Jan Huokko

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Not gay at all.

Jan Huokko is a Swedish professional hockey player. Being a professional hockey player, Jan is a perfect example of rugged masculinity. In the past year or so, Jan divorced his wife and started to date a 17-year old girl despite the fact that he is in his early 30s. The age of consent is 16 15 over 9000 in Sweden, so Jan was in the clear, but this is where our story gets interesting.

How to make your girlfriend hot for you[edit]

Pegging is all the rage amongst seventeen year old girls.

Being considerably older than his hawt new girlfriend, and being totally straight, Jan had to prove he could keep up with her, and so decided to make a video for her on his cell phone and send it to her. However, instead of recording a short sweet greeting and sending it to her, he decided to go another route.

Enter Jan and his magical white dildo. Unfortunately for Jan, like all such similarly well-intended messages, his movie fell into the wrong hands when his cellphone was stolen his ex-wife discovered it on his cellphone. Like a finely brewed coffee, the movie began to percolate through the internet. The hilarious details of what happened in the movie began to leak out as the movie was downloaded off of bittorrent, most notably and obviously on The Pirate Bay. As very few of us here at ED understand Swedish, perhaps the best description of this loving scene falls to someone who actually understands Swedish:


   
 
He played with the butplug all alone and sent the video to a 17-year old GF after divorcing his wife. In the video he fucks himself, sucks on it and screams "ohh fuck me fuck me" which is a bit odd when considering he is alone. Real dudes doesn't scream "fuck me" if he ain't gay.
 

 
 

—Some Swede

However, in his movie, Jan also decided to take it a little bit further. Although it is difficult to tell through grainy cell phone pictures, Jan apparently included an homage to 2girls1cup in his movie by recycling his lutefisk, meatballs and lingonberry sauce, or whatever the hell else Swedes eat. This has caused a lollercaust in everyone who has seen the movie.

The reaction[edit]

These dongs were all donated to local charities.

When the details of a sex video first appeared back in June, Jan's team, Leksand, came out with the standard line that it was a private matter between one of their players, and that they would not be commenting on the issue. That was, however, before more details leaked out and before the debacle that occurred in late October, 2008.

Huokko was playing his first game against his old team. In order to make him feel more at home, fans unveiled a huge banner with a giant inflatable cock and balls sticking out of it emblazoned with the words "Bend Over Bitch". Fans also let loose with a colorful rainbow assortment of dongs in memory of Jan's epic deeds.

Leksand has since come out and stated that because they don't believe in liberal use of dongs and coprophilia that they might consider firing or trading Huokko.

GALLERY OF MOAR[edit]

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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