Jed

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Probably what Jed looks like irl.

Jed is a batshit insane suicidal fuck who, completely incapable of actually becoming an hero, pretended to commit suicide by acting, over MSN, as his little sister who had found his own corpse, because we all know that the first reaction of little girls after just having found a relative's corpse is to hack into their instant messenger account and tell random people about it. The MSN account which he uses is jed_foolycooly@hotmail.com, but it's common knowledge "Jed Fooly Cooly" translates from Japanese to "suicidal pedophile".

After the imminent butthurt caused by this pathetic attempt at whoring attention, he tried to approach his friends with the question "do u still pissed at me?", which is fail beyond the comprehension of mortals.

Unfortunately, Jed can no longer be reached on MSN. A brave Anon warrior convinced him to place the code n—a_Á—ay±m—a?ÁÇáç±Çáß±Çá§ÁaÇáDZOÇá—±Ç᧱Çár×ÁÇ á+NÇ áLáÇá into his Personal Message Bar...there by locking his account forever. Amen.

The Final Conversation with Jed[edit]

This conversation took place on MSN Messenger on August 3rd, 2007.

VodKa says: hey man, what's up?

Jed says: sup who are u?

VodKa says: My names Vodka, I belong to vampire forum

VodKa says: I heard people were fucking with you

Jed says: hmm about what?

VodKa says: idk...you've got an article on Encyclopedia Dramatica

VodKa says: do you know what /4/chan is?

Jed says: ohh that shit

Jed says: yea yea

VodKa says: yeah...well, i lied...i'm a channer...but i come in peace

VodKa says: this Anon will not hurt you

Jed says: whos anon

Jed says: wtfs goin on

VodKa says: Anon is /4/chan...the people who have been fucking with you

Jed says: does that thing on the encyclopedia say do u still hate me?

VodKa says: Eh, everyone pretty much still hates you...at the moment, they're scheming to bring you down big time

VodKa says: Don't tell anyone we had this conversation, or i'd be treated as a traitor to Anon

VodKa says: and we'd both be fucked

Jed says: wait wat

Jed says: no i wouldnt

Jed says: and i got ur back

Jed says: but whos all this

Jed says: is it ppl from habbo or wtf

Jed says: i dont even know those ppl i think

VodKa says: No man, they're people from 4chan

VodKa says: the same people who put your info on ED

Jed says: that was tom

Jed says: my old friend lol

VodKa says: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Jed theres your article

Jed says: lol i know what it is

Jed says: its from tom

Jed says: he showed me when he made it

VodKa says: hmmm

VodKa says: how often do people add you?

Jed says: WHAT THE FUCK

Jed says: some guy named john did

Jed says: but

Jed says: umm they added to that page

Jed says: i never said that shit

VodKa says: just a sec man

VodKa says: i've got other people loyal to protecting you

Jed says: but wat the fuck

Jed says: how are they gunna hurt me?

VodKa says: oh dude...did you not see the Fox News special on 4chan?

Jed says: i have no clue what ur Talking about u realise that?

VodKa says: they can find out where you live

Jed says: well then bring um

Jed says:

i dont know who they are

Jed says: but i can kick ass

Jed says: and so can my friends lol

Jed says: i have no clue who ur Talking bout

Jed says: or what ur TAlking about

  • John has been added to the conversation.

Jed says: so ye

VodKa says: John Connor, here we go

Jed says: JOHN

Jed says: U SON OF A BITH

VodKa says: We are friendly

Jed says: i know him

Jed says: he added me

Jed says: lol

John says: aww

Jed says: john wtfs going on i dont understand

John says: do you still pissed at me?

Jed says: if people are coming to get me

VodKa says: John, let us be nice

Jed says: then i guess ill kill them

VodKa says: I have promised peace

John says: Vodka

John says: I think Vodka saw the article and added you

VodKa says: I am your overload on Chan

Jed says: i dont get what the fuck yall are talking about

Jed says: both of u shut the fuck up and tell me what the fucks happening

Jed says: and what the fuck chan is

Jed says: NOW

VodKa says: Okay, listen...

VodKa says: Now that you MSn addy is on ED...people can find out where you live with just your email address alone

Jed says: cool

VodKa says: once they find out where you live, they'll find your phone number

Jed says: yea?

