- Web IRC
|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
— Ironholds suffering all the diseases that come from too much Wikipedia
Oliver Keyes✡ (going by the street handle "Ironholds"), is a notorious TOW vandal, disgraced Wikipedia sysop, and the pimp-daddy of Freenode, scoring every bitch that dares chat in his vicinity of e-masculinity. His lifetime dream of working for Wikimedia Foundation already being accomplished, he now spends his golden years unleashing anger in public IRC channels, and then having his rage elevated once he realizes people may remember his words and/or actions. Ironholds later deleted his userpage because of this article.
Ironholds ran for admin seven times before the community gave up and said yes in May 2011. It all came to an end in July 2013 when Keyes was desysopped after his faggotry was exposed during a humiliating ArbCom case which found that Keyes was guilty of "conduct unbecoming an administrator" and "bringing the project into disrepute". Despite this, he remained employed by the Wikimedia Foundation, the "charity" that runs Wikipedia and the other WMF wikis. On February 23, 2016, Keyes announced his departure from the Foundation, effective March 18, 2016... and nothing of value was lost.
Ironholds x Fluffernutter etc
At one point Ironholds shacked up with fellow TOW admin and known cougar Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea at her home address of 24 Foxhill Lane Ringwood, NJ while he was staying in the USA. He was quick to slip her some GHB, and began getting to work on her overweight ass. She being under the influence of multiple dissociatives, could not think her actions through properly and thus shared his exploits in the public #wikipedia-en channel. This was obviously a very good idea.
To further the hilarity, while she was in the UK and performing more sex acts at Ironholds' home (46 Love Lane Pinner, Middlesex) Fluffernutter was turned down a much needed ride to the airport by Ironholds because he simply had better things to do with his time than give a ride to the woman that just sucked your genitals.
This would not be the first time Ironholds's natural sex appeal to wikiskanks would manifest itself in awkward nerdsex. See below for a more complete list of his sexual conquests on Wikipedia IRC and at Wikimedia Foundation headquarters.
Don't Be a Dick
—Ironholds, on how to handle loud niggers
—Oliver Keyes, who was desysopped for "bringing the project into disrepute"
—Ironholds, displaying his hypocrisy
—Oliver Keyes, WMF employee admits to piracy in #wikipedia-en
[17:14] * tommorris wonders if we could tempt the really fucking perverted by offering a premium Jimmy Wales [[RealDoll]]. [17:14] * Panyd ([email protected]) Quit (Changing host) [17:14] * Panyd ([email protected]/Panyd) has joined #wikipedia-en [17:14] <_trollface_> still, a bobble head would be fun [17:14] <_trollface_> :P [17:15] <Ironholds> tommorris: we could have a Peter Damian one! [17:15] <Ironholds> as anatomically vacant as a ken doll [17:15] <tommorris> Ironholds: you have to pay extra for the shemale option [17:15] <Ironholds> "punching him in the face feels like punching the real thing!" [17:15] <tommorris> no, better yet, wire it up to a thread on Wikipedia Review. every time you punch it, it updates the post
08:38:32 <Ironholds> ...you've been talking to my ex, haven't you? ;p 08:39:16 * sonia neither confirms nor denies this. 08:40:00 <Ironholds> well, if you have, tell her she's a bitch and I hope she gets cat AIDS 08:41:16 <Ironholds> and if you have not, avoid her 08:41:24 <Ironholds> she's a despicable human being, and that's ME saying that 08:43:31 * sonia backs away slowly. 08:45:41 <Ironholds> sonia: what? 08:46:37 <Ironholds> sonia: we dated for five years, from the age of 15. High-school sweethearts, as it were. Then I found out she'd spent those five years cheating on me, lying to me, being jealous of my female friends without ever telling me anything, the whole kit and kaboodle. And I was the one left fucked up. I think I'm fairly justified to wish harm upon her. 08:46:47 <sonia> ...wow. 08:47:38 <Ironholds> and when I say "lying to me" 08:47:58 <Ironholds> I mean "when things went bad, she assured me that we'd try our best to fix stuff, then spent 5 months planning how to dump me without saying a word" 08:48:25 <Ironholds> it finally came to a head when we were out on a date one day and I went "things are getting better, right?" and she turned to me and went "yup. You know I'm still dumping you, right?"
