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|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
|This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Do not mix!
|Born:||December 20th 1998|
|Education:||Mexicunt Bastard Skool|
|Occupation:||Drawing shitty pictures|
|Aliases:||Spearchucker, Pedophile, Pervert, Spic, Illegal Immigrant, Anti-Nigger Racist, Homophobe, Faggot In Denial, Retard, Crack Ship Spammer, Smelly Dumb Beaner Scum, Mexicunt Weeaboo, Coon, Banana War Fighter, Javier-Delirious, Asspie, CP Artist, Untermensch Chimpanzee|
Javi Suzumiya (AKA: Javier) is a Mexican pedophile, weeaboo, homophobe and closet-faggot that has become infamous after drawing tons of The Loud House Rule 34, ESPECIALLY of that ship, Samcoln which is a terrible ship as Sam is 15 years old and Lincoln is only 11. JaviSuzumiya specializes in creating WTF-worthy pictures full of child porn and his favorite fetish of all time, tongues sticking out. Because DeviantArt bans child porn, Javier has choice but to upload his shitty art on Pixiv, where you can find an emporium of the most disturbing child porn in the far reaches of teh intranetz. Not to mention all the tongues sticking out, cum and drool. JaviSuzumiya, also better said as Javicunt Shitzumiya is an up-and-coming lolcow and porn artist, though he may focus on ragebait, just like Shadman, Evalion and Nicole Arbour.
It should be known that Javi is a bastard hybrid of a Spaniard and his primitive spearchucker wives, well he is the descendant of many of these unions as well as having a few Negro ancestors. Because of hiding in his mom's basement all day long while browsing CP, he is likely to be morbidly obese and caked in several layers of oil, grease and whatever comes of a Mexican nigger; and having dozens of pus-filled acne and blackheads. Disgusting! Javi Shitzumi- I MEAN Javier Martinez Rodrigo Gonzalez Sanchez teh Third is a sick fuck, but he is a filthy pedophile who masturbates 3 times a day to children having orgies, using anal lube and sticking multiple dildos up their asses.
Regardless of his "charming" and "satirical" personality, he is a pedophile, and you guys all know that a leopard never changes its spots, except that this very leopard is not a leopard and is a spearchucking animal covered in acne supervolcanos which will NEVER EVER GO AWAY.
In your truly shitty rollercoaster of emotions you are feeling right now, take a step back, relax and try to think of all the good things that has happened today. Hopefully you will feel better after searching up this truly, nauseatingly sick fuck unless your Javier, and you don't even need to listen to my motherfucking advice cause' you are a dirty pedophile. You will go to hell you fat disgusting failure!!!
Javier makes really shitty art using the software ArtRage Lite and as a troll and pedophile, he loves using the software to create ridiculous WTF-worthy pictures that increase your suicide levels by OVER 9000! As a troll who loves seeing little prepubescent boys fucking teenage bitches, he created an emporium of porn of Lincoln x Sam, involving them fucking like rabbits in the most horrifying of ways in the most awkward of locations.
- 1 Happy Birthday Javier!
- 2 Who is Javi (Javier)!?
- 3 The Samcoln House AU
- 4 The Art of JaviSuzumiya
- 5 Javi fails at satire
- 6 Pasture Cumtime Porn Comic
- 7 Lincoln x Casagrande Porn Comic
- 8 TLH Thicc Series Porn Comic
- 9 Fan Video
- 10 Brutally true facts
- 11 Javier's newest OC!
- 12 The Fanfictions of Javier Shitzumiya
- 13 See Also
- 14 External Links
Happy Birthday Javier!
Who is Javi (Javier)!?
—payton009, a DeviantArt loser mocking Javi Shitzumiya
JaviSuzumiya is a lolcow on DeviantArt who is infamous for spamming his horrible ships such as Linka x Boy Lynn, Lincoln x Sam and Luna x Sam’s Brother, Simon. He started his DeviantArt career by making badly colored pictures of Boy Lynn fucking Linka in the ass, and its freaking ugly. He also drew some Gravity Falls and drew TomStar ship fanarts. No matter how "charming" or "intelligent" he is, he is a pedophile who must be avoided and bullied at all costs!
