carbon Credits AU - WFT? x2
  • Mount Mee - No, I'd rather not mount you, Iain Hall.

Deleted Blogs[edit]

Trivia[edit]

"An example of the Latte Left."[1]
  • Iain Hall holds a distinguishing record - 90% of visitors to his blog despise him.
  • Iain Hall calls McDonald's the "Fine Scottish Restaurant". He thinks this is a joke, but no-one is laughing.[65]
  • Uses the term "Latte Left" frequently, as he mistakes it for a valid putdown.[66] Detractors claims he is of the 'Nescafe Right'.[67]
  • He describes himself as an existential atheist, which he surprisingly spells correctly.[68]
  • Once used a picture of a cappuccino to highlight a post about the "Latte Left".[69]
  • Once claimed to have taken part in anti-Vietnam protests when he was in Uni. Except, the Vietnam war ended when he was 9 years old[70]. Has been twice caught lying about his age.
  • Has claimed to have once worked in a fast food shop (probably true as nobody would make that up) [71]
  • Claims to be a "respected conservative commentator", but the only ones who respect him are the most extremist of right wingers. Everyone to the left of Hitler simply think he is mad.
  • Iain Hall likes to ban people from his blog, and frequently erase the past, but he has NEVER ONCE been banned from the blogs of anyone he banned.
  • Iain Hall likes to threaten meaningless lawsuits [72], once even emailing blogger John Surname with the rather startling admission that he wouldn't be using a lawyer, as he would rather service John himself.
  • Whilst many know Iain Hall for his uncompromising approach to internet stalking, few are aware of his achievements. For instance, in 2007, Hall was nominated under several categories for the Australian Weblog Awards. His nominations included, Best Illiterate Blog, Best Try-Hard Blog, Best Comment-Free Blog, Best Performance by an Internet Stalker (twice), Best Dial-up-from-a-Queensland-cow-farm Blog. [73]
  • In 2003 Iain Hall found his first Packard 386 at the tip. It came with a 2.8kps modem, and thus, Iain Hall joined the cyberage at Yahoo Groups[74], spouting surprisingly socialist views.
  • Iain Hall is unable to see teh humour in things which are funny. [75]

What Others Think About Iain Hall[edit]

Iain Hall thinks that his critics are all a cadre of leftists who have joined together to attack him. Granted, some are left-wing, however, there are equally as many, if not more, people from right-wing websites who understand what type of a person Iain Hall is. The Spin Starts Here (TSSH) was a blog that did not take a liking to Jeremy Sear (the person Iain stalks). Many posts there criticized Sear. However, when Iain tried to attack Jeremy at TSSH with his own brand of stalking and harassment, the members of the site told him exactly what they thought.

  • "I think Iain deserves a special prize. To come across as a bigger cunt than lefty in this thread is a spectacular achievement." (johnboy, TSSH)
  • "He's been caught out as a liar, a hypocrite and a stalker and now he's destroying the evidence." (Janine, TWLOTB)
  • "My eyes are bleeding after viewing Iain's blog..." (chunu, TSSH)
  • "What the fuck are you on, Iain?" (puss, TSSH)
  • "YOU, sirrah, are acting like a premier grade cock-biter ... Get off the one-trick pony, quit begging for attention, and chill the fuck out." (TJ, TSSH)
  • "Stalk[ing] and follow[ing] around the net - a pretty accurate description from what I can gather." (Jacki, Tim Blair)
  • "I don't suppose you could learn about fucking punctuation while you're here? Jesus Fucking Christ, how about capitalisation? Grammar? Correct spelling? Does any of this enter your fucking skull, Iain?" (TarredByAssociation, TSSH)
  • "[Not] able to argue honestly and relies on strawmen to give the impression of not admitting defeat. Iain has been caught editing posts to make himself look less foolish." (confudeforeigner, Seeking Utopia)
  • "Iain, you remind me of my neighbour's Jack Russell that will not stop humping my ankle." (Dee Bliss, TSSH)
  • "Iain, your sole purpose here seems to be to say 'ooh! ooh! Look at my blog! I hate Lefty too! Look! At my blog!!' You're harshing my mellow. Fuck off." (Desci, TSSH)
  • "Iain, still blogging about AL and Bolt. If you were a girl, I'm sure you'd get accused of having a thing for Bolt." (Darlene, Darlene Taylor)
  • "Iain Hall is behaving like the one who sucks up constantly to maintain his tenuous position in the group and the one who invariably takes it too far." (Bruce, TSSH)

What Iain Hall thinks about Iain Hall[edit]

Based on his attempted edits to this page as user "Mars Rover"

