Grand 16 Shooting

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(Redirected from John Russel Houser)
Jump to: navigation, search
Budd Dwyer.gif
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Death comes soon to the financially failing filth farm called the US


John Houser
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore Killed 2, injured 9
Top 50? No, not even Top 100. #113
Style Single player
An Hero? Yes

July 24th, 2015 was a typical day in America. An innocent, hard working middle aged white man living in Lafayette, Louisiana went to the local theater to kick back, relax and enjoy the hilarious new Amy Schumer flick he's been meaning to watch. Like with Dylann Roof, a group of savages begun to provoke and attack him. With no way to calm the horde, our hero, John Russel Houser, reluctantly had no choice but to free himself using the liberating power provided by a firearm. When the fierce standoff was finished, our hero slayed two feminazi aggressors before taking a swig of pistol mouthwash to avoid being lynched and eaten alive by these horrific uncivilized brutes.

Some Argue that the shooting was a false flag set up by Amy Schumer but that would imply that she is intelligent enough to come up with a hoax.


John was a 59 year old mentally ill redneck who's illness was so severe, that his wife hid his guns and his family had him forcibly locked up by the men in white coats; they even got a restraining order. In the 1990s, Mr. Houser often went on local TV shows, advocating for violence against filthy feminist cunts involved with abortion. If you don't know, abortion is responsible for the collective mass murder of over 60 million innocent Americans. Mr. Houser, is nothing short of a hero. He also wanted to keep women out of the workplace, which shows that he wanted women to be safe and for families to remain strong. He also supported Adolf Hitler, and anti-government positions at the same time. His "extremist" views were used to fight against bleeding heart liberals for the lulz.

Sometime in 2014, John bought a shitty hi-point (the same manufacturers of the shit-tier rifle Eric Harris used) .40 caliber pistol at a pawn shop in Alabama, despite having a very detailed rapsheet of violence and mental illness. As you see, all these pussy laws like the Brady Bill do not prevent any massacres but encourage innocent Americans to be nothing more than defenseless fleshbags.

John was blacklisted from his traitorous degenerate family, and like many unfortunate Americans, found it difficult to survive in the workforce crushed by hyper-capitalistic nose niggers. With little options for survival, he turned to his mother and asked for help; he received 5,000 shekels and set out on an adventure, eventually finding himself in Louisiana, living in a cheap motel while trying to recollect himself. He was very active on the internet, and often posted wise words of wisdom such as these;

John's Posts[edit]

It is possible, you might be the only one on the internet that has gotten through the censors. Though you probably are no less than a government information gathering devise, I will tell you how happy I am that the yield on the 10 year tres note is almost 3%. The end comes, and I love it!



—Messages posted in December 2013.

America is so sick that I now believe it to be the enemy of the world. I know next to nothing about Iran, but the little I do know tells me they are far higher morally than this financially failing filth farm.



—The goyim know..

The financial failings of the US, and the bleak outlook, are known to the world. The average person in the US has not however figured out that the US is employing censorship of the internet. If you type in NEWSPAPERS PUBLISHED IN IRAN, you will see about thirty such publications, none of which are published in their entirety, and none which your computer will translate. It might be permissible to put some political remark at the top of each page claiming bias, but to blackout all is nothing short of base censorship.



—John preaches the truth

Type in any key words indicating the US practices censorship, and you will get magazine articles about the claims of censorship in Iran,North Korea, etc. You will not be able to find one scintilla of evidence the US would dream of it.



—more truth

Type in WHITE POWER GROUPS and you get mag articles about their never ending claims of racism, and no information of how to find White power groups you might want to join. I could go on for months. My point? Censorship coupled with brainwashing, is always present before the fall of a significant political entity.Put this together with our newly found financial reality, and you’ve got notice of things to come.



—and nothing but the truth.

The Last Day[edit]

After driving to the theater, John watched Trainwreck for half an hour before being forced up by his sapient firearm, and forced against his will to attempt mass murder. Police have arrested the suspect and are working on selling it to Mexican drug cartels for a quick buck. Unsurprisingly, shooting up a romantic comedy flick resulted in primarily female injuries and deaths. John has proven himself as a valuable asset to the MRA cause everywhere, but he will never be anywhere near as good as Marc Lepine.

Graded Score[edit]

Graded score
Kills: 2/20
Accuracy: 18/20 2 kills and 9 injuries with 13 shots
Style: 12/20 Showing justified frustration to a shitty "Train Wreck" of a chick flick.
Butthurt: 8/20 near-perfect timing to the 3rd aniv. of the Aurora shooting
Bonus: 15/20 An hero bonus and for targeting feminazis.
Total score: 55/100 (F)
So close... Try again in Hell, faggot.
See full ranking

Wanted Level

Police Force

Attempt #2[edit]

On August 5th of 2015, another mentally ill motherfucker tried to copycat James Holmes. This time, the perpetrator was armed only with a Pellet gun and a bronze hatchet. He attempted to make the local screening of Mad Max more realistic, but managed to only get himself killed. The autist was a 29 year old hobo who pepper sprayed 2 chicks, showing that he might've been partially influenced by Chris Chan as well. There were no serious injuries besides the autist getting pwn'd by police.

See Also[edit]

External link[edit]

Grand 16 Shooting is part of a series on High Scores
[Game OverInsert Coin]
Single Player

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikAriana Grande MassacreAurora Theatre ShootingBaruch GoldsteinBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBrenton TarrantBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCampo Elías DelgadoCharles BishopCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-MercerDavid KatzDavid LongDan "The Twinkie Man" WhiteDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDevin Patrick KelleyDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerFort HoodGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniJack Gilbert GrahamJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJeffrey DahmerJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLuby's massacreMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael RyanMikese MorseMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMr. SaariMutsuo ToiNasim AghdamNghtmrchld26Nice Truck Attack 2016Nickolas CruzOmar MateenOsama bin LadenPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRandy StairRaoul MoatReina Nightclub MassacreRobert BalesRobert Gregory BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSam HydeStephen PaddockTed BundyThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneUnabomberVirginia Tech MassacreVladislav RoslyakovWade Michael PageZac Penton

Co-Op Mode

Boston Marathon BombingColumbineDallas Sniper AttacksJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisTimothy McVeigh


Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetHolocaustJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongPol PotSaddam HusseinWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Billy MitchellTodd Rogers


Featured article July 26 and 27, 2015
Preceded by
Grand 16 Shooting Succeeded by
Alan Sullivan