Javier shot out of his mother's vagina on December 20th, 1998 in a rat-infested Tijuana shithole flooded with rapists and drug smugglers. She decided against aborting him in hopes he'd be a successful adult, but she was wrong when she discovered his obsession with The Loud House, pedophilic antics and female teens fucking little boys. This day will live in infamy.
Javier was diagnosed with Ass Burgers at an early age. Because of exposure to the Asplergia-Mushroom Cloud fallout that spread all over the world and caused a global plague of autism, he became autistic (its very rare for subhuman apes to become autistic, but its possible and they are usually 10 times worse than an autistic human). This led to his extremely unhealthy obsession with the Electric Jew and Digital Nip, turning him into a pedophilic weeaboo with OVER 9000 fetishes. Javi has zero social skills, which is why he always hides behind is computer and creates shitty porn, just like a basement dweller.
At the tender age of 10, Javier was brutally gang-raped by a bunch of teenage bitches. As a result he has turned into a psychotic fetishist who fantasizes about little kids having harems of big booty older women and MILFs. The bitches probably regretted their decision as they have inadvertently created a small, but fast-growing shitstain that will forever plague the internet for years to come.
As Javier grew older, his sexuality begun to grow at an exponential rate and he began to dress like a little faggot boy and masturbate to Japanese Hentai while his fetishes for incest, surprise sex and dildo-pegging grew. His morbid corpulence increased from a lack of exercise and spending all day browsing Rule 34 of cartoons, this also made his formerly shit-colored skin turn pasty and disgusting from a lack of sunlight.
Now he has become 18 and is now fucking illegal. Because he can draw his own porn now, he has become a full-time porn artist funded by many other basement-dwelling perverts and the socially retarded on Patreon (e-begging). Don't donate to him, and the less he gets, the better. Do your part in keeping a minor shitstain of the Internet from turning into a major disgusting one who would plague it with forced memes such as "MUH SAMCOLN" and "MUH LINA LOUD". Because of Javi's slowly increasing infamy, he has amassed a legion of fantards such as ReedAhmad, Julex93, X3Corez, Patanu, MegaD3, SonicGMI-22, Bart-Toons, Yeguscus, Danieljan123, TMNTFAN85 and ThatGuyMexican who will spam haters with every bizzare insult they can think off while drawing crappy Samcoln and Lina Loud fanart. No one knows how a border-hopping, burrito-eating, pedophilic, pale shit-skinned, Mexican, virgin, sombero-wearing, racist, homophobic, Faggot In Denial, pig-dog Untermensch Chimpanzee got so much retarded watchers, but this shitstain is growing fast, and these Tumblrfags better start destroying him, form Anti-JaviSuzumiya groups and go all Zamii070 on him, as he is a homophobe and a closet-faggot.
The Samcoln House AU
The defining feature of Javier Suzumiya is his own Loud House AU, where Sam Sharp falls in love with Lincoln and dumps Luna. Also, Sam is apparently a pedophile as pedophiles must be at least 4 years older than their waifu or husbando. In this shitty AU, Lincoln and Sam have their baby, Lina Loud after Sam raped Lincoln when she was 16 to 17 while Lincoln was 12 and alot of shitty stuff happened. Like every other bad fanfiction, there are a shitton of plotholes, as in 1 story, Luna falls in love with Sam's brother, Simon Sharp; while in another story, she gets all depressed and- starts taking steroids? No wait, she became fucking depressed but she gets over being forever alone and becomes Lina's band admin. Either way, it is near-impossible to understand a single thing in the Javier Hijinks and Shit Trilogy/Lincoln Loud's Love Quest/Sam the Pedophile/Lina and Nathan Start Dating/Luna Takes Steroids/Luna Commits Suicide/The Problem With 2 Rocker Gals/Adventures in Javiville and Javi Javi Suzumiya Club. According to Javier from his Tumblr account, Lily Loud is in love with Carlitos Casagrande and she is also a furry. Luan and Maggie are married and have a daughter, Lois Loud; Lois, Lily and Carlitos are also part of Lina's stupid gang.
The house Lincoln and Sam bought is literally the same as the Spokes's family home, showing how much of a lazy Mexican fuck JaviSuzumiya is.