VodKa says: and they'll call all hour of the day

VodKa says: non-stop

Jed says: then my parents will block the number

Jed says: lol

VodKa says: they'll send threatening letters

VodKa says: some will send anthrax

Jed says: OK

Jed says: STOP THIS SHIT

Jed says: IM SCARED NOW

Jed says: ALRIGHT

VodKa says: some will attempt to hack your computer

Jed says:

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS

Jed says: IM FUCKING SCARED

John says: Vodka

John says: its no use

John says: I thought you were gonna be awesome when I read the article

VodKa says: yeah...even if i tell him, Anon will finally get to him :(

John says: apprently you're another douche on msn

VodKa says: huh?

Jed says: WHAT THE FUCK

Jed says: SHUT UP

Jed says: IM SCARED

John says: I thought Jed was gonna be an awesome /b/tard

Jed says: PLEASE JUST TELL ME

Jed says: UR FUCKING WITH ME

VodKa says: Dude, you're in serious danger

Jed says: PLEASE

Jed says: do i need to tell my parents

John says: yes

VodKa says: Go to youtube and check out the Fox News story on 4chan

VodKa says: and Anonymous

Jed says: OK LISTEN

Jed says: PLEASE

John says: does you dad have a yellow vam?

VodKa says: see what they're capible of

Jed says: PLEASE STP

John says:

  • van

Jed says: why do they want to hurt me

VodKa says: WE'RE TRYING TO WARN YOU AND SAVE U!

VodKa says: Because they can...they don't care

VodKa says: They have your info...so they will

Jed says: what if i turn off this shit

Jed says: this account

VodKa says: Too late

John says: yeah

VodKa says: Chances are they've already found your address and information

VodKa says: they're quick

Jed says: DUDE

Jed says: PLEASE STOP

Jed says: IM CRYING

Jed says: STOP

Jed says: STOP

  • mAtT has been added to the conversation.

VodKa says: Matt, he's doomed

VodKa says: I'm trying to tell him about 4chans plans to take him down

VodKa says: but he won't listen

mAtT says: who jed?

VodKa says: Jed...you know, the kid who got posted on ED

mAtT says: oh

VodKa says: the kid that Anon is gonna harrass

Jed says: listen

Jed says: im krying

Jed says: ok

John says: Vodka

Jed says: if itell my parents

John says: Anon just paged me

Jed says: i have no more internet

Jed says: and please

John says: he has some info

Jed says: just make him stop

Jed says: dont

Jed says: please

VodKa says: Dude, if you tell your parents Anon will get pissed even more

Jed says: im crying

Jed says: stp

mAtT says: assfucker

VodKa says: We can't stop them

Jed says: dude this isnt cool

Jed says: ill get the cops

mAtT says: ok

mAtT says: ese

Jed says: do u know where i live

VodKa says: the cops are paid by 4chan

Jed says: please stop

VodKa says: they can bribe the cops

Jed says: listen

mAtT says: 4chan controls the world

VodKa says: anon has unlimited funs, actually

Jed says: im not even in the country

VodKa says: i'm being serious

VodKa says: well, they'll burn down your house

VodKa says: they're very serious

VodKa says: real life: serious business

Jed says: DUDE DO U KNOW WHERE I LIVE

mAtT says: anonymous rules every nation

VodKa says: I don't...but they do

Jed says: ask them

Jed says: ask them now

Jed says: just so i know its real

VodKa says: and expose myself?!?!

Jed says: just so i know

Jed says: before i get all my parents

VodKa says: they'll take me down too!

Jed says: and all that

VodKa says: dude...it won't do any good

VodKa says: you're already screwed

mAtT says: whats going on here anyway?

VodKa says: i'm just trying to prepare you

Jed says: I CANT BE PREPARED

Jed says: IM A SCARED FOURTEEN YEAR OLD KID

Jed says: IM SCARED

Jed says: OK

Jed says: U SCARED ME OK

Jed says: IM FUCKED

Jed says: I KNO

Jed says: but just someone tell me where i live

VodKa says: We're not trying to scare you....we're tring to tell you the truth

Jed says: im bout to pass out

Jed says: i am

VodKa says: the truth is...they're going to get you

Jed says: IK NOW

Jed says: BUT ITS SCARING ME

Jed says: STOP

Jed says: ILL HELP HIM HACK

Jed says: I WILL

Jed says: ILL DO ANYTHING

VodKa says: you should be scared, you're gonna be trolled IRL

Jed says: JSUT DONT HURT ME

John says: Anon will get to you

John says: you're gonna be canceled irl

Jed says: ILL DO ANYTHING I SWEAR I WILL

VodKa says: your gonna be made into an hero

VodKa says: dude

Jed says: NO IM NOT

Jed says: STOP IT

VodKa says: theres nothing we can do

Jed says: STOP IT

Jed says: LISTEN

Jed says: ALL OF U LISTEN

Jed says: TO ME

mAtT says: anonymous is going to kill you

VodKa says: we're just warning you of your fate

Jed says: IM SCARED OK

VodKa says: we're listening

VodKa says: calm the fuck down

Jed says: DO U WANT TO TALK TO MY DAD

Jed says: I CANT

Jed says: IM GUNNA DIE

Jed says: IM FOURTEEN

VodKa says: Dude, even if we told your dad he wouldn't believe it...he'd blow it off as a bunch of punks playing a trick

