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Jeffree Star

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IT'S A MAN, BABY!


Jeffree Star is actually a man IRL.

Enjoy your cock!   8====D (_(__)


Jeff in his glory days as a member of Good Charlotte. Note the correct spelling of "Jeffrey".
The magic of Photoshop: Turning a queer into a crack-addicted whore.
Cool intelligence exists amongst the massive stupidity.
Jeffree Star and GayGod; big offline sluts.

Jeffree "Cunt" Star or J* is a Myspace celebrity who deluded himself into believing that he's original, controversial and misunderstood; since impressionable young gay men and breeder fashionistas seem to flock to people who treat them like dog shit, Jeff has become one of the most popular attention whores on MySpace.

Most of his friends are internet trolls, other Myspace celebrities and crack whores with zero self-esteem. Requirements of his friendship are to let him use you as his door mat and to tell him that his shit smells like roses. His most notable sycophants include Sharolaid, Lithium Picnic, fantard Jeffree Moon, Chris Crocker, PixelBeeProductions, and Dahvie Vanity just kidding about that last one; he is butthurt because he figured out Dahvie Vanity is a pedo [1] [2].

Jeff is a cock sucking sodomy fiend, as he confirms in most of his shitty, derivative songs. Even though he's a tranny searching for his sexual identity, he should not be pitied. He tries to promote himself as a "star" and professional in the modeling/performance industry, but any manager or agency with a lick of business sense would pull the blinds down and load a shotgun the minute they saw him walking towards their office. An enormity of of unwarranted self-importance is required to succeed in the public eye, but in order to to go far, one also needs a degree of humility and the ability to play well with others, especially when the faggot in question is an untalented shitdick nobody.

Jeffree only got to where he is now by surfing Myspace and adding every scene whore and neglected child he could find to his friends list. Since mommy and daddy didn't love them enough, they look for recognition from Jeff but they have to battle a few thousand other little tarts competing to become his new boot licker.

Despite treating both his fans and friends like shit, they still somehow think of him as a humanitarian, fighting the good fight for the little guy. These basement-dwellers actually believe that this self-centered megalomaniac is somehow trying to represent them. In reality, all he wants is someone to tell him that he looks pretty and to assure him that he's a good person, even though he doesn't give a shit about anything other than himself.

He bears no relation to Ringo Star.

Contents

Unicorns Are Not Real & Other Obvious Phenomena

His "Music"

Oh noes!
Jeff with loli Miley Cyrus, attempting to leech off of her fame.
Jeffree Star's attempt at "makeup artistry".

99.9% of Star's writing is plagiarized from dozens of other brain-dead internet entities, and his shock tactics are as basic and boring as calling himself Jesus and "going against the norm".

His music is boring synth-pop filched out of '80s dance clubs with a side of repackaged Hot Topic rebellion. This works when your fanbase consists of scene and emo children who sniff glue from paper bags.

Jeff's songs are the result of him desperately trying to be offensive by saying fuck as many times as possible in two minutes over the backing track to one of Usher's songs. His lyrics cover a wide variety of themes, from being a faggot to being a tremendous faggot.

Actual Jeffree Star lyrics:
   
 
Boys fess up...

Girls fess up...

All coked up...

WE WANT CUNT

Boys fess up...

Girls fess up...

Actin' like sluts

WE WANT CUNT
 


 
 

—JStar, We Want Cunt


   
 
Enter my construction zone

Make me moan, danger prone

Sliddin' down the pole

Swallow it whole

Flood control

Always on patrol

Let's take a stroll

Into your hole

On cruise control

Now pay the toll

Open up your thighs

Show me the surprise
 


 
 

—JStar, Ice Cream

Perhaps after realizing how hard he failed at making his own music, he switched to just outright ripping off ancient new-wave shit:

His Fanbase

Jeffree Star fandom has been linked to AIDS.

His colossal friends list is populated by gullible, barely literate emo kids and assorted lusers too stupid to realize that they're worshiping someone who stole his purportedly original look from the Joker. But then the Joker's fanboys are just as retarded and fucked up, so maybe there's some crossover between the two groups.

Should a Jeffree Star fan ever discover that anyone anywhere has said anything in the slightest bit negative about their "misunderstood" hero, they will vehemently defend him until someone calls the Waaaambulance for them. They will then conclude their BAWWW by pretending to be amused by whoever has called Jeffree out as the fraud he is, or in their words: "HAHAHAHAHA U MaKe Me LaFf U R aLl So sAd AnD h8eRz u R JsUt JeAlOuSe CuZ u CuD nEvEr pUlL oFf tHe ThInGz jEfFrEe DoEs AnD u HaV nO lIfE!!!!11!1"

They also always whine about how original he is and how much shit he has gone through, which they also get to how no one understands him, that's right, no one does. He isn't original, he's ugly as shit, at least 3/4 of his fanbase is just over his looks. He can't write music or shit, and he's just another artist that teen girls can feel hardcore listening to because he throws around lots of sexual innuendo. JStar fans are much lulz to try because of how badly they defend him

Because Jeff fails at everything except being a superficial, pretentious whorebag, his fanbase has spawned something so hideous and disgusting Hitler would break down and cry if he saw it. That piece of shit is... JMOOOOOON.


