Jacqui Smith

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
What? This article needs moar information, links, and pictures - especially Rule 34..
You can help by adding moar information, links, and pictures - especially Rule 34..
Jacqui Smith, showing how big a butt plug would have to be for the depiction of its insertion to pass as 'extreme porn'.

'Wacqui' Jacqui Smith, aka Jacqui Spliff, entered parliament on an affirmative action list and quickly became a minister of the United Kingdom and Labour party Whip in the government of her fellow freedom-hater, Tony Bliar. Bliar's successor Gordon Brown stepped up the freedom-hating vibe by further elevating this talentless thing to Home Secretary, one of the big three positions.

She claimed some porn on her expense account, someone checked and found it, and major fail was under way for Jacqui. Gordon Brown fired the cunt before she had the chance to become a really good ED article.

A total cow to start with, one theory is that the more powerful she got, the more her husband, Richard Timney, got impotent at the sight of her smug and bug-ugly face, so he took to wrapping her head in a paper bag and fucking her while watching extreme porn; maybe that isn't true and he was just into doing the five-knuckle shuffle over gay porn and they are really just beards for each other.

Student days[edit]

From some BBS.

Days of whine and roses,
pretentiously spelt name,
could Jacqui have ever,
been a human being?

Nutty and Illegal: Domestic Project Echelon[edit]

File:Wanted gbrown jsmith.jpg
You can help! Track down these Neo-Marxists and expose the lies behind their totalitarian 'social democratic' policies.

Wacqui Jacqui's biggest and most expensive pet project is an illegal scheme to spy on every one of her fellow subjects of Her Majesty Elizabeth II. The idea is to record every Internet transaction and phone call made within the UK in a gargantuan database. The government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland in general (and Wacqui Jacqui in particular) shows its absolute contempt for the people of Great Britain and Northern Ireland by not even bothering to do it legally. That's the advanced democracy of today for you.

Gary McKinnon[edit]

Goes without saying that Wacqui Jacqui Smith (inveterate bully) is the person most responsible for Gary McKinnon's ill treatment. The bitch would go to any lengths for the rights of a real terrorist, as long as the terrorist has the passport but isn't really a britfag. She's made the utmost efforts to have this harmless and intelligent UFO fan extradited to a lifetime of boredom and probable buttrape in a US maximum-security prison. Understandably, Gary does not want this.

Wacqui Jacqui Makes Extreme Porn Lawls[edit]

Read about them.

TV Academics[edit]

No, the TV here doesn't mean transvestite, it means television; like Half-black Jesus, whose daddy juss squirted and ran trying to recruit this TV prick as Surgeon-General of the USA, Wacqui Jacqui likes to recruit media "psychologists" as fake experts who will back up her malicious schemes.

Busted: Extreme Porn on Expense Account[edit]

Oi guvnah, I din't nevar know that was banned by the wifey. We watched it, y'know. With a bag on her head an' all, like y'do.

Wacqui Jacqui was arrogant enough to claim her video download expenses as part of her parliamentary communications expenses. Someone checked, and found five downloaded videos, two were extreme porn. The other three were Oceans 13 (OMG twice!!1!) and Surf's up! Dear me, what a connoisseur.

Everyone is wondering just what the two extreme porn titles were. The Daily Telegraph has reason to believe it was gay flick Raw Meat 3 and By Special Request, which is just about impossible to find or doesn't exist and is probably the title of some kind of 'Best of' or favourites programme.

Fired[edit]

Last Thursday, Gordon Brown fired her. Supposedly, this was due to her expenses claims for pron and for using expenses to claim £116,000 to buy her sister a house, although it is just as likely that even Gordon Brown realised she was completely fucktarded and making his government look even worse than it already is.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Jacqui Smith
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCapital Gazette ShootingCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHeather LindGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranJim JordanMarijuana AddictionMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismRoseanne BarrShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerMo BrooksG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCruzCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFeinsteinFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordFrankenGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTraficant, JimTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyPlastic StrawsRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceAugust 6 & 9 1945UpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

Jacqui Smith
is part of a series on
Churchill Bulldog.jpg
The British
Our Rich Cultural Heritage [-+]
The United Kingdom [-+]