Ignored

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Ignoring is the highly scientific process of not giving a fuck about someone or something. To ignore someone is to completely deprive them of any value in modern society, thus ensuring plenty of An Heros.

Attention Whores and Trolls[edit]

A recent study by the United States Centers for Disease Control revealed that, despite the widespread public belief, attention whores and trolls do not consume dog shit, used tampons, and spoiled milk to survive. Instead, it was found that they extract nutrition directly from messages posted on the internets telling them to STFU & GTFO.

Over 9000 subjects were selected for study over a 14-month period. For this project, a special algorithm was developed that could be installed on any forum server. Half of the test subjects would receive an automatic reply, poorly spelled, and typically in uppercase letters. The other half would be allowed to post, but would receive zero replies.

The results were as conclusive as they were horrific.

Troll Attention-Whore Reply Deprivation Syndrome[edit]

Your mom desperately trying to get the attention she needs.
Michael Vick, TARDS victim. Join the fight to save Mike

TARDS for short, subjects deprived of replies exhibited symptoms similar to your mom deprived of cock. Previously unknown to medical science, TARDS can have life-long effects. Symptoms include:

Persons who suffer from stage four TARDS can expect to survive only a few weeks after diagnosis. It is believed that as the disease progresses, atrophy of the lulz-detecting part of the brain causes a massive influx of anti-lulz. The subsequent bitching due to anti-lulz overdose causes even trained medical personnel to not give a shit about the subject's well-being. The complete lack of attention from anyone or anything results in E-Death.

Michael Vick[edit]

Main article: Michael Vick

Last Thursday, Michael Vick, an unwitting subject in the study, suffering severely from TARDS and genital herpes, made a desperate move to ensure his survival. Working through back doors and deepthroat like encounters with homosexual reporters in parking garages, he revealed to the world that he was, in fact, a NEGRO. The resulting drama should be enough attention to sustain him until doctors can find a cure.

Ignoring Attention Whores[edit]

The main goal of ignoring attention whores is to have a great laugh about it. However, ignoring an attention whore for too long can have many terrifying consequences to both you and innocent bystanders:

  • You can get stabbed.
  • You will be bitten immediately (If they can't get positive attention they try other varieties).
  • They will masturbate publicly with a wooden spoon.
  • They write terrible charges about you on twitter and/or facebook and other, lesser social media.
  • You can get beaten up if their father is a massive super-ninja Proofreader's note: super-ninjas are sperm donors, not fathers.

Ignored on Youtube[edit]

Weaboos, furries, your sister, vloggers and presidential candidates thrive on two things: Buckets of cum, and attention. Without it, they die.

Lonelygirl15[edit]

Case in point, Lonelygirl15. Even though the whole thing is MADE THE FUCK UP, it proves that if Anonymous pays attention to how to make people not pay attention to the attention people are getting, then attention for the attention-seeker will drop, and they die. Or something.

Ignored on Television[edit]

Firefly[edit]

YOU KILLED IT! I hate you. I HATE YOU!!!

On the internets, you may encounter fags who say that the turd of a show Firefly should still be on the air (yes, even in 2018). They should be shot on site. Firefly was ignored HARDCORE and got what it deserved. Its ratings were lower than that public access show on at 3am with that guy who shits in a coffee can. But just like that psycho in Fatal Attraction, it popped out of the bathtub of doom for one last gasp of air: Serenity: The Movie. Luckily your wife got the gun out of your bedroom and blew that bitch away.

See also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Ignored is part of a series on Dying Alone

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