Justin.tv

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ED CLEANER 2.jpg This article needs a serious clean up

Somebody should do something about it.

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Hey everybody, let's go to Justin.tv and watch illegal PPV streams before the WWE can SmackDown the channels faster than Hulk Hogan can inject his steroids, brother!
 

 
 

Justin.tv was a Web 2.0 AIDS infested nest of failed Ivy League bloggers, needy camwhores, and a whole lot of faggotry created by some Azn named Justin Kan from San Francisco[1]. The new term for being on webcam 24/7 is called "lifecasting" or "vlogging or vlogger a/k/a vlog" rather than the archaic "camwhore".

The typical lifecaster protocol is to put up a donate link and then work some empathy into the end user. This causes the user to contribute their hard earned dollar thinking they have helped satisfy whatever need the fat slut is crying over at the time. Most of these sluts and faggots buy iPhones with their donations even if they originally said it was to buy a new wheelchair.

The sad thing is that this shit stain site hasn't gone the way of the dot-com bubble burst and basically die off, instead its celebrating a year of faggotry since the site is now over a year old. The azns realised that basement dwellers playing video games made more money and replaced it with something even shittier, Twitch.

The Beginning[edit]

Originating as a project to observe an Azn talking to people about the internets, JTV evolved into a rudimentary MySpace complete with a live webcam feed and IRC chat. Anyone can now broadcast as lifecasters and engage in a common form of internet panhandling: begging for paypal donations to "go mobile" (see: free iPhone).

Since open broadcasting is available to the entire internet public, several interesting events (aside from the trolls below) have occurred, including but not limited to:

  • live Terri Schiavo broadcast
  • faggot 4-channer streaming as "AnonymousTV" with a bag over his head
  • couples having hardcore sex
  • woman in her 40s or 50s exposing her rather large breasts
  • 19 year old in Florida OD-ed and became an hero

Raids[edit]

Giving in to /b/

As is standard procedure in such matters, /b/tards and others have trolled the broadcasters with the usual repertoire of internet memes, including but not limited to: put shoe on head, mudkipz, do a barrel roll, etc. However, just like normal /b/ raids, everyone gives up once they're banned after 15 seconds of hardcore super-meme terrorizing.

Example of a /b/ raid on a justin.tv channel:

 <4chan1> DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
 <4chan2> DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
 <4chan3> MUDKIPZ LOL DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
 niggertv sets mode +m on #niggertv

Sadly anyone who enjoyed trolling on JTV are locked down and banned quicker than it used to be. Though there are some who will entertain the shoe on head, show feet, boobs, show stomach, show ass, etc requests.

IRL Trolling[edit]

Going beyond the typical repetition of old memes, some hackers and internet detectives have used the site as a unique opportunity to troll people and then watch their live reactions.

Methods used so far:

  • Using IP-relay to have the local SWAT team raid their house
  • Caller ID spoofing between Justin.tv users and using their handles when calling; when the lifecaster is asked to tell the chat what number is harassing them they inadvertently give out someone else's number
  • Hacking voice mailboxes
  • Installing keyloggers via recent browser vulnerabilities
  • Ordering lifecasters Chinese food, pizzas, plumbers, locksmiths, strippers, singing telegrams, and much more!

Groups claiming responsibility

You too can be a loser and a STD carrier[edit]

From defunct Justin.tv gossip site:

> Springbreak JTV Style
> *Awwww this is a piece I just love. One of my feel good JTV pieces. of the week. I loved watching their broadcasts and it brings a smile to my face instantly when I look as some of the pictures I snapped and when I watch some of the highlight clips.
> *Five of some of the cutest & sweetest JTV broadcasters are spending part of their Spring Break in beautiful Orlando, Florida. Lex (LexFletcher), Nikki (Itsallcouture), Yvette (LadyMixTape), Arnaud (FromParis)and Dennis (Kioken). It was so much fun watching people meet for the first time -- especially JTV friends.
> *There might still be time to catch a broadcast of the group. Check out their awesome special events channel designed by one of their wonderfully creative fans -- Maddie -- yes -- the same Maddie that does Dennis' awesome banners! Their next broadcast is scheduled for Saturday night March 22 @10PM on JTV United.

The Moar you know[edit]

As of 2/9/2008, Justin.tv has implemented DoD level defenses to ensure all the previous trolling is contained and restrained before it can happen. Some users do not care if you come into their room and troll or whatever but the ones now who are the camwhores and other attention getters snipe that shit real quick either by their kiss ass moderators or whine and cry to the Asian man himself.

