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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A jock is a form of asshole/retard who has a muscular body but is not necessarily a bodybuilder, and is obsessed with sports. They most likely were the object of your ire in high school, since they no doubt kicked the crap out of You. Despite their hidden faggotry, they act ultra masculine and hate faggots, while in fact they wish they could come out.
All Jocks Are Alpha males
As legend tells it, jocks are better than you because they are alpha males, and you are on ED because you're a bottom-feeder. Contrary to what you may believe, nerds like you do not go on to become powerful captains of industry once high school is over. Butt then again that's kind of an oxymoron statement because nerds are suppose to be smart enough to know being a "captain of industry" is not worth it. "Captains of Industry" (aka dickheads in suits) usurp power they don't deserve just because they can. by using socially engineered authoritarian toad croaking patriarchal speech tones like the 2 infamous Americunt cousins Dick Cheney & Barack Obama and other parasites buttfucking the world over. Still some of you nerds have unrealistic expectations and ambitions, You would probably be better off just accepting this situation right now instead of getting your hopes up about being the next Bill Gates - Bill Gates is secretly an alpha male who pretends to be a geek on the surface.
This is all sad butt true. Fortunately, being an alpha male is WAY easier than most men think as long as they pretend to have a slight craving to be in a vagina. Some of the most tiny limp dick little chickenshit emo faggot men suffering from short man syndrome have become alpha males (i.e. Charles Manson, Pablo Picasso & Napolean Bonaparte) are some examples. The most simplest way of being an alpha male is the jock method which involves going to the gym every day, lifting weights, eating a high protein balanced nutritional diet, getting plenty of exercise and rest, and showing your throbbing dick off to females every chance you get. Niggers in America have figured this out a long time ago. That's why more interracial relationships with white women involve them fucking black men than any other kind.
Butt there are some problems once you are an alpha Male, especially an alpha male jock. Once you are an alpha male all Americunt women (lesbian or not) want to be impregnated by you and will play every dirty rotten trick there is to get you into a temporary lustful fuck buddy relationship. Once she's knocked up she will dump you like a sack of shit, and never give you any custody rights, buttrape you for alimony and child support jewgold, and will go on to have one big orgy fucking every other kind of male in the greek Alphabet she can fit into her pussy (Lesbo males with big strap-ons. Beta males, Gamma males, Delta males, Epsilon males, Zeta males, Eta males, Theta males, Iota males, Kappa males, Lambda males, Mu males, Nu males, Xi males, Omicron males, Pi males, Rho males, Sigma males, Tau males, Upsilon males, Phi males, Chi males, Psi males, and Omega males).
Jocks generally act tough and as if they have a big cock but in reality are just trying to be big because they have a baby cock. Jocks secretly fap to hentai because the sluts they say want them are too stupid to even spread their legs.
Jocks originally became popular At least 100 years ago in Greece, with the beginning of the Greek Olympic games. Common games played were wrestling (guys on guys in the nude, but somehow not ending with buttsecks), boxing, running (from teh gheys because all runners were butt naked), long jump, and other sports. These were all done with no clothes on. The Olympics were one of the big reasons that the greeks were known as fags.
In the 90's, the jocks were known as the coolest in all of society, because they looked good, had money, good grades (by cheating) and somehow were not killed by the poor or lusers. Since then, everyone has realized that jocks were assholes and now emos and goths are much more popular in high school society. However, some argue that emos and goths have never been popular.
There are female jocks, which are somewhat rarer, and much scarier as they are all dykes and no longer real women. You can usually find them playing softball. Female jocks also have no boobs, which makes them completely uninteresting to men, except for wusses that have a BDSM fetish, specifically an interest in pegging.
Jocks usually take steroids so that their penises become small, and eventually fall off. Being a jock does not require taking steroids, but they are commonly used. Organized sports is where you find most jocks, either that or low paying construction jobs, which are the only jobs most jocks can land.
Jocks as Underpants
If you think someone is a jock, then ask these questions to yourself:
- is said person an asshole?
- do they talk about "pumping iron" a lot?
- are they muscular, or "working on it"?
- do they have problems saying words with mul-ti-ple syl-la-bles?
- are they incapable of intelligent thoughts?
- are they involved in organized sports?
- are they a redneck?
- if they are male, do they have boobs?
- if they are female, do they lack boobs?
- is the only game they own "Madden"?
- do they joke about being ghey to hide the fact that they are?
- have you never talked with this person?
- do they enjoy things like: Instagram, Facebook, Jocks4lyf3.com?
- is the person a homophobe?
- have they ever said something that sounded gay but immediately tryed to cover it up by saying they were joking?
- do they fap to football?
- do they have TAPOUT clothing?
- are they okay with group showering with other guys after a sweaty football practice?
- have they ever slapped a teammates ass in any circumstance?
Jock is part of a series on Education