Jehochman

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Jonathan Evan Hochman of West Hartford, Connecticut is a Wikipedia Jew, in the truest sense of the word. Unlike other Wikipedia Jews who pretend that they are building an encyclopedia, Jonathan Cockman is intelligent enough to see Wikipedia as the game it truly is and play it to his advantage. He can always be seen purposefully drama whoring and grandstanding to gain power and move up the wiki ladder.

His profession[edit]

This man wants to seo you

Jehochman is a "Search Engine Optimization" consultant and is everything that's fucking wrong with business on the Internet. He is the founder and chief dickbag of Hochman Consultants where he assrapes his client with no reacharound. He engages in "COI investigations" against other people using Wikipedia for such purposes, simultaneously using Wikipedia to promote his own business. It is not hard to figure out what his true motives on Wikipedia are. He believes that Google is the truth police (really no fucking joke) and they should listen to whiny little fucks like him when he stomps his feet.

He probably isn't all that bothered by this article because it won't show up in the first page of Google results for his name.


   
 
Hello, I am Jonathan Hochman, SEO, SEM and internet marketing consultant. I have financial interests in Hochman Consultants, Search Engine Marketing New England, and CodeGuard. I don't edit on behalf of clients. No, I can't provide you with my client list, because that's valuable, proprietary information, and in many cases subject to confidentiality and no publicity agreements. Once in a great while, I may advise a client how Wikipedia works, and tell them how to follow best practices for getting their issues addressed by Wikipedia, but this is not the focus of my work. I am mainly interested in technical SEO, website security, and marketing strategy. I also serve as an expert witness in trademark, patent and other types of cases related to websites.
 

 
 

Jonathan Hochman, lying about paid editing

Jehochman claims on his userpage that he doesn't edit his client's articles directly. Last Thursday a Wikipediocracy thread appeared, and the OP laid out the evidence that Jehochman's claim is a bald-faced lie. Hochman has been editing on behalf of his paying clients for years.

Bull riding[edit]

In between designing shitty websites and telling people how to fuck up Flash even more, he also rides bulls. This is included here to infer that he might be a goddamned furry.

Jehochman is a faggot who cruises furry channels on IRC to cyber-YIFF. Not that there is anything wrong with being a faggot, but being a faggot who has to get off on IRC while wearing an animal costume because you're too ugly to cruise for cock in a public park or skanky shower club must be proof of some kind of social maladjustment.

 
 
Jonathan Hochman, long removed from his bar mitzvah in Philadelphia but by all accounts still a nice Jewish boy at the age of 38, rides bulls. Mean, snot-slinging, hoof-stomping, cowboy-hating bucking bulls.

"It's a heckuva conversation starter, said Hochman, an Internet consultant. "What'd you do this weekend? Oh, I got stepped on by a 2,000-pound Brahma..
 


 

Jonathan Hochman, better than being sued.

Arbcom[edit]

Jehochman has made two unsuccessful bids to become an Arbcommie.

For pure drama-whoredom, he loves to step into ongoing Arbcom conversations and clap his hands and stomp his feet making announcements about how he will use his admin magic powers in the dispute. (Clearly no-one else at Arbcom has magic admin powers or decision making ability.) He has no bull in that fight but he wants Arbcom to act faster so he intercedes his own judgment.

In December, 2013, Jehochman repeatedly badgered a candidate about an undisclosed account on Wikipediocracy, after this candidate won with the most amount of votes. Sadly, the nascent Arb gave in to Jehochman's bawling, and now the Committee has the same amount of teenaged aspies as last year.

External Links[edit]

  • Link to butthurt faggotry: Arbitration request
  • What a grand web designer Hochman Consultants
  • Blah blah blah not just a nerd blah blah [1]
  • I hate Google wahhhh [2]
  • Watch me act unilaterally because my admin magic is greater than anyone elses! [3]
  • I will protect my IRC YIFF-buddies who suck my cyberbullcock. [4]
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Jehochman is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

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