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Jared Milton

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Recent image of Malocco (Not pictured: Dildo in anus)

Pronshi Malocco (a.k.a. Jared Milton or Jeffery Sparon) is a meta-troll and likely 4chan user who more or less trolled /b/ by stealing Eric Douglas' gimmick of defending known faggot Justin Bieber, and later whiteknighting Lady Gaga (Eric in turn had stole the idea from JoshU2uber). Unlike Douglas however, he was able to portray a more deeply emotional character, and thus despite the obvious trolling was deemed legit by hundreds of clueless newfags. His extra flamboyance also gave out the obvious troll fag, leading observers to believe his "harassers" were mentally challenged middle-schoolers. Essentially, this level of trolling could be defined as attention whoring due to the fact that nothing entertaining is really going on. To top it off, Milton's fake voice seems to shift in every video, leaving the question "seriously, how do these retards fall for this bullshit?" But then again, Autism spectrum seems to have no limits.

The Video

Genesis

In the March of 2011, Jared uploaded a video stating that he was starting a protest (he makes it very clear at this point that it is not a "how you say, 'war'") against the amount of hate that Justin Bieber had been rightfully receiving, noting that a contributing factor of this is the hate from Eric Douglace in this first video who was "nothing but a troll".



It should also be noted that he says "I'm not going to hack, because I don't know how to." This is also the first reference his website idea, originally saying it was going a rallying point for supporters of the protest.

The Second Video

On the fifth of July 2011, Jared uploaded his second video, where he addresses the "amount of hate" that he has been receiving. He also states that he should not have received any hate for his original protest, as he puts it "I did absolutely nuffin wrong, I didn't threaten or offend anyone, and that stops right now."



He says that he has "recently been in contact with the CIA, FBI and Secret Services, all throughout Europe, Asia, America and Australia" and that his website will now have the purpose of displaying the complete dox of any of his haters, which he claimed would be up and running eight to nine weeks from when the original video was uploaded. Along with that obviously false bullshit, he also said that everyone who disliked his video would be hacked by him, his dad, and his friends, contracting what he said in his first video, that he didn't know how to. While his claims were obviously made up, it is plausible that this video was posted in a retarded attempt to get anons to fuck off rather than being true trollbait.

"MY DAD WILL HACK YOU"

A few weeks later, Jared uploaded a video threatening the trolls with hacks, courtesy of his dad, and digging himself even deeper into a world of shit.



Ever since, he has been constantly flooded with prank calls, death threats, and accusations of being inbred by /b/tards about his age and mental capacity.

The Adventures of Jared in Tinychat

LEAVE ME ALONE


Later taking some tips from Jessi Slaughter, Jared demanded all trolling to cease and for him to just be left alone. Receiving the reaction he was looking for, thousands of devastating comments were left by the basement dwellers of /b/, along the lines of "i troll u", "ur fat", and "shut up ur dum".

Jared "Leaves Youtube"

When Jared finally figured out that the only way to get the trolls to leave him alone was to close down his youtube account, he released a video in which he says that he is leaving his account so he can create videos "about singing and dancing" under a different name "so people can't find it" and they "won't know it's Jared".


This would suggest that up until this point and until he was rediscovered on youtube, he was not in fact a meta-troll, as a true meta-troll would keep posting videos until either he was no longer getting attention or until his router was smashed by a sledge hammer.

Jared Milton...Wins?

Jared later submitted an entry for the ARK challenge, as part of another attention-gathering ploy. While that alone caused more trolls-in-training to brag about their "successes" by posting comments and thinking to themselves "omg I really hope he reads this, he'll get so mad", he was also later allowed to expand upon it after it was flagged down. A mirror popped up and, whether it was his or not, he encouraged his fans not to vote for it, which in turn caused the legions of retards to pour in votes for the little chubby troll. Nice going 4chan.


   
 
Vote for my video, suckers
 

 
 

—A translated summary of this video

He is still posting the link on his twitter.

His First Hit Single

Sometime in June 2012, Jared decided to make a music channel known as TGAppleSauce (http://www.youtube.com/user/TGAppleSauce?feature=watch) and created his first hit single named "Super Cool". Eventually, some guy on Facebook named "Satan" (http://www.facebook.com/LaVeyPls) became one of the first people to discover the video, and coursed lulz towards the comment section via telling his large fanbase about it. Some people think he is just trolling, but at times like these, we just sometimes never know if he is serious. Take note: Not even his use of autotune can save this pile of shit.
WARNING: YOUR EYES AND EARS WILL BLEED IF YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO WATCH THIS VIDEO.

OMG JARED IS NOT A TROLL!!!1!!


Jared decided to do an interview with Trollsnews and was of course talking about how he is trying to help educate the internets who are apparently very politically incorrect and that it is his job to guide the internet in the right direction. He also believes he was very clever to use a different name and claims he is not a retarded fucking idiot like the rest of the internet. He is also asked about his accent in which Jared responded saying that he perfers an English accent because it makes him appear smarter. In which after that he goes on about how he is intelligent, knows everything, and is politically correct.

Jared reveals the blatantly obvious


After a very long hiatus, with Jared's retarded trolls growing confused as to what to do with their pathetic lives, Jared finally revealed his true identity as a troll. This should have been obvious and of course his trolls responded with "I KNEW IT!!!11!!1" even though they actually shat bricks and probably contemplated suicide. This entire Jared troll as a whole just shows how fucked the human race is.

Known Relatives

  • Lisa Milton, little sister whom Jared wants to kill because she's a Bieber-hater.
YouTube Favicon.png Lisa's Youtube account (ForThaLulsTv) STATUS - OPEN.

His sister claims that he does not live in Wigan, and that they live in the US. This came from Jared's "like page" that his sister seems to have occupied, as well as his Twitter.

  • Laurie L. Milton, mother who whores herself to Jared and allows him to beat up his poor little sister. On their home answering machine, she claims not to be connected to Jeffery Sparon, which is a lie as big as her cooch. She works as a secretary at Crestmont Elementary School in Roseville, California. You can call her work number at (916)771-1750 extension 301
  • Mark A. Milton, Jared's dad, ([email protected]) claims that he works for Microsoft which is strange because wouldn't he have a Hotmail/Live email?

Gallery

Known troll's who tried to stop him

Dox

See Also:

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Featured article January 16th and 17th, 2012
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