  • New rules allow for keywords to be auto removed in user's room
  • Password protection for rooms so that camwhores can masturbate their ego without being bothered by other lower level members or persons
  • Room bans can be up to at least 24 hours, so if you decide to go and multi-troll a few rooms then be prepared to spend 24 hours of not requesting "shoe on head"
  • Rooms auto-mute or ban any URLs posted
  • Be sure to make many sock puppets so that in case one account goes dead or muted then you have to be ready to jump back to action

Special Section dedicated to E-Tard[edit]

http://e-tard.tv[edit]

  • Has his own special section on this page about this pile of e-shit
  • This guy is a real example of how American taxpayer dollars are wasted so this fucking pile of shit can be home all day with his daddy and play shitty music in the background, act like an internet lawyer when someone else decides to make a parody page of him and he goes crying to JTV. Apparently he was able to con some girl to come visit him in January to go suck his small penis, her privated channel is rachel82.
  • Apparently this freak has a profile at vampirefreaks, and likes to rave and was a former drug user, what a real fucking winner, eh?
  • Has his Justin.tv cam streaming on over 9,000 web pages that he fucking owns, even his vampirefreaks page has his god awful mug on there live.
  • Hey guess what kids, apparently this cockfuck has decided to leave justin.tv but sadly his AIDS infested SSI living self still broadcasts on his other faggotry filled cam sites.
  • E-Tard moved to ustream.tv when will his mom take away his internet and tell him to get a job.
  • E-tard got raided by Canadians LOL [2]
  • Update Nov-22-2010 RE-Tard has left ustream.tv and now moved to livestream.com
  • Here are his other links Twitter, MySpace, YouTube.
  • re-tards irc server irc://irc.e-tard.tv/E-TARD
  • re-tards Google Phone # (650)-38E-TARD he has his name in the # what a loser
  • From http://justintvgossip.blogspot.com/

E-Tard - okay I have never spoken about E-Tard -- but I FUCKING SO FUCKING BADLY need to now. (Wasn't getting enough page views) He is mean and nasty, I have no evolved past a First grade mentality yet, and do not belong on the internet. I have known this for sometime now -- because he banned me from his room once (See: Butthurt ) -- during a little pouting session where he wasn't casting because JTV made him put the 18+ filter on his room. He had a snarky little written response scrolling on his channel, almost as clever as me, but not close enough, for you see, I am god and the center of your world, I accept no imitations. The teacher in me was appalled at the MANY spelling errors (See: Grammar Nazi ). So my special JTV account had to make a visit to set him straight (How to get one of these accounts: Sign up like any other user) -- in a gentle way. He didn't like my kind suggestions and he banned me.Don't capitalize lol faggot. (See: Unwarranted Self importance Or Douchebaggery )

> E-TARD Says:
> 23.03.08 at 4:18 pm
> Hi my name is E-TARD. I was one of the top lifecaster on JTV, but the admins of JTV turned on me and banned me because I got sick of users jacking live TV like ESPN TNT WWE SHOWTIME & HBO etc… Doing that is illegal and also was killing the website. One channel showing ESPN would have like 9,000 viewers there for killing the website to the point where me and other members could not stay live. So I took things into my own hands and e-mailed ESPN, WWE, Showtime, and HBO telling them what was going on. As I’m sure you know the owners of those TV channels were not happy about it. JTV found out what I was doing and banned me. When I was banned from JTV I had somewhere around 600,000 profile hits. I started on JTV back when it was in the beta code days, but 4 weeks later they opened for anyone to join, and I was cool with that. Just as long as people are not using it to jack live TV. If you want to do that then go out and download TVU.
> anonymous
> Can’t you get it to your head that you are a rude and mean person. You have yelled at every admin and even tried to ban them. No, you are not a top broadcaster. You have banned almost everyone on JTV. Move on and stop whining. And sorry to tell you, Apple, inc. will not get a hostile takeover.
> anonymous
> The main reason E-TARD got banned was because he was disrespectful to the people working at JTV. I have been in his room during the times he has called the JTV admins and even the staff vulgar names. He bothers them 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. They got fed up with him. And what business does he have to even complain about the sports channels? Let JTV deal with it. Does he own JTV? He’s whining because he loves to have people looking at his face while being banned from his room. His bandwidth is getting used up. So, why does he post is streaming video feed on 30 blogs? That uses bandwidth too. He’s a moron dictator.

The Attention Whores/Failures of life[edit]

Alyssum[edit]

Alyssym

Missalyssum was a lifecaster. She made her debut mid 2007 where her main form of entertaining was talking to chatters whilst broadcasting herself eating, shitting, getting bitch slapped by her younger brother, and singing along to irrelevant songs, practically doing nothing. Occasionally, she would show a tad bit of cleavage here and there, giggling, and smiling; the usual slutty/preppy lingo.

AmberLive[edit]

Playing the not-so-wholesome 16 year old internet slut, she begged for money so that she could "go mobile" and shake her B-cup tits for 50 year old internet creeps. The trolls initially began calling her, but soon pizzas, Chinese food, and the fire department paid her and her mother a visit. During one cam session she was sitting out front on her porch when the pizza showed up and she started screaming, thinking it was her stalker, "WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?" She makes occasional appearances on her whore sister AshleyMarie's cam. Amberlive has started to broadcast on her cam, but any attempts just end in fail because of her internet tough-guy friends.