JaviSuzumiya's Loud House OC is Lina Loud, better known as Lake Angel, Retard, Loser, Love Child, Product of pedophilia, WTF, LOLWUT, Freakazoid, Not Lit At All, Fucking Bullshit, Never happened, Helena Whiteheart's lover, Loud Idiotic Nauseating Asshole Lipid-ridden Orgasmic Ugly Diseased FREAK and Impossible crack ship creature. However, we do not have to use any of these words for a creature made out of paedophilic love as the mere presence of her would be extremely offensive to most.
Lina is a very gay and stuuuupid idiot and not only is she retarded and horrible at every instrument available, she enjoys copious amounts of buttsecks with her longtime waifu, Helena Whiteheart, who did not bully her, but raped and molested her in the high school boy's locker room. She also has a pet white wold cub she rescued from a circus whom she has sex with everyday as animal knots turn her on. Other than the fact that she has utterly no real personality, she is made of pedophilic love.
Lina's boyfriend is a guy called called Nathan Bennett, a guy that no one gives a flying fuck about. Nathan is also lazily created, and he too has no real personality. He is the offspring of Luna's other band members, George and Ruth (WHAT IS THE LEGAL AGE IN THIS AU!?!?), which is just plain retarded. But what do you expect when a fat, Mexican aspie makes shitty fanfics about a crappy kids' cartoon.
The Art of JaviSuzumiya
When Javier-Delirious (courtesy of request spammer BlueSonicMania) has to make art for you after you gave him some Jewgolds, if it is child porn, it will always be loli/shota or both and the characters will ALWAYS have the same creepy retarded stare and this freak gets to decide whether their tongues stick out or not.
He tried posting how he collects his hate comments as "Trophies", but it just led to a shitstorm. Despite Javier's retarded flamboyance, his enemies have a point and have actual lives, unlike Javier and his fellow weeaboo pedophile fantards. The shitstorm is below.
JaviSuzumiya: You know, since i started shipping Lincoln and Sam just for fun, there hasn’t been a single day in which i didn’t receive a comment of this kind from Suna fans. That’s why i started collecting them. And now i call them “trophies”. There are a lot more but i just selected the most epic ones. This drawing is dedicated to all those people who expressed their “affection” for my Samcoln art. This is what happens when you take a fictional ship too seriously. Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😛 #theloudhouse #loudhouse #lincolnloud #samsharp #samcoln #lunaloud #suna #drawing #fanart #myart #artwork #digitalart #digitaldrawing #cartoon #nickelodeon Emmerson Edwards: I don’t even watch the show but the way you condone sex with a 12 and 16 year old is so fucking disgusting, and same with your incest shipping. THIS IS A CHILDS SHOW. And now you do this with it? # peaches stan: @javisuzumiya so your saying child porn isn’t illegal where you live? I’m pretty sure it’s illegal almost everywhere. # peaches stan: I DO have a life. Javi needs to be called out for all the bullshit he’s fucking done. This is the internet. People are aloud to share their opinions dumbass. btw, this is the owner of javi flops.. JaviSuzumiya: @unskinnyspiracy (# peaches stan) Making drawings are not illegal where i live. send flawps: The point of flop accounts are to call out someone for doing shitty things or downright ILLEGAL things. What javi is doing is illegal. He obviously DOES support real life incest and pedophilia if he’s drawing it in the first place. You’re the one acting the real immature dude. Why’d you even bring self harm and suicide into this conversation? JaviSuzumiya: This is one of the funniest comment i’ve ever read xD When people understand that these characters aren’t real the internet will be a better place :) send flawps: @javisuzumiya nah I jus made that account to call you out on being a pedophile and making child porn. That’s all. I do have a life. You really don’t because you waste your talent on making children’s show porn. JaviSuzumiya: Drawing is not considered child porn. Just like in Japan, we know to differentiate what is real and what is not :3 send flawps: I obviously can tell what’s real and fake, but pedophilia and incest is a serious matter. If you draw child porn that includes pedophilia and incest, than it’s obvious you support it and it’ll automatically make you one of their awful supporters. JaviSuzumiya: Sure, sure... Well, again, this is what happens when people can’t see what is real and what is not.
Do you see how Javier's only rebuke is how they cannot differentiate between real life and fiction. This shows how much of a pathetic uncreative piece of Mexican shit he is. He also says he lives in Japan and his other accounts says he lives in Mexico.