  • "Iain Hall's style of arguing should not be underestimated, he is sarcastic, tenacious and persistent but he is also generous and affable to those he debates. He exhibits a marked preference for debating the issues rather than engaging in personal attacks. " (Iain Hall on himself, lying through his teeth)
  • "He updates his blog daily drawing on news sources from around the world, his love of nature and an inquiring mind to write thoughtful, sometimes sarcastic, pieces that reflect his unique worldview." (Iain Hall on himself)
  • "The quote below demonstrates Hall’s .. somewhat wicked sense of humour." (Iain Hall up himself)
  • "Iain responded with his unique brand of insightfulness" (Iain Hall deluding himself)
  • "Iain Hall is so unpopular with the left because he is such a tenacious blogger [76], debater [77], fighter for the truth and justice. [78], thinker[79], human being[80]....the list goes on. He succeeds more often than he fails at almost any endeavour, and yet is too humble enough to admit that made a mistake. Essentially, the site is very expansive including emails and posts from all critics that he could find" (Iain Hall deeply in love with himself)

Selected Iain Hall quotes[edit]

Please note: The spelling and grammar below is original and completely unedited.

Iain Hall (who is an immigrant and does not work) on asylum seekers:

If they are seeking to come here for purely economic reasons then by any measure they are not “Refugee’s” nor are the “asylum seekers ” they re illegal; immigrants pure and simple.[81]

Iain Hall wonders if lost shopping might vote Green:

You never know if we don’t keep a lid on these wayward shopping trolleys they may think they are almost human and try to vote “Green” or they could just get religion and instead of groceries start delivering ammonium nitrate mixed with diesel fuel…[82]

On homosexuality, and whether Iain Hall would become gay if his child did:

Personally I have a live and let live attitude to anyone who bats for the other team .Not my cup of tea but in a diverse world ect (sic)… but knowing that for many gay women and men a life of distrust and exclusion will be their lot.. Makes me wonder if one of my children were to be gay and it were possible to would I make that change for them ?[83]
Mrs Hallfire

On a foster child being taken away from a Christian couple who refused to educate the child about homosexuality:

Really it seems like the ideologues in power in the UK won’t be happy until “Buggery 101” is a compulsory subject in all of the schools.[84]

On war:

Regardless of the progress of the war in Iraq I have long thought that for the west there is some value in the focus of the war on terror being over there rather than here[85]

On why bicycle riders must be run down:

It is usually when one is acending (sic) the mountian (sic) that they are most annoying , like sheep they are a herd animal ,and you may encounter mobs of them panting as they pedal furiously to try to conquer the force of gravity .Now this is not such a big deal most of the time but fate being what it is the day you get caught behind a herd of them will be the day that you are in a hurry to meet the school bus and on days like that I tend to think that perhaps their numbers should be reduced by some judicious culling.[86]

On Britons drinking UHT milk:

This is a woeful idea , mainly because UHT milk always tastes so bad. Not it is impossible to drink this stuff bad, but burnt and very processed bad.[87]

On Doctor Who:

I have been I lifelong fan of the Doctor Who series. In fact one of the anecdotes that I like to tell about my childhood concerns the time, when I was nine, that I had an appendicitis, .[88]
"UHT milk tastes very burnt bad..."

On "Silicone tits":

However breast enhancements are very low on my list of worthwhile procedures... My opinion on this issue was made even more certain when I acquired a load of silicone implants courtesy of a retired plastic surgeon.The implants are rather nasty pieces of kit actually, and a lot more fragile than you would expect, why any one would want to pay to have such things implanted ion (sic) their bodies is entirely beyond me, but the (sic) do make excellent ice packs after being chilled in the freezer.[89]

Attempting to quote Sir Winston Churchill:

Winston Churchill is famously quoted as saying, that those of us who do not study history are doomed to repeat it’s mistakes, is just as true now as it was when he enunciated it during the second world war.[90]

Iain Hall on the McMuffin

Mark the fact of the matter is that before 1972 no body did think of doing this and it is on a Muffin not a roll :) You elitist lefties now if it had some quaint ethnic origin (focarccia anyone?) you lot would be singing it’s praises, and given the gentleman was an American from California he was of course not eligible for a knighthood.[91]

Iain Hall having a whinge about this page

Lets be honest here shall we? This article is full of bullshit and lies about Iain Hall... So who is it that gets to judge what it is that constitutes 'vandalism' on this site? And what is the point of allowing anyone to edit this page if they are banned whenever they do so?[92]

Iain Hall on knowing very well how much:

We all know very well how much hatred and contempt that the left have for the Jews in general[93]

Cultural references[edit]

Iain Hall has been the subject of film-making, literature, poetry and song. Among the musical numbers penned about Iain Hall are "Stalker", "Condom Full of Wind" (a parody of Elton John's "Candle in the Wind"), "The Ocean View Hillbilly" and "Born to Blog":


   
 
"In the day I sweat it out on my blogs

At a farm at the back of Mount Mee

At night I tinker with Noddy Cars

Home-built suicide machines...

Built from Meccano, bits of iron, old pine

A washing machine motor

A hundred yards of fishing line

Whoa! Having no job is just a bitter pill

Can't decide between Oprah or Doctor Phil

So on the Internet I'll log

'Cause beards like us

Baby we were born to blog!"
 


 
 

—Bruce Stringbean

See Also[edit]

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