Jessica Elwood

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Gotis.png
Jessica Elwood = infected with GOTIS
You can help by not giving her any attention.


A slut like always
Typical interaction with her fans.
Reasons she has
A fanbase TL;DR

Jessica Elwood, real name Martha Martinez, is a furry titty monster/attention whore/camwhore/slut who lives in Mexico. Widely known for her gigantic tits, inflatable-titted art and drawing the same shit over and over again, she makes a comfortable living creating art for paysites, camwhoring and whoring the fuck out of herself for anyone dumb enough to give her cash.

Jessica is well known for taking money for commissions from idiot furfags who want shitloads of drawings of their murrsonas, then making them wait indefinitely. Before ED justice was delivered some of the furries in question still had not received artwork they paid for 2 years ago. Jessica is still completely above reproach, however, since she posts pictures of her giant tits and ass on her deviantArt account, and fucking idiots like the furries jerking off to Elwood's various drawings of shiny balloon tits don't understand some of the basic tenets of internet society.

For years Elwood had claimed her real name was Jessica Jazmin Colaneri but this entire persona was faked for attention and to manipulate people. The white Cali girl is really just a typical spic who whores and begs for money to feed her weeaboo habits such as collecting deformed animu figurines and various swords in order to brag about them on the internet.

Prior to 2010[edit]

One of Martha's closest relatives.

Commission Shenanigans[edit]

Elwood is notorious on the Internet for not doing her half of art trades, and taking money from furries via 'commissioned' artwork that never appears.

Giving anything to her is akin to lighting your cash on fire and stuffing it up your ass- no wait, some furries are probably into that. Any queries after the status of said artwork leads to being ignored, or on the rare occasion a response is given it will be of the pathetic excuses variety. A quick look over the journals on Elwood's DA account will show constant bawwing about how she can't draw in an effort to pacify unhappy commissioners, and often resorts to less savory things like flahsing her cow udders out for any furfag desperate enough to accept them.

Any comments on her page asking about anything owed will be hidden. The only way to get art from Jessica, or a refund of your interest-free loan, is to threaten to make it all public.

If you are male, expect her to e-spread her her legs to fix things. In fact, there's also a good chance Martha may even try to initiate an internet relationship for further swindling purposes.


Boyfriend Shenanigans[edit]

Not long after joining DA, Martha got together with Crybringer, and they were together for quite some time until Elwood decided she had sucked enough giftart and popularity out of him. This lead to a very amicable breakup involving Martha making accusations about how Crybringer e-raped her on AIM.

Following this, Elwood moved onto greener pastures, which involved leading on lonely males - undoubtedly several at once - obtaining gifts from them and anyone else foolish enough to donate money after being suckered in by false promises, lies, and sob stories. She bleeds men dry with no remorse. A clear example dates back to March of 2009. On the Swords of Might forum, under her CountessaAsryon alias, Martha posts a topic stating that by the end of the month she will have $1500-$2000 to buy a new katana with. On March 25th, surely enough she posts a journal on DevArt crying that her computer is broken, and takes money from people for 'repairs'.

Art Shenanigans[edit]

If you ever get art, expect it to be a sketch she has recycled a dozen times.
Perhaps you need more generic poses.
Elwood's art, and the uncredited resource

Not content with stealing money, cheating customers, lying to get donations and shafting people in art trades, it has been revealed that Martha doesn't the backgrounds for her art as well. Those wonderfully rendered backgrounds are not her work, they are in fact filtered shots from 3D programs used only by talentless douches.

Of course, these are used with no credit being given whatsoever. Any omitting of the truth to make her seem more talented is A-OK by her! Who wants to bet money Martha didn't even pay to use it for one image of hers? And even if she had, the fact remains she didn't credit it.

Unsurprisingly, she's been half-assing all of her recent commissions with sub-par anatomy, coloring, and effects; now she won't even bother with an original background that she was paid to do. I can haz $100 plz.

