John Boehner

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I'll eat your children
 

 
 

—John Boehner

THIS IS A BAILOUT SANDWICH. IT IS MADE OF $700 BILLION AND CRAP LOANS. IT IS ALSO DELICIOUS COCK AND I MUST EAT IT.

John Andrew Boehner (pronounced Boner) is the Republican House Majority Leader from the state of Ohio most notable for his orange fake tan and constant butthurt about Black Jesus's policies.

Boehner has been there to troll or BAWWWWW about everything the Obama Adminstration has done since day one, from the Bailout to Healthcare Reform. And yet in every visual appearance he seems to look like his mom fucked a carrot to make him exist.

Lulzy Sandwich Man Quotes[edit]

  • The Los Angeles Times reports:
  • "On Sunday evening, Republican House Minority Leader John A. Boehner explained his considered opinion on the $700-billion Wall Street bailout plan:


   
 
It's a "crap sandwich," he said, but he was going to eat it."
 

 
 

  • THIS IS A BAILOUT SANDWICH. IT IS MADE OF $700 BILLION + OF CRAP LOANS AND WE WILL ALL EAT NOT EAT IT.

Time and time again, Boehner has argued that President Obama's economic policies are failures. On August 24, 2010, Boehner suggested that Obama fire his economic team and reinstate the Bush Tax Breaks for the wealthy. To which Obama and everyone who was still unemployed told him to shut the fuck up.


Political Controversies[edit]

In June 1995, Boehner provoked contentions of unethical conduct when he distributed campaign contributions from tobacco industry lobbyists on the House floor as House members were weighing how to vote on tobacco subsidies. Boehner eventually led the effort to change House rules and prohibit campaign contributions from being distributed on the House floor so that next time he did it he wouldn't get caught.

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