AshleyMarie[edit]

Sisters AshleyMarie & Amber

Surprisingly AmberLive has a Sister. Sadly, she won't be bringing any balance to the force either. This girl pretty much makes MySpace graphics and does it for a living. AshleyMarie used to be in love with another caster, BOBTV. They met via MySpace and lived together. Bob would leave his cam on so other geeks could watch him work at his websites. The couple would often take there laptops out while visiting restaurants and broadcast to the world. In December while decorating, AshleyMarie and BobTV got into a fight live on cam, Ashley did not want the cam on. BobTV screamed at her and called her a stupid cunt. The couple would appear on and off at JTV for the next few months. On April 15, AshleyMarie appeared on cam with a new man in her life, DAVE. BobTV was currently in San Francisco with KrystylTV, Jspin and visiting the JTV offices. DAVE boasted that he just had sex with Ashley in Bob's Bed. Bob was currently stalking Ashley in her chatroom. AmberLive was enjoying turning the cam onto Ashley and Dave to make Bob jealous. BobTV would reply with comments about his new girlfriend, rumored to be KrystylTV.

Too bad no one gives a shit about these two, but both girls have their ass kissing fans to defend them. Some of these losers like to act all internet tough-guy in an instant. Any attempt to remind Ashley of how stupid her sister was by referencing this ED article results in her (sometimes Amber comes on her cam page) to become silent. They seem to not acknowledge the past too if someone asks more than once (AmberLive was quoted as once saying "I know nothing about that" when someone clearly posted her home address).

AudraTV[edit]

A college student who had some moderation issues in her chat. Many users were banned or silenced for arbitrary reasons, so one of them pulled her dox and decided to call her instead. Such an act was deliciously ironic, given that she tried to keep her information private and would not disclose her college or city. The caller told her to unban certain users and eventually had her pissed off at her own moderators. Once everyone was unbanned, they resumed the put shoe on head requests, which were denied until the phone rang again.

Chickinglasses[edit]

An ugly, zit-ridden daycare-worker and her hairy boyfriend who had to remake their account after previous drama. One night, after viewing prank phone calls to other lifecasters, they made the mistake of taunting the mysterious caller to find their number and call them. Of course, anonymous delivered and the pair promptly shat themselves... but not before calling the spoofed number in the middle of the night.

Gamer Retards On The Loose[edit]

Harmonized[edit]

Another JTV vlog loser, USMC too unless they kicked her out or whatever, another shit stained HTML produced page with really gay survey, oh and for the lulz ask to show her feet or boobs cause she Banhammers for that or lets her ass kissers do it before she sees any negative butt-hurt.

HonestGuy[edit]

A stoner bum living on government disability welfare in his mother's garage while lifecasting. His main reason for lifecasting is faking his brother's illness and asking for donations while preaching the magical uses of medical marijuana.

His first run in with trolls involved a user named pump4life claiming affiliation with the group Penis Pump. pump4life or commonly referred to as just "pump" managed to socially engineer his drug dealer friend into believing that Honestguy had lost his phone at a bus stop and wanted to call him to be able to return it. Like all chronic losers he fell for the trapt and gave up his dox.

After the first prank call spoofed as his friend's number he quickly called his friend back to figure out what the fuck was going on. His friend stupidly recited the number that called him and they went on a detective hunt to find the guy and "fuck him up". Honestguy called the number (which was of course spoofed from his local area code) and threatened an old lady who had no idea what the hell was going on. He then went on a rant about going around the corner to the gun shop to "get protected" and wanting to show up at the spoofed number's address. As for his own safety, he mentions that he has a 10-foot fence around his house (an upgraded version of closing the curtains) and 5 dogs. In true black person fashion, he couldn't go without claiming that it might be justin.tv's fault that he got called, even mentioning a possible lawsuit.

Later pump apparently had been spoofing calls to other justin.tv users as Honestguy. The only documented exchange between him and one of the pissed off lifecasters was between some guy whose mother called Honestguy and threatened to call the cops on him. Hilarity ensued as the dumbass was too afraid to have him call again but Honestguy offered to have the guy call him back. Seizing the opportunity, pump4life then called Honestguy pretending to be the idiot's dad and socialed his number out of him. More lulz ensued as Honestguy claimed that the FBI was investigating and that he was filing multiple police reports. It seems a bit odd that someone growing and selling marijuana would want the FBI anywhere near.

Apparently this pothead bum works for Justin.tv now. He got hired so he can get Justin the best weed to smoke and finally upgrade his cardboard box to a hotel room.

Loveless[edit]

When not calling other lifecasters to harass them (see above), loveless is an art school student with a case of internet disease. As she is neither attractive nor popular, she is excluded from many of the lulzier shenanigans on justin.tv; however, she did notice this article:

Rubixkuber09 a/k/a Rubixkuber07[edit]

16 year old girl who likes to munch carpet, spend all fucking day doing Rubik's cubes, and making out with her girlfriend. First was on rubixkuber07 page until people started to bust her for making out with her girlfriend online.

Sarahisnifty[edit]

See sarahisnifty

Gallery[edit]

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