Lucky for you, there's more! When she actually bothers to do work that she's been hired for, Elwood likes to be paid for it twice. Note the image to the right where the two sketches are practically identical, and had been sent to two different commissioners at the same time. She has, in the past, also taken at least one commission paid for by the customer, and used it as a submission for a different paysite as well.

Elwood apologizes[edit]

Jess unsuccessfully tries to save her ass on FA by issuing an apology to fans.

After being featured on the LJ community Artists_Beware for a second time, Jess tries to save her ass by issuing a very sincere apology to fans and asking to be reminded of what she owes them. Hilariously, the majority of people commenting state that they do not believe a word of this after waiting for years and being ignored multiple times.

Over the course of Elwood's multiple fuck-ups and lies the only people who 'support' her are those who did not actually give her any money. Once again proving that the majority of furries are idiots who will make excuses for any sort of behavior as long as their wank-material still gets churned out. Meanwhile the unhappy commissioners are stuck listening to Martha's rabid fanboys 'forgiving' her on their behalf. How nice!

More Money Gone Than Speculated?[edit]

It appears Fagoneer is actually doing something useful for once- trying to tally up the amount Jess owes. According to Dragoneer, one fucktard spent over $1,000 on commissions for Elwood that they never received. Of course, Jess was only doing commissions for people with big mouths since she did not give two shits about her fans, but only her status. Following the example of her instantly doing a commission for someone who reported her to the LJ group artists_beware, JE would only dole out pics to those who would land her in court otherwise.

It was thought only a mere couple of thousand was lost to JE - now it's seemingly much more. JE is confirmed as a money laundering jew. In fact all your money has already been spent on her collection of swords.

During 2010. The Fall[edit]

Jessica Jazmin Colaneri[edit]

According to WikiFur and claimed by Martha herself, Jessica Elwood is supposedly called Jessica Jazmin Colaneri and lives in California - now proved otherwise by an FA admin and as of 2nd August, finally admitted by Elwood herself.

Elwood had posed as a hot Californian girl until now with some measure of success despite having an IP address that traces to Mexico and it is possible that before this she initially pretended to be a man going by the name of Arturo Juarez aka "Bubba" as they shared the same MO of not doing commissions and trying to get nudes from people. This has not been officially confirmed, and some have voiced the theory that Arden was a victim she stalked, so judge for yourself.

Identity[edit]

One watcher points out that Martha types like an illiterate Mexican

Up to early 2010 this slut had a history of pretending to be other people. At first it was limited to sending nude pictures to 'popular' artists in the hope of getting free art or nudes. This was first exposed when the pictures got leaked and it was discovered that she had been sending pictures of different girls to various people. Some of the differing batches were given to the same people, who soon worked out that the photos were not of the same person and thus were fake, as the real photos of JE that surfaced later showed her to be chubbier and have massive cow udders, unlike every girl she wished to be.

Not learning her lesson, the attentionwhoring continued with Jess posing as various different girls until she found one she liked Posting these fake pictures on DA, Jessica Elwood's pageviews got higher than ever, leading to the creation of a photo account - BALEETED! Deactivated after the true identity of the model was found out. Way to go!

Sock-puppetry[edit]

AmoreNerezza
Back in 2006 when Elwood was dating Crybringer they were supposedly in a 'hot threesome' with a latina going by Amore Nerezza whose supposed 'real name' was Natalia Asuncion. Her (now-empty) DA account can be found here. It was also claimed that she was a model they used for reference. Originally Elwood posted a journal asking people to welcome her 'friend' to DA, and her watchers found many similarities in their art style. A week after it reached the point where JE had to issue a denial that they were the same person, the account was cleaned out and she has not been seen since.

Kacey Wyandotte
The paypal account Elwood uses belongs to a Martha Guerrero Martinez, and initially this person was claimed to be a 'student' of hers going by the name Kacey Wyandotte whose FA account can be found here. Both accounts have used this paypal and share a same IP address.
A fake image Martha sent to people under the Kacey alias can be found in the gallery at the bottom of this page.

Kacey says in the description of this image that Elwood had been giving her online art classes which has now been proven to be utter bullshit as they are the same person.

