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Idaho

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U.S. map depicting Idaho's EXACT location.
Aryan Nation headquarters, Idaho's most popular tourist attraction.
Nuff Said
All children in Idaho are required to know how to count to potato.
Even Jewgle agrees.

Home state of fictional faggot Napoleon Dynamite, and real faggot Larry Craig, Idaho claims it is famous for its fine potato fields and other rural niceties. In fact, Idaho is a barren wasteland full of Mormons, F.F.A. members, Nazis, and pedophiles. Most Idaho residents have never even seen a real Idaho potato as they're all shipped out of state. Like Napoleon Dynamite, Idahoans boast of another "claim to fame" that most normal people would be deeply ashamed of, that being the origin of its name.

Note that you should be cautious about bringing up potatoes when speaking to people from Idaho. A lot of Idahoans are actually militant apotatheists and will shoot you in the balls with their hunting rifles for bringing up anything to do with the tubers.

Other than being acknowledged as the place that holds the record for the so-called "world famous potatoes", Idaho remains one of the many western states in America that practically no one gives a shit about. It is basically a chunk full of land with never-ending nothingness and boredom, along with a couple of crappy cities, gun-loving yuppies and trailer-park dwellers.

Contents

History and a bit of background

As the Indians that roamed the land never found it interesting enough to name themselves, some batshit crazy white asshole (mistaking the area for something worthwhile that he could profit off of) simply made up the name "Idaho" and convinced the old, conservative white men that it actually meant something in the native tongue. Although he of course failed miserably in ever making a dime off the worthless land, the retards who later settled there couldn't think of anything better and decided to keep the fabricated name. Srsly.

Current Daily Life

Idaho is perhaps more famous for its shitty web pages. All web pages from Idaho or hosted in Idaho look like the refuse of geocities, since the state is roughly seven years behind the rest of the world in technology and social progress.

Idaho's urban metropolis, Boise, is actually a kewl place!! It is home to some swinging night clubs, mostly because the rest of the state is so goddamn boring that the local entertainment consists solely of STD Bingo. You can also go up to any random Mexicans on the street and have them sell ya' some weed! Boise also isn't so redneck. To make up for its long history of redneck faggotry, Idaho recently made a black person Miss Idaho. They have since gone back to Aryan chicks.

Unless you live in an urban area, your daily life will involve sniffing a lot of cow butts because everyone who doesn't live in the city owns at least a hundred cows or lives next to someone who does. Also, pretty much everyone listens to country music, which they play loudly on their stereos, unless they are Mexican, in which case they play Mexican music loudly on their stereos.

A little-known fact is that there used to be a giant lake in South-Western Idaho over 9000 years ago. Geologists don't know where it went, but a prevailing theory is the entire thing was made into a giant Jell-O and eaten by prehistoric Mormons.

Sadly, this article stands a chance of winning an award for "increasing awareness about Idaho.", as the Wikipedia page is damn nearly as boring as the state itself.

Potatoism

Idaho is also home to a lot of Potatoists. Potatoists worship the Great Potato right next to God and Jesus, and just about every holiday event starts with a pledge of allegiance to the Spud of Spuds, which goes like this:

O Spud of Russet, we honor thee
For gracing our feasts today
With yellow butter and pepper black
O tuber supreme, increase our waistlines
And feed us forevermore

Claims tuh Fame (Other than all that horseshit Idaho is actually famous for)

  • Though she ascended her slippery ice throne in Alaska, conservative malfunctioning mouthpiece Sarah Palin was apparently spawned in Sandpoint, Idaho. Thanks, Idaho! At least you gave us something funny to break up the racial tensions of Election '08.
  • Back in 19whocares, character-actor/Jew Ben Stein was appointed marshal of Sandpoint's winter carnival. He was so touched by this gesture (from a town eager to associate themselves with any minor celebrity who hadn't said "Nigger" a hundred times in front of millions of television viewers) he wrote one of those embarrassing boost pieces for Reader's Digest titled They Don't Hate Me in Sandpoint. This lapse on Idaho's part is easily explained since Stein released eXpelled! and revealed himself as the worst Jew since Hitler. (Jewish institutions have yet to do anything about Ben Stein, presumably because Simon Wiesenthal is fucking dead.)

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