Jed says: NO HES OVER PROTECTIVE

Jed says: IM SCARED

Jed says: when will i get the threats

mAtT says: wtf does IM C RED mean?

VodKa says: Hmmm...everything is planned for August 20th...

John says: Vodka

Jed says: DO U KNOW WHAT STATE IM IN

John says: wasn't it august 18 or did they move it again?

VodKa says: I don't but they do

VodKa says: they moved it

mAtT says: i thought it was the 19th

John says: oh ok

Jed says: LOOK ILL HELP U GUYS

Jed says: I WILL

VodKa says: nah, it's the 20th...they had to prepare the bombs

Jed says: im bout to throw up

VodKa says: heh

Jed says: STOP IT

mAtT says: TOP IT?

mAtT says: top it off?

VodKa says: listen, have you heard of murder cases across the nation that the cops couldn't solve?

VodKa says: have you? well...those are the work of 4chan

mAtT says: its because anonymous pays them off

VodKa says: they bribe cops and clean the seen of evidence

VodKa says:

  • scene

Jed says: IM GETTING MY DAD

mAtT says: even your best friend could be anonymous

VodKa says: bring your dad

Jed says: ok are u going to fuck up my computer

VodKa says: maybe we can save you still

VodKa says: no

VodKa says: we're good anon members

Jed says: u...u can save me?

VodKa says: perhaps

VodKa says: but we can't make any promises

Jed says: dude is anything gunna happen in rl?

mAtT says: yes

VodKa says: yes

VodKa says: very much so

mAtT says: you better buy a dog

VodKa says: you see...anon has their hand in everything

mAtT says: and get curtains

VodKa says: black market guns, illegal drugs, and the sex slave trade

Jed says: ok what statess are they in

John says: are they Uzi's in the USA yet?

VodKa says: every state except Washington

mAtT says: theyre everywbere

VodKa says: They're in 7 countries outside the U.S. too

Jed says: listen

VodKa says: i'm serious...i know this because i've been an anon member for 6 years

Jed says: can u make it till nothing happens

Jed says: im only fourten

VodKa says: i can't

Jed says: im just a kid

VodKa says: we need to talk to your dad

John says: yes

Jed says: but hes my dad

Jed says: he will be mad

John says: its better than dying, isn;t it?

mAtT says: its the only way

Jed says: ok im getting him

VodKa says: guys, i hope we can save this fine boy

John says: I really don't see why anon wants to kill him

John says: I wish we could stop it

mAtT says: Anonymous has already ruled it

VodKa says: Yeah...:( we could be taken down just for warning him

mAtT says: we're risking our lives for you Jed

John says: so you better be graceful

VodKa says: did....did he kill himself? :(

VodKa says: jed, don't be an hero just yet!

mAtT says: Anonymous would be much displeased

mAtT says: Anonymous needs to kill him theirselves

VodKa says: jed, in order to keep anon from hacking your MSN or computer, you need to post this code into your Personal Message bar. n—a_Á—ay±m—a?ÁÇáç±Çáß±Çá§ÁaÇáDZOÇá—±Ç᧱Çár×ÁÇ á+NÇ áLáÇá


  • Jed has left the conversation.


VodKa says: r.i.p. jed :(

An hero?[edit]

It is known faggot Jed has killed himself.

Jed's famous quotes[edit]

  • "do u still pissed at me?"
  • "how tall are u both dick wise and height?"
  • "by dey wey, i bloked yu"
  • "luk at my mom on webcam and give her a rating out of 10 plz"
  • "sumtimes i smoke cigarets but somtims i smoke paracetamol"
  • "what if i fuck my dad?!?!"

Attempts at humor with this meme[edit]

Just like every unfunny internet meme, it happened that there were enough 13 year old boys who found this one funny for more than 12 seconds to have some image macros made about it. Not surprisingly, none of them are actually funny and some of them don't even make sense.

See Also[edit]