—IP 18.104.22.168, totally not Ironholds' IP
During his recent Arbcom case, it was revealed that Ironholds has been vandalizing Wikipedia for years. By Ironholds forgetting to sign, Ironholds exposed his IP as 22.214.171.124. This edit at Simple English Wikipedia shows Ironholds abusing a Simple English user he does not like. Here, Ironholds vandalizes Ottava Rima's user talk page at the Meta wiki.
—Fr33kman's talk page at Simple Wikipedia.
For a complete list of Ironholds' vandalism and sockpuppetry, see this link.
Other sleazy shit Ironholds is known for
- Outed Law's sockpuppet, The undertow. This was widely seen by Wikipedians as a back stab
- His performance as a Community Liaison for VisualEditor aka Visual Editurd, was a disaster, with Keyes lashing out at Wikipedians who complained about the buggy extension.
- Keyes was an "analyst" for The Foundation, with some very interesting ideas about your privacy.
- Following in the footsteps of other warriors for social justice, Keyes now claims that all his IRC sexchats and generally being a jerk stems from his attempts at being edgy, a trait he claims to have outgrown. However, Keyes was recently booted from the "R" stats community for "shit-disturbing", to quote Duncan Murdoch, the leader of the "R" community. Keyes denies shit-stirring in posted to his blog, which didn't fool Murdoch, who apparently did his research on this particular "officious little creature":
—shit stirring, source
SJW in the streets, shitlord in the sheets
- In addition to the hilarious sexchat with Fluffernutter above, Keyes inspired Sue Gardner, then executive director of the Foundation, to let down her guard and say this of Ironholds and WMF board member Kat Walsh (Mindspillage):
—#wikimedia-office, an informal, jokey exchange on an ephemeral medium
- When Ironholds was being desysopped, Sue said on July 29, 2013 "I also don't think it's useful to quote back sections of IRC dialogue. It's an ephemeral medium" and called it an "informal jokey exchange". A year and a half later, on December 5, 2014 when writing an op-ed for The Los Angeles Times on why there are no women in tech, she dredged up five year old emails from the brogrammers at Uber, conveniently omitting her own sexual harassment of at least two employees as seen above.
- He makes Molly White "squee" repeatedly
That "serial killer" Look
That "I suck a lot of cocks" Look
- lol irony
- The Cavalry - Another self-absorbed cunt
- AmericanDad86 - Another self-absorbed cunt
- hipcrime - Who he hates
- The Wikipedia Jews
- The article he wrote about himself
- IRC shenanigans at The Wikipedia Review
- Ironholds is a backstabber
- Okeyes (WMF), for Wikimedia Foundation shit
- Buy my textbooks for me kthx.
- Ironholds' as Mentifisto at Wikipedia Review. This is Ironholds' idea of "trolling".
- His blog (copy and paste the link if it doesn't work)
- Old media takes notice of Keyes' behavior
- Examiner article on Keyes
- More on Karen Ingraffea Brown, aka Fluffernutter
- Rejected by the "R" community
- Waah the Foundation doesn't give me enough money!
- "I quit!"
- His shitty poetry at DeviantArt
- First failed RfA as O Keyes
- Second failed RfA
- Third failed RfA, this time as Ironholds
- Fourth failed RfA
- Fifth failed RfA
- Sixth failed RfA
- Seventh time, GREAT SUCCESS!
- Ironholds v Kiefer.Wolfowitz ArbCom case, in which Ironholds is stripped of sysop status after threatening to set another editor on fire
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