Martha also registered a Kacey account on DevArt here. The account is empty, and in a hilarious display of of what a hypocrite Martha is, that account was solely used to blow the whistle on a Camerella faker back in April.

A paypal record (shown right) also reveals that Elwood has been taking commissions with the Martha paypal account as early as 2006, approximately three years prior to the creation of the "Kacey" account, further proving the sock-puppetry between the two accounts.

Martha Martinez[edit]

Enough evidence has been gathered to prove that, instead of being a male as in earlier accusations, Jess is actually a Mexican girl known as Martha Martinez.

Back in early 2009 Jessica signed up to a forum known as Swords of Might under the handle CountessaAsryon. Now:


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Conclusion? Jessica is really just a chubby, Mexican cumdumpster-mooch and a pathological liar.

As of August 2nd 2010 Elwood has admitted that she is Martha, after being exposed by incontrovertible evidence found and gathered by a brigade of ED users. As expected, many of her fans welcomed their boobie-drawing goddess back with open arms, proving that furfags and weeaboos possess no moral compass whatsoever. A small number were intelligent enough to declare that they were done with the bullshit and unwatched her, however such right-thinking folk are vastly in the minority, as it would seem most of her fans are willing to forgive anything as long as she flaunts her tits and draw more fap fuel.

In picture: Pageviews.

The Admission[edit]

Jessadmission.jpg

After being exposed and failing to cover it up by deactivating the 'model' account, Elwood posted a journal admitting the pics were fake. Said journal has been deleted, but a second apology and admission to guilt has been posted. Of course, this was already obvious to anyone with half a brain; JE didn't fool anyone except the legion of brain-dead 15 year old fanboy sheep she gathered due to her pathetic furry smut. Note that in the apology Jess is still lying, saying Camerella was a friend and they planned it together.

Camerella initially denied having anything to do with Elwood and did not know who she was, but after learning more of the situation she admitted to being hired a few months ago by Jessica for sessions where the sign pictures JE posted were taken. Some of the other photos JE used were stolen from Camerella's websites however and she did not give permission to be impersonated.

HACKED!?[edit]

Few are fooled by Martha
Proof that the art was put in storage and not deleted. What hacker does THAT?

After the 2010 July/August shitstorm on DeviantArt went out of Elwood's control, her DA was conveniently 'hacked' in a very unconvincing manner. Elwood was still hiding comments she did not like - such as people calling her out on her bullshit, any mention of Arden or speculation of her being male - right up until the 'apology' journal was deleted and replaced with the 'hack' entry.

It happened at the same time as this very article was vandalized, and all the deviations were put into storage rather than deleted. Not to mention the distinct lack of goatse, Elwood talking like her usual English-garbling self while posing as a "hacker", and the fact that her FurAffinity account was left untouched.

ED is not responsible for the 'hack' and /b/ have denied being behind this, or at least the members of /b/ that weren't too catatonic after repeatedly smashing their faces into their own keyboards, as is their custom. Elwood has scarcely been talked about outside of furfag circles, and was essentially completely beneath everyone else's radar before this recent loldrama.

General consensus among non-retards is that an actual raid on Elwood's profile would not have entailed lame suicide jpegs that show up on the first page of Google image search, and instead more shock images, obvious Elwood bashing, faux-public confessions, admitting to being Arden, unblocking everyone on Elwood's blocklist, targeting Elwood's other identities and not just DA, etc.
The "hacker" did post some crude shock images to Jessica's gallery, but only after comments on the page mentioned that Anon would have employed much more goatse by then. JE may have lurked 4chan, but not long enough to get any of the memes she used right. Note that she even got "Never forgive, never forget" the wrong way around. Anonymous himself could not be reached for comment, though neighbors and close relatives report that he has been passed out in a jenkem-addled haze since last Thursday, thus freeing him of all charges.

Notice that she got "Never forgive, never forget" the wrong way around. Not even newfags fuck this up.


Despite her Fur Affinity account remaining intact and initially being given protection by the admins, trying to come up with some sort of cover story for the great unwashed furry masses to swallow was beyond Martha's ability because according to one of FA's admins Elwood logged into her account under an Australian proxy (instead of her usual mexican IP) but never addressed the issue at all, and she was finally banned from FA for commission fraud.

