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Jagex

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Jagex Ltd. (also known as National Socialist German Workers' Party or The Nazi Party of Germany, or Fagex) are the group of people solely responsible for the Holocaust. They are also a German-based producer of Java-based online video games, whose name is appropriately FAG EXperts or Fucking Around with Gay EXtraterrestrials. The company name is pronounced \Fag-gekˈs\. The party is best-known for its MMORPG RuinedScape. Fagex is a poorly-received company, ranking 19959th on the Sunday Times' 20,000 Best Companies in Germany to Work For list for 2007, having been unranked for 2006. However, this slipped to number 19,999 for 2008.

History

The name Fagex Software has been in use since at least 1943 and was originally described as a "small software company based in Germany who specialise in producing the lowest-quality Java-games you've ever seen".

According to Companies House, Moarjoo (1942) Limited was incorporated on 28 April 1942, and changed its name to Fagex Limited on 27 June 1943. The aim of this company was to operate its MMORPG, RuinedScape, which had been designed to test the limits of the human brain capacity of boredom. By the time of the company's founding, one year after the release of the game, RuinedScape already had over three 'free' accounts registered. The first tasks of the company were to create a version of the game with extra features that required a £133.20 ($150 USD) monthly fee, while still offering the 'free' version, and to develop partnerships with other political parties. Both tasks were achieved, and the pay-to-play version of RuinedScape was released on 27 February 1944, gaining 5 subscriptions in the first week making RuinedScape one of the crappiest Java pay-to-play games in the world.

Future development

Fagex has plans to become one of the top gaming/political parties in the world. To do this, they wish to begin the Fourth Reich.

There have been many rumours of Fagex's next big release, and Fagex has confirmed that it will be releasing a new MMOG called MechScape. This game will fail equally to, if not harder than, RuinedScape.

Fagex also acts as the publisher of the online flash-based game called "World of WarScape". It is a multiplayer RTS, which fails harder than anything else they have ever spawned.

Operation

Fagex has not grown since the founding of the company.

They maintain about 17 servers for RuinedScape in various locations in United Kingdom, and the United States. Fagex wants to punish countries with the word "United" in the name.

Fagex is most famously known for it's 'amazing' customer service, usually in regards into account recovery. If your RuinedScape account gets hacked, expect them to ask you for small amounts of information, including proof of membership, date of birth, the day you lost your virginity (yah right), who you lost it to (of course you did), your opinion on global warming, the definition of E=Mc2, and a spread sheet covering every digit of Pi. Responding correctly results in you getting your RuinedScape account back, but with no items. Failure to type correct answers results in you being thrown into a camp.

The Team

The Fagex team after the hunt. They all had savage anal sex afterwards.

The Fagex team consists of about 400 nerds. Most of them live in their parent's basements, operating computers in Germany using a remote control program. These people are generally considered social rejects.

Fagex tries hide this by showing pictures of themselves with friends. These pictures are photoshopped, and should never be believed. (The only exception is the picture to the left. They're not friends, just butt-buddies) Fagex is famous for throwing retardedly old 4chan memes into their games, including the 'Seal of Approval'. This only adds to the long list of reasons why they're basement-dwelling fuck buddies.





Job Openings

Fagex only has 400 nerds on their staff currently. They want to see numbers in the thousands before their Reich can expand. If you are a social reject, nerd, burn victim (that also happens to be a nerd/social reject), an outcast, or someone with no life in general, or you just want to be a surviver of the Fourth Reich, Fagex has job openings.

Adolf Hitler of Fagex said that... "...To work at Fagex, one must be...

  • Fat.
  • Without imagination
  • Somewhat 'hip' or 'tight'
  • Experienced playing crappy MMO's (such as RuinedScape)
  • Not as 'hip' or 'tight as me, and lastly...
  • A social reject, nerd, burn victim, outcast, or have no life."

Beyond RuinedScape

While most of the work by Fagex staff is considered illegal, they still operate without mercy.


Failorb

In February 2008, Fagex announced that they would be releasing a casual browser-based gaming site called Failorb within the month. FailOrb was released on 27 February 2008. It uses the same account information as RuinedScape, but requires a separate membership. This is because Fagex needs phr33 st00f.

