JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is a manga created sometime in the 1980s by some asian named Hirohiko Araki, because he had nothing better to do . This series is famous for Dio Brando. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is Shounen Jump's second longest-running manga ever, and because it is the origin of two memes, za warudo and WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, it is the only good manga to have ever been created. No exceptions (well maybe except for Fist of the North Star).
Each arc of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure follows the same plot, which consists of a member of the Joestar bloodline pissing off some faggot with at least one superhuman ability in some manner. It has eight arcs because Araki has ADHD, and these arcs are:
- Phantom Blood:
A rip off of Castlevania and Fist of North Star because Araki wrote this shit in the 80's proving he was just an untalented hack. A story about the beautiful gay love between Jonathan and Dio. Dio was born an asshole and raped by his dad so he killed JoJo's dog and raped his girlfriend. After getting his sissy British ass slapped by Jonathan's shit, Dio got butthurt and decided to become a vampire by doing some sort of satanic sacrifice shit that requires a stone mask made from some gay caveman. Jonathan later beat Dio's ass by using some bullshit Kung Fu technique named after fat pig thighs but was ambushed later by Dio on a poorly made British ship, which it blows up, leaving Dio trapped inside a coffin with Jonathan's body for at least 100 years. Jonathan's bottom bitch Erina magically survived with an asspull.
- Battle Tendency:
Araki, being the untalented hack he is, goes through his glamour magazine of things to rip off and rips off Indiana Jones. This time, Joseph Joestar, a swaglicious gangster which, unlike his sissy grandfather is now facing off evil vampire caveman of Aztec that created the mask. After learning the existence of those evil motherfucker from a guy who he just blown up with a bag of grenade, he went to Mexico to rescue his uncle SPEEEEDAWAGOOOON and met a fucking Nazi with a french accent, who later becomes a cyborg because GERMAN SCIENCE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!! Joseph later met a douchebag from Italy, who just happened to be the descendant of some Italian Kung Fu master from part 1. There is also a milf, who just happens to be Joseph's mom, which he jacked off to. Together, they had a typical Naruto training arc. In the end, Kars, the leader of team rocket trio succeed his ultimate life form, which grants him everything in world but sex and use that power to rape Joseph. However, he was fucked off by an asspull and was sent to Mars. Joseph later fucked some bitch for a daughter and the daughter banged a small asian penis and fart out a boy, and that boy will be the protagonist in:
- Stardust Crusaders:
Another shittastic sequel about some douchebag named Jotaro, who can fist with his creepy ghost sturr planshurr. He is accompany by his granddad Joseph from part 2, who can use the kung fu technique from part 1 and some silly purple tentacles that could projectile pornography on TV screen. His friend Kakyoin, a weird autistic kid who likes to rerorerorerorero his cherry and rape people with his green tentacle ghost. Avdol, an arab with silly fire chicken ghost, Polnareff, a retarded french with shitty hair with a ghost that can use a sword, and Iggy, a dog that can fart on people. Together, they will engage in Mortal Kombat with Dio, who survived from part 1 and stole Jonathan's body to rape more wimminz. Only Jotaro is able to do anything because we all know protagonist likes to do asspull, even when facing off some vampire who can stop time and drops a fucking steamroller out of no where.
Also know as Duwang's bizarre translation. It's about some kid name Jewsuke, one of Joseph's offspring after he went around the globe and rape some people. He and his gay butt body would go around causing trouble to stop people with superpowers, who were raped by some magical arrow. They later would go fight a bomb terrorist named Kira who loves sucking hand and send him to pentagon. Kira was later raped by a bunch of hands in afterlife, after getting pwned by asspulls coming from some little girl and a dog he murdered.
- Vento Aureo (Italian for "Golden Wind"):
This arc is about Dio/Jonathan's disgusting race mixing offspring name Gio, who is probably the worst Joestar since he had Jonathan's boring gene inside him. He is destined to become a pirate king/hokage/George Bush or some shit after saving a retard with gun. He joined a team of gangsta formed by some homo that licked him, who are all magic users that can either summon some silly airplane or create some super dangerous virus that can kill everything. Gio later killed the major antagonist name Diavolo with another asspull and becomes the pirate king/hokage/Geoff Knightly he always wanted.
- Stone Ocean:
Also known as the Evangelion of the series. The daughter of Jotaro named Jolyne was left in the prison to get raped thanks to his douche bag father. She was suddenly told by him to get in the fucking robot because some nigger priest is going to destroy the world. After fighting four other Dio/Jonathan's disgusting race mixing offspring, the priest succeeded by saying some religious gibberish to some ugly ass mutant baby then becomes god that can move in infinite speed, killing everyone and retcon the entire setting but lose to some kid with another retarded asspull. Oh and frogs rain, snails running around, cartoon characters are out to suck yo souls, and time is speeding up. What the fuck is going on.
- Steel Ball Run:
A complete retcon of the series because Araki realized all his previous work is an unoriginal rip off of Fist of North Star. This time, Johnny Joestar, a fucking cripple with daddy issue joined some stupid ass race named steel ball run because no one in American has an original idea but to host horse running race in eighteen-ninety-something. He joined the race because some Italian gold teeth swag name Gyro has a nice ass or something and it gives him the hard on to stand up. He would later fighting raptor Jesus, the actual french cyborg Stroheim and other retards, including the president of united states as final boss. Johnny later lost the fucking race to the same Dio from part 1, except Dio had his head turned into some sponges by a little girl with asspull. Because of that, some luckiest lazy nigger in the world was the winner. Oh and Johnny was later had his head crush by a rock. MOZZARELLA!
Some pornographic fantasy featuring Araki's newly retcon'ed self insert Jo2uke. Basically Jo2uke had the memory and balls swapped with some dead guy who happened to be Kira from alternative reality. He met a dumb slut name Yasuho Hirose, whose mom is also a slut and he got adopted by some rich prick who he later treats them like shit. Now he has discovered that he had two guys inside him because of some gay ass fruit and now there are rock mutant nigger thing that wants to kill him.
All the characters are well-designed and realistic. The protagonist of each arc always has the term "Jo" somewhere in his/her name twice. Other characters are generally named after singers or bands, Italian food, or fashion companies. Sooner or later, they're going to be named after memes. Sometimes though, Araki decides to be a normal Azn and make their names Japanese. The main characters for each arc are as follows:.
Stands are the physical manifestation of whatever super power each JoJo's character has. They first appeared in part three, and were given a name based on their color and the given tarot card. When he ran out of tarot cards, Araki started naming them after Egyptian gods. Later Araki got fucking lazy, so he decided to start naming them after songs/bands. It can be noted that Araki is a lazy fuck, and every final boss has a stand with some sort of time ability. At least 80% of these make no fucking sense without a tl;dr explanation. The final boss of part 6 involves speeding up time so fucking fast the universe resets. Meanwhile, living things don't get sped up, which leads to them getting pwnd by things as simple as automatic doors. The final boss of part 7 has a stand that allows the user to travel between dimensions.
Other Memes of Note
It was me, DIO!
Basically a Bait-and-switch that originated on tumblr from the Phantom Blood anime that goes like "You expected X, but it was me, DIO!"
Even Speedwagon is afraid
Another meme taken from the first part of the manga that has Speedwagon afraid of something because he's a little bitch.
To be continued
Based off of the ending cliffhangers in original Jojo episodes, where the song “Roundabout” by Yes would play. This shit was being used by faggots that didn’t even know Jojo existed.
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is part of a series on
Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.