Jew Hat

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The coat of arms of Judenburg, Austria, featuring jew hat
Not to be confused with: Yarmulke

The Jew Hat or Judenhut is a cone-shaped pointed hat, often white or yellow which has in recent times become something of a 'little black dress' for elitist hipster kikes.


A Jew Hat depicted last Thursday.
Reinforced, handy for stonings
Jew hat parade

The below account is 100% factual according to TOW. It should also be noted that King Richard the Lionheart wasn't just anti-semetic but was also rather fond of pwning Moslems.

Although now highly fashionable, the Jew Hat wasn't always so cool; not for Jews that is. Invented at least 900 years ago in Medieval England by epic Jew ha(t)ter King Richard the Lionheart to separate the Jews from the Gentiles (since dropping trou wasn't really practical), the Jew Hat was akin to the yellow star Hitler (who totally stole from the idea from the Pope around the Spanish Inquisition) made the Jews wear in Nazi Germany.

Good King Richard had decided that his coronation was to be a guy's only affair and made a proclamation banning Jews and wimmins. Since most wimmins are easily detectable, there was no problem there, but the Jews...what to do about the Jew? Richard decided that a yellow hat with a circumcised knob on top would do the trick and made another proclamation making the Jew Hat compulsory for the Jews.

So far so good. The only problem was, that some brown-nosing money lenders decided to sneak in anyway to curry favour with the new king and upon arrival were easily spotted by their Jew Hats and Richard's courtiers stripped and flogged the Jews, then flung them out of court. Richard then ordered all Jews to be killed and the people of London began a massacre. Many Jews were beaten to death, robbed, and burned alive and Jewish homes were burned down. Several Jews were forcibly baptised.

Since having sex with Jews in Medieval Times was also deemed illegal -and thus unsafe- the Jew Hat often doubled as a Jimmy Hat or a strapon.


However, much like it now being cool for black people to wear gold chains, the Jew Hat is back baby! And the Jews are claimin' it and representin' donning the Jew Hat as a fashion statement. In your face King Dick! If you're a Jew, you should go out and get one now. It will make the wearer magically appear appealing and attractive to the ladies since it denotes that you have plenty of Jew Golds to lend at very reasonable rates.

Jew Hats Through The Ages[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

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