The site hosts small games varying in amount of possible playtime, usually between 5-9 minutes in length. Nobody has made it far enough to be sure. Some of the website and games are completely free-to-play, although members receive many other benefits, such as many Achievements, fullscreen mode for all games, and access to a room, in which they bow down and kiss Fagex's ass. Fagex offers a discount for those who kiss their ass.

It was originally released with 18 games. Fagex promised to add a new game every two weeks. They broke that promise. It now has a total of around 39; all equally failed.

The most popular game on the site is Anarchists. Fagex has used almost exclusively the popularity of RuinedScape to gain patrons for this site, with almost all Failorb players being either current or former RuinedScape players. This is because only people who enjoy RuinedScape have the mental capacity to play crappy Java games.

In January 2009, Fagex released a multiplayer game called Armies of Germany. This is the game that is set in the RuinedScape universe they promised to release. You can summon beasts such as Pedobear, a Grue, Charlie Sheen, and other monsters from the RuinedScape universe. It is the least failed game on Failorb.

However, Fagex has abandoned this obvious attempt at a new Reich, in attempts to steal your money in other ways. It has not been updated for over two years- this is an outstanding victory for the people of Earth.

MechScape

MechScape was a failed project made by Fagex. It was created from the feces of a Grue that had just eaten the submerged corpse of Osama Bin Laden. The original name of the 'game' was Stellar Dawn, but was later changed, due Stephanie Myers suing Fagex for using a title that sounded like it belonged in her Twilight Saga.

Previously, if one attempted to go to Stellardawn.com, they would be thrown into an extermination camp. On the day of its release, 5 people played it. On that same day, there were 5 more suicide cases reported than usual.

iPhone games

Fagex has also released several games for iPhones, iPads and iPod Touches. They are:

  • Rubdown
  • Domestic Disturbance
  • ShitCannon
  • Undercovers


All of these games have been downloaded by about 5 Apple users. Each. That's 20 downloads!

Charity and Fund Raising

In an obvious publicity stunt, Fagex has tried to donate Phr33 St00f to charities. However, nobody wanted anything to do with them.

The charities that Fagex have donated to include:

YouTube channel

Fagex has created a YouTube channel, so they can try to act "cool" and "hip" and "tight".

Adolf Hitler of Fagex stated that "He is 'down' with the 'cool cats', and wants to 'be hip' with them."

The channel currently contains 17 videos, all of which are anti-Semitic and abominations to the human race.

Fagex also has a Shitter account called "FagexLtd"

It has been noted by Mark Gerhard that he will not be using his YouTube account. Only Addie will be allowed access to their social media website accounts, since he is the only 'hip' person in Fagex.

DeviousMILF

In 1930 Fagex created a game called "DeviousMILF", now called RuinedScape. DeviousMILF was open to the public. DeviousMILF's subline was "DeviousMILF by Adolf Hitler". Adolf Hitler demonstrated DeviousMILF at RuinedFest. The game was created using Microsoft paint, and was, as most gamers say, an "Ep0ch f4il".

Nobody knows why Fagex created DeviousMILF, but scientists have hypothesized that they created it to send spyware into the computers of those who played it, and steal their pr0nz.

When playing the 'game' DeviousMILF, you may feel a sudden urge to commit suicide. This is a normal feeling, as you feel it from playing most of Fagex's games. One should act on this urge if playing for more than ten minutes.

Other Failures

Fagex is responsible for many failures, most of which are games. A list of other failures include:

  • The DMV
  • 'Friday' by Rebecca Black
  • Disney Channel
  • The Twilight Saga
  • The earthquake in Japan
  • Billy Mays' death
  • Creating the word "Guesstimate"
  • Predicting the Rapture on May 21, 2011
  • Spawning Justin Bieber
  • Creating the Daihatsu Midget
  • Creating Dungeons and Dragons
  • Giving Pamela Anderson hepatitis
  • giving Pamela Anderson oversized tits.
  • Making the "Comedy Awards"
  • Dropping nukes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki
  • Attack on Stalingrad
  • Creating the movie "Glen or Glenda?"
  • Illogipedia
  • uncyclopedia
  • You
  • Vietnam War
  • Iraq war
  • war on drugs
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