On the subject of the Australian proxy, it was also stated by one of Martha's mouthpieces that the IP account that performed the 'hacking' of the DA account was also Australian. What a coincidence!

Camerella's pimp made her make a video thanking /b/. After being asked about this she said it was for the increased spike in traffic to her site coming from there and thanked them for 'getting rid of the Elwood faker' "because it seemed relevant at the time". Public relations on the internet is complexly see through.

After mid 2010[edit]

Unbanned from DA[edit]

As of 14 July 2010 Martha's dA account was unbanned. A browse of her gallery shows all the deviations in storage, delivering endless amounts of TOLD to "JE" fans.

DA unbanned Elwood a short time later and as of yet she has still not removed her deviations from storage. If one's account was hacked and vandalized you'd think they would instantly revert the 'damage' done but suspiciously Martha seems perfectly happy to leave it that way for now. Having been caught and exposed on her lies, Martha had a chance to change her ways and attempt to become a decent artist. Of course, she decided to continue being a drama cow instead.

Elwood finally owns up to being Martha[edit]

One again, Elwood only owns up to the truth after her hand has been forced. Like with the commission fraud, proof of her real identity was compiled and documented extensively to the point of being undeniable which was the only reason she came clean.

Some have taken this as a good sign, believing that the handful of commissions posted from her huge backlog to be undeniable proof that Martha is changing her ways. While it is true that she has not taken the account-hopping escape route this is simply because she does not want to lose her precious pageviews. The commissions Martha has completed so far are also incredibly sub-par in comparison to her usual art.

Note that other than admitting her true identity everything else in the journal is incredibly vague "Some things are false, others are true" and she still insists that her account had been hacked. It is the Elwood method, admit the absolute minimal amount of truth while still transparently lying about everything else and hope that no-one notices.

Attention whoring[edit]

Being a typical internet slut, Martha couldn't go long without attention, and seeing her art was not enough to bring back her old public she resorted to post photos once more, this time of her real self after the forces of justice had so completely exposed. But what started as a few photo posts soon became a comeback to her old ways, with the only difference this time she pimped her true self as she realized her fans would go nuts over her cow udders.

Camwhoring[edit]

After being busted for her several identity shenanigans and with her identity fully known and confirmed, Martha has become a camwhore of her own as she is unable to resist her slut nature. Often JE has stripped, bent over, flaunted her tits, ass and even done several pussy shots for her followers who travel from deviantART over to Formspring to see her bare all, constantly requesting her to get down to the dirty. Catching the pics is difficult as she only appears during her timezone and she makes sure any and all pics are off teh Internetz before trolls or 4chan find them. Not only is she open to being a complete whore, she discusses her sex life in great detail. The photos and links to her live cam chat are removed as soon as they're posted so no trace of them is left behind. When confronted whether she will make a gallery of all, she claims she "doesn't want them to float around on the Internet". Lately comments on her dA page have been hidden when asked about this nude pics. Clearly she doesn't know right click and save works wonders and doesn't understand that she is heavily infected with GOTIS. All she can do is act butthurt and stand behind her whiteknights who will only guard her if she gets her tits out. Also, it was discovered she did plenty of camwhoring for 4chan, resulting in her earning the nickname Creeperchan in boards such as /b/ and /v/, and she has been banned at least twice from Livestream due to her insistence of camwhoring while drawing.

DevianTART proving is against the truth being shared

Real Whoring[edit]

o hai /v/, I'm just being a slut like always

Not having enough with taking her clothes off on webcam, JE has resorted to actual physical whoring in order to obtain more gifts or pacify angry fans. One documented instance of this happened during Dragoncon when one of her many "boyfriends" agreed to pay all of her travel expenses if she agreed to spread her legs for him. Being the whore she is, JE eagerly accepted and even had several photos taken of her stupidly huge tits, holding signs and videogame discs. What she didn't anticipated was for this fan to gleefully (albeit without revealing her name) upload some of the photos to 4chan /v/ board, much to Anonymous amusement, where she was named Creeperchan after several photos where she held a small papercraft Creeper between her cow tits. Given /v/'s lack of interest for furfag matters it wasn't discovered until a later date that Creeperchan and Jessica Elwood were one and the same. Much like her camwhoring, JE keeps a vague position about this, not wanting her white knights to realize their virginal furry waifu is nothing more than a slut.

