I Killed My Mother Today
Jennet Wolfskunk is an attention whore who allegedly killed her mother on July 24th, 2007. She failed to provide any evidence to support her ridiculous story, which involved a cult and secret agents. In true internet tough guy fashion, she threatened to ban anyone who didn't believe her. It wasn't long before she deleted her journal entry to hide how seriously full of shit the story really was.
The original entry, without the whiny edit in the end (may contain typos):
Well folks, it was bound to happen eventually and today it finally did.
This morning i killed my mother. Not figuratively. Literally.
The Police have deemed it an accident with possible self-defence, so i won't be charged with any crime over this. But if i'm completely honest, had the gun not gone off when it did, i wouldn't be surprised i'd have ended up shooting that bitch anyway.
My mother was anti-feminist and HYPER traditional. A fact i had to suffer through my entire youth. If it weren't for the fact that my mother's beliefs forbade her from opposing my father, their marriage probably wouldn't have lasted as long as it did. I grew up absolutely hating her. She came just short of child abuse in her attempts to make me the "perfect woman". Ultimately her attempts just drove me away from her. My father was the one who encouraged me to do what i wish and was the primary factor in making me who i am today.
What tenuous connection i still had with my mother i considered destroyed two months ago when she joined a suspected cult in an adjoining town - despite knowing i was involved in the absolute annihilation of the last cult in this area (one of the few times my actions have ever earned me praise from her, i might add!). My father was equally concerned as i still had an 11-year-old brother in the house and this cult was suspected of sexually abusing children. So my father finally filled for divorce, and the sole custody of my brother.
This morning when i stopped by my father's place, my mother showed up with a rifle. Which she immediately aimed at my father's head. Before she could fire i grabbed the gun and tried to take it. At some point it went off, the bullet hitting my mother's chest.
The Police were there pretty quick. Apparently some "agents" (as we jokingly call them) from the committee (a local community action group) had tailed her there all the way from the cult's church and called police as soon as they saw the gun.
Being a small town it didn't take long for words to spread, so detectives worked quickly to figure out what happened. The Coroner isn't even bothering me with a full autopsy - three witnesses (my father, youngest brother, and my youngest sister) inside the house, plus three agents and two neighbors all saying they saw her walk in the house with a firle adds up a lot, and the bullet went all the way through, allowing an easy look at the angle of the entry, so he was easily able to find that what the witnesses said was likely true.
I spent three hours in jail because of an officer who didn't follow the proper procedure (around here an officer can't arrest a suspect at the scene in cases where there is strong evidence that the death may not have been intentional) while i waited for the seriff to order my release. It was kinda fun. I ran into an ex-boyfriend from high school who's arm i broke when he refused to take no for an answer. He was awaiting for trial for dealing meth. Played mental games with him for the time i was there. I think i made him piss his pants at least three times.
In any case, don't cry for my mother. This little post is just my way of "grieving" over the end of the one and only hell in my life. If you knew her, you wouldn't be sad to hear about her passing. What little family she has lest hasn't even shown any concern. It's unlikely she'll even be claimed by family for a funeral. Eventually the goverment will have to drag her out the morgue, dig a hole, yell "DEAD BITCH HO!!!!!" and throw her in like the garbage she was.
But if there's ONE thing we can learn from this it's just how dangerous cults are. Becayse of her traditionalist attitude, my mother would have never even raised her voice to a man. And without warning she tries to kill not just ANY man, but the one she married.
The cult is not likely to survive the week. As a founding member of the committee the people around here are not going to be pleased that they went after me.
That's it for now. I'll let things settle and hope that nobody else does anything stupid.
Would you believe it?
"Damn... Y'know, I was supposed to do this about six months ago, once I sure the article wasn't going to be edited anymore. But all that crap with the Eminent Domain where I worked messed everything up. Kinda had to prioritize some other stuff.
Well, anyhow, its time for the big revelation of the trap I'd set nearly a year ago...
Some of you may remember the big shitstorm that I raised last July when I wrote the journal claiming my mother had been killed in a scuffle with me at my father's house?
Well, it didn't happen. My mother is, indeed, dead. But she died a little under two years before from a heart attack.
Everything I claimed in the journal about her hyper-conservative beliefs was true. And because of them, we never did get along, but thankfully it never came to such serious levels.
The claim that there's a cult in the area was also true. To be more specific, its only a SUSPECTED cult at this point, though. If my mother ever had any contact with them before her death, though, I'm not aware of it.
Almost everything in the journal was carefully crafted to be realistic. I even went over the details of investigation and filing of legal charges with my fiancee's uncle(who works in the Prosecutor's Office) to make sure I had a legally-accurate story as to why I wasn't in jail.
In fact, the only detail that wasn't sufficient for it was my lack of information on the gun used. This was intentional.
You see, the whole thing was done for a reason - and unlike what Encyclopedia Dramatica claims, it sure as hell wasn't to be an attention whore. Look at my level of overall activity compared to most people with my amount of submissions. Does it look like I care how much attention people give me? In fact, this journal here is probably the one time I'll ever actually WANT lots of people to be paying attention.
The point is, the journal was a trap for the EDiots.
I visit Encyclopedia Dramatica on occasion. Its funny as hell... But I'm not laughing at the people the articles focus on(most of the time, at least). I'm laughing at the people who CREATE the articles.
The EDiots are, I feel, some of the most pathetic people on the entire Internet. How sad is your life when you have to make fun of other's people's actions to validate your existence? Its one thing when people do something stupid to point and laugh as its happening, but come ON! You have got to be one hell of an empty soul to find pleasure in actually taking the time to write an in-depth article on the timeline of someone's stupidity plus details on WHY the person in question was so stupid.
What's really sad is that, rather than just put up the info on what happened and be done with it, they actually change details and try to make the person look WORSE.
The article on me is a perfect example. Not only does the body of the article itself twist some of my statements and contain outright lies, but they posted a "screenshot" of the journal - a screenshot that was EDITED to remove some statements and replace them with things to make me look like an idiot.
They even try to claim I said something about SECRET AGENTS??? My god, that's stretching things so far you can't HELP but laugh at those nitwits!
And that's the thing - all it did was make me laugh harder. They were playing right into my hands. I sat there and fanned the flames until it reached about its peak, then deleted the journal to ensure the ED would attempt to "do its worst" so to speak.
I hope they update the article with the news of this revelation. I'd love it if they just backed up my claim even further.
The real lulz of the Internet is ED, not the folks whom they post about it.
They think they're belittling us with this stuff? Sorry, to all you EDiots out there, all most of the people who you're posting about are doing is laughing at you. You think WE'RE pathetic? We're not the ones trying to validate our own existence by making other people look like morons!
Okay, yeah, I'm doing a bit of that here, but at least my life doesn't revolve around it. You'll probably never see me post another journal like this again. You'll certainly never see me post an article to ED.
And you'll DEFINITELY never see me risk stirring up any drama ever again.
In the end, I honestly don't care what the EDiots or anyone else thinks of me.
My name is Jennet Conwell, I like cars, I work in an auto garage, I'm 6-foot-6, I have a wonderful man for a fiancee, I am a furry, and I do very much enjoy exposing people for who they really are. Even if I have to take some flak to get it done.
I'm going to sit down, have a Dr. Pepper, and enjoy the show these sad, strange little men(and women, I'm sure) give me. And I'll laugh.
We don't believe the bitch either. Nice try, Jennet.
Jennet Wolfskunk is part of a series on
Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.