Javi fails at satire
In order to look like a decent fucking human being, Javi decided to make some crappy satirical pics of what he feels are wrong.
Pasture Cumtime Porn Comic
After witnessing the glorious episode of The Loud House called "Pasture Bedtime", Javier got a massive erection and decided to make his very first miniseries, Pasture Cumtime (shitty name). Basically, this godawful comic involves Lincoln, Rusty, Zach and Liam taking turns to fuck the luscious ladies: Jordan Rosato, Mollie Freilich, Kat Ketchum, Cookie QT and Brown QT and trust me, it's really, really bad and Javier always copies and pastes his vector of a happy open mouth with its tongue sticking out!
Basically, what happens is that during 1 AM, when Jordan's parents are fast asleep after every else has left, Jordan, her 4 friends and Lincoln and his 3 friends (except for Clyde as Javier is a racist pig! Ironically, Javier put Brown QT in, and she is also a nigger!). When everyone left, Jordan had someting in mind that she thought everyone would enjoy, and she and Mollie decided to seduce Lincoln by grabbing his micropenis and asking him whose butt is sexier. After a brief period of lust, Lincoln starts fucking Girl Jordan while Mollie masturbates and Brown QT tells ridiculous erotic stories to Lincoln, who is already sweating like hell and giggling like a sissy.
After Jordan cums, Lincoln starts fucking Mollie while Rusty fucks Cookie and Zach fucks Kat on the fence. TRIPLE ORGASMS AMIRITE!? Mollie won the cannonball competition but she decided to admit defeat as she orgasmed 3 times while Lincoln had a good fucking. And again, sick fuck Javier used his most overused vector again! After Mollie is left unable to walk, Lincoln moves on to Kat and they start embracing, kissing, sharing saliva and spanki-BLARF! THIS IS TOO DISGUSTING! Liam starts oil-drilling Brown QT.
At the over-chlorinated pool, Rusty and Lincoln start smashing Cookie and Mollie's wombs with their micropenises. While Lincoln fucks Cookie until she she is reduced to a spasming pile with ZERO virginity and would probably will never walk again, Mollie made Rusty's penis explode and calls him PatheTHICC. After a massive dicking and Cookie QT was sent to the hospital as her womb got torn to shreds, Lincoln and Liam decide to fuck Jordan and Brownie in the poolhouse. Liam complains that his redneck dick got shaved raw in the process but Lincoln is still having loads of fun fornicating the female of his natural predator. Liam wonders why Lincoln could fuck 5 in a row, but when you have 10 sisters, your dick better become a MEGA-TURBO-FIGHTER-DICKING-MECHAMATIC 3000!!!1 Does that mean that Lincoln fucks Lily!?
Lincoln x Casagrande Porn Comic
TLH Thicc Series Porn Comic
Some faggot made a shitty video that is a compilation of Javi’s Beautiful drawings, you can watch it yourself right here.
Brutally true facts
- Despite hating pedophiles, he is one. What a hypocrite!
- He said he does not give 2 shits about Samcoln haters, but he is most probably crying alone in his Mexican shack.
- He is autistic. He can deny all he wants, but his obsession with crappy ships says otherwise.
- Javier will die alone, and no one would give a fuck.
- He uses Lina Loud, his shitty OC as the criticizer in his ‘Satirical Masterpieces’. Loser!
- He probably not only lacks a fully functioning brain, but may have no gallbladder
- Everyone hates Samcoln and the ship will NEVER! EVER! BE! CANON!
- He was probably raped as a kid, thus the fetish of little boys getting fucked by adult women/bitchy teens.
- A fat loser, Maddie-Dite 13 is one of his white knights. In case you didn't know, Maddie L. is extremely stupid and lives in a basement in New Hampshire and for the record, she is not a MIT student but a museum volunteer.
- Javier is probably going to draw Lincoln, Luna, Sam and Simon having 4 hours of hardcore sex.
- He loves watching little girls and bitchy teens getting pegged by dildos in both holes.
- Javier said that Lincoln impregnated Sam when he was 12 while Sam was 16! A minor fucking a minor, that's illegal!
- Hopefully, he will get arrested for drawing child porn. He is most probably too stupid to use a VPN.
