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Joe Somebody

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Joe trying to be Black
I carry my toy, everywhere I go boy! (including the bathroom)
OttawOntario, OttawOntario
Everything was fine until this guy showed up
In addition to his other many talents, Joe can also eat an apple through a fence
   
 
Oh oh oh, y'all don't even know. My favorite cookies is Oreos.
 

 
 

—Joe Somebody

Joe Somebody, AKA Chuggo Lite, is the latest in a long list of failed white rappers. Although much fail has already been propagated by race-confused youth in this genre, Joe manages to take it to a whole new level. Hailing from the mean streets of Ottawa, Ontario, Canadia, Joe mangles the English language like few people can.


His Career

Joe was an up and coming rap juggernaut. He had the whole world at his feet. Armed with a Myspace, a microphone from Walmart, and a karaoke machine, Joe was tearing up the Internets with his sick ass beats. As his success skyrocketed, Joe decided to make an account over at letsbeef.com. He uploaded a few of his dope jams, and occasionally entered into rap "battles" with some of the other users on the site. One day tragedy struck, though, as another wigger from Ottawa openly "dissed" Joe. Despite all of his big talk about "blowing holes" in peoples' chests, and throwing them "in da ocean," when it came right down to it, it turned out that Joe was just a big giant shit-talking pussy. He never returned to letsbeef.com from that day forward.

Joe's Big Break

Last Thursday, a YouTube user named YouTube Favicon.png cbappa1 just happened to come across one of Joe's awesome spits on an obscure little video hosting site. He immediately recognized the immense talent in this incredible artist, and quickly re-upped the video onto his YouTube channel. Needless to say, ever since that day, everyone that's come across Joe's video has been floored by this living, breathing, hip-hop powerhouse.

Rhymes

   
 
I'm feeling great, ate a big bowl of Frosted Flakes
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
Bam, slam, lookin' like I'm Peter Pan
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
She make my heart go boom, I just ate an ounce of shrooms, shrooms.
 

 
 

—Joe Somebody

   
 
What wah-what what
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
Joe Somebody, here we go buddy
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
I smoke good weed bitch! I'm from muhfuckin Canada shit.
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
Y'all know what it be about, rhymin' the words straight outta my mouth, get the fuck outta my house.
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
613 boy. I carry my toy, everywhere I go boy.
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

   
 
I just ate an ounce of shrooms, shrooms, in my motherfucking bedroom, playing nintendo
 

 
 

— Joe Somebody

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Featured article June 12, 2009
Preceded by
Jeni Ann
Joe Somebody Succeeded by
Pretty Cool Guy