   
 
This is JMoon, your pilots... we've hit some turbulence. Hold on for the ride. There's a certain website, Encyclopedia Dramatica, maybe you've heard of it. WELL, they think they're so cool to pick on JStar, but they got another thing commin', Starlings.
 

 
 

antiDRAMATICA, by JMoon

This fat thing seems to have one goal in life: to assume the appearance of an obese J*. Why would someone so fugly want to look fuglier?

This is all that needs to be said about Jeffree's fans.

Quick note: wouldn't you have gotten scared if someone "wanted to a man"? Catholic school is doing it right.

Media

Much News Weakly

"The key to fame is constant update"

Music Video Appearances

Awful mainstream bands have hired Jeffree to dance around and scream in the background of their videos so that JStar fans will shriek, "OmGzzzz JEFFree StAR Is IN thAT ViDDDEEEOOOOOO I SOoOo NEEdd TO bY THat CdD....."

Jeffreestarcat.jpg
Need I say more?

Violence

In his typical batshit insane style, Jeffree apparently punched a female attendee when he was performing at the Toronto Gay Pride Festival because she allegedly gave him the finger [3]. Much drama has been generated, not least by Star's typical attention whoring on MySpace about the event [4], which presumably inspired his emoite fans to collectively punch themselves in the face before he removed the entry after Canada declared war on him and Bobby Trendy for the offense of woman-beating without a license. As a result of this, Jeff has been banned for life from engaging in buttsex in Toronto, mainly because he didn't ram his fist up her ass.

After a performance in Dallas, Texas someone apparently harassed Jeff by throwing an inanimate object at him. Jeff had this to say on his MySpace:

The painfully long, cancer-inducing bulletin post.


   
 
HAHHAHAHHAHA oh my god.. ok so 2 nights ago we played Dallas and it was INSANE!!! the best thing happened.. after the show, I always do autograph signings at my merch booth, and while I was meeting everyone this UGLY kid threw something at me.. my keyboard player Lauren saw him and pointed him out to me.. my friend pushed him and asked what the fuck his problem with me was.. he just stood there because EVERYONE is always all talk. I went up to him and asked what the FUCK his problem was.. he just stood there so I spit in his face and threw a soda IN his face hahahhaha he said "you scare me" and other horrible things so in front of EVERYONE there, I punched him and kicked him in the face over and over until the police came and told me break it up hahahha HE threw something that hit ME which is assault, I was defending myself and AS USUAL everyone is a little bitch and never fights back once I confront them.. I think its SAD how some people have to try and ruin other people's fun and be so HATEFUL.. being homophobic is DISGUSTING and I'm always gonna be the one fighting til the death.. don't EVER let anyone push you around.. and maybe some people don't think violence is right but I'm a hood bitch and I don't let ANYONE disrespect me. And JUST because I wear makeup and have pink hair doesn't mean I can't throw down and handle my own self. THAT'S what people DONT KNOW about me..
 

 
 

—Jeffree Star, being a gigantic whining cunt

Here, Jeffree (or somebody who looks like him) gets violent and immediately ceases his flailing after being lectured by a cop.

Galleries of Retardation

Here is scientific proof that Jeff kills brain cells. Hopefully, he also lowers sperm count.

Tattoos of Jeff About missing Pics
Jeff teaches us about maturity About missing Pics
Random Shit About missing Pics

FUN FACTS/RUMORS

  1. Remember the reality show that J* wouldn't stfu about? Apparently, it won't happen, because the people in charge of the insane idea are more interested in Chris Crocker.
  2. That make-up line isn't happening, either. No huge surprise, there; no company would support a man who wears cosmetics in such a horrid way.
  3. J* tries so hard to lie about his age. He edited the year of his birth in his Wikipedia article. He was born in '85, not '86 as he has claimed before.
  4. Jeffree has his cell phone number on his Myspace. His voicemail can be trolled @ 323-271-0336.
  5. Primus would fuck Jefree. He thinks she's he's hot.
  6. Jeffree Star is allergic to manliness.

Contact Info

  • Jeffree Star
  • Email: [email protected] (Because all mactards are [fags])
  • Tmail(cellphone email): [email protected]
  • AIM: Jeffreestar
  • Phone #s: 323-649-0371, 808-223-0335

External Links

Fan Shit

Notable Fantards

  • JMoon's Profile - Tell them how sad you are about the death of one of their members.
  • japanroxduh804, an obsessed overweight fangirl who won't stop vandalizing this page (also has an IMVU, XAsylumCrazeeX).
  • Tomtorture of buzznet looks like a fatty J*. The effort he puts into his hair and make-up to look like the man is insane.

Random Mockery

See Also


YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
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