- JaviSuzumiya stated on Tumblr that he is making a lewd foursome with Linka, Loki, Boy Lynn and another genderbent Loud.
- JaviSuzumiya should get infected by Ebola.
- Javier believe that his petty opinions always matter. Tell us moar about what political party you belong to and what crack ships you masturbate 3 times in a row, how you can't associate with anyone whose opinions differ form yours, it's all so fascinating!
- JaviSuzumiya is ugly, all of his family members are ugly, and the children that he will never have will be ugly as well. Furthermore, the fact that his mammy or pappy did not do what so obviously needed to be done and strangle him immediately following his abominable birth proves Javier come from bad stock. Do not breed with smelly dumb beaner scum!
- Javier has a blatantly inaccurate superiority complex, when in reality he is perhaps the paramount example of a pseudo-intellectual.
- JaviSuzumiya, if you reading this, you can suck the jizz out of my puckered, nasty ASS you dirty manwhore.
- Javier fails in about ever skill known to mankind. He is even breathing manually!
- JaviSuzumiya will die alone after his so-called girlfriend finds out about his 6-ton porn and hentai collection.
- His taste in music is absolute trash.
- Javi has seen every shitty movie he could smuggle out of the USA through the border wall at least 5 times in a row due to how fucking poor he is.
- He collects plastic crap
- What kind of name even is JaviSuzumiya!?!
- Javier thinks that 2 women can have a baby as he thinks that Luan and Maggie can have a daughter that looks like a combination of both of them.
- The reason why Javier only accepts USD to make child porn for you is because he is planning to hop Donald Trump's awesome new border wall.
—JaviSuzumiya when reading this article
Javier's newest OC!
On the day of March 11th 2019, Sam got pregnant by Lincoln's seed, another product OF PEDOPHILIA!!!1
As per usual, Javier is extremely lazy and of all of the OCs he could come up with with with is feeble, autistic jelly of a brain, he decide to make the OC an embryo and will release the details over a span of 9 months!
The Fanfictions of Javier Shitzumiya
WARNING! This fanfic contains, violence, drama and explicit scenes for adults, but since I'm not your dad an this is the internet, you already know what you will find. You have been fucking warned!
T of Treason Chapter 1
This chapter is literally just Luna hallucinating, panicking, talking to herself and going batshit insane inside the hospital waiting room. Also, after the first half, she starts calling herself Moon. A psychologist called Dr. Amara later sends her to the mental asylum to conduct traumatic science experiments on her just because Luna wanted to commit suicide. Later she has a flashback where: The house goes silent a 3PM, for some reason there is a band called The Rolling Rocks (shitty name) and more bullshit.
T of Treason Chapter 2
A shitty continuation of the flashback where Lori chokes on Lincoln's muffin and Sam and Lincoln bond over the SMOOCH band and start falling in love with each other. Some hers are replaced by his(es) and Luna is sometimes called Moon (shitty Spanish and English) After the flashback, we get to read another hour of Dr. Amara's ridiculous experiments and brainwashing to turn Luna ungay!
T of Treason Chapter 3
Lincoln decides to send love letters to Sam and cheats on Paige. Rusty tells Lincoln there is no hope for him while Liam keeps shaving his micropenis raw by fucking his goats. Tabby breaks up with Liam as she found some new rocker dude who can play electric guitar. Giggles broke up with Zach as she and her retarded family went on a traveling circus, never to return again. Haiku only got together with Clyde as she had an addiction to the Big Black Cock, but when she found out Clyde had a microdick, she broke up with him. Polly broke up with Rusty as she found some bro boi who only posts sick flips and kick flips on his blog.
T of Treason Chapter 4
Later, at the Girls' Locker Room, Luna starts writing dozens of shitty-ass songs and of all of them she picks one that says "Can I fuck you? Oh yeah yeah! Oh yeah yeah! Wassup bitch wassup bitch, Suck My Clit/Dick Bitch!". Also, for some reason, Luna's name is now Ruth. After Luna expresses her true feelings for Sam, Sam starts laughing. The damage was irreparable.
Javier's English is so shit that I didn't even know who was Ruth in the first place. Oh wait, Ruth and George are the other band members.
T of Treason Chapter 5
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