White Knights[edit]

Despite all evidence to the contrary, many furfags are shitting their brainless opinions in support of Martha all over deviantART and Fur Affinity.

Somehow, some way, there are still fucking idiot furries out there who want to show support for this lying, stealing degenerate because she draws tits. This support comes in a few different flavors, and may contain one or more of the following traits:

  • Offering support/protection to Martha
  • Saying something to the effect of "It's okay I forgive you now please draw more tits"
  • Saying something to the effect of "It's okay I forgive you now please show me your fat tits"
  • Saying something to the effect of "It's okay I forgive you now please keep showing your fat tits"
  • Saying "Who cares if she lives in Mexico? DO YOU HATE MEXICANS? U RACIST"
  • Saying "Who cares if she lied for 5+ years and scammed multiple people by accepting their money for art commissions that will never be completed? I am here for the art, and everyone should just ignore the scamming and lying and let it go on completely unhindered!!"
  • Expressing belief that Martha was actually hacked and eating right out of her greasy, dick-scented hands in the process (See below:)
   
 
this whole thing is retarded. these people are all idiots who have no life, their basically terrorists. and i hope they get reported. this is highly illegal and can go to prison or this.
 

 
 

—123bonbon

   
 
Thank you for the warning, I really hate drama. I don't care who JE is and what she/he did. I just love her/her art work so much. I just wish people can shut up and leave her/her alone
 

 
 

—DragonMistress

   
 
I'm not unwatching you just because you're trolling for some unknown reason. I'm sticking around to find out what. And I hope I'm not the only one who's willing to say, if you need to talk, I'm online and can be noted. I like to help.
 

 
 

—Mastermond

   
 
wow... you people really have no lives, taking over an account over some sorry ass porn pix and some unfinished commissions.
 

 
 

—lodarkcloud

   
 
Hackers have attacked Jessica Elwood's DA account and I'm rip roaring pissed because it is not only an illegal act but jeoperdizes the chances of me getting my commission from JE!
 

 
 

—Iron-Confederate


Another one of JE's Whitekight's tracing from her art. Lol.


FA Admins prove Elwood's IP comes from Mexico![edit]

FA admin's post

An Administrator on FA has looked into the issue and in this thread, and has confirmed the aforementioned claim that Elwood's IP traces to Mexico. This led to an edit war and more faggotry than usual on WikiFur due to butthurt white knights who can't handle the truth. Even now after Elwood confirmed that she is indeed Martha Martinez and lives in Mexico the article is constantly being revised with euphemisms to make her actions seem harmless, including describing the commissions she owes (and never had any intention of doing until being forced to) as being "tardy".

Irrefutable proof[edit]

Unless you question the source, Patriotic Nigras.

Jessica Elwood has the following Furcadia characters.

Furres for the account: jesscolaneri55@yahoo.com [ change ] 
Furres (Can expire!)
Furres with Digo Items (Won't expire!)
Amy Faust
Arawn_Annwfyn
Brynhild
Ceilidh
Devil Anzu
Erlik
Iris Thorne
Kacey Wyandotte
Kiyoko Haruhisa
Mei Fang
Nyssa Carmessi
Reizahn Heiden
Sissal Shadowleaf
Skaoi
Sun Nightshade

Did we mention those all have "Digo Items"? Means she's spent a lot of your money on each of them.

Gallery[edit]

Jessica Elwood's various identities, actual camwhoring and general bullshit About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

More of Jessica Elwood's Camwhoring About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Old Links[edit]


Portal icon whores.gif

Jessica Elwood is part of a series on

Whores

Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.

Fur series.jpg

Jessica Elwood is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Portal da.png

Jessica Elwood is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.