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What happens when you mix wannabe guido with furry? Many a user has wondered if such an abomination could exist, yet among the yiff infested bowels of Furaffinity emerged Cristiano Denielo-Mcciano Roberts otherwise known as Jwolfsky. He is a fat homosexual furfaggot currently residing in Colorado, famous for being the king of overreacting and swinging his smelly balls in the faces of his friends, family, and league of special worshippers. When he's not pretending he's in the mafia and stating he has "connections", he's busy fapping to foot fetish furry porn and tracing his over priced commissions. He gained popularity on FA because of his super cool "paw" pictures and his unique ability to create a clusterfuck of idiocy where ever he lurks.
He is often accompanied by his girlfriend Tape, who will defend his sorry ass every time he gets himself in trouble. When you think he's done flapping his vagina about, he throws you for a loop and starts even more shit. Turns out she finally got an ounce of sense and dumped him. She probably got tired of puking in her mouth constantly because he wears a single pair of socks for two months straight.
Be sure to remind him of how he can't keep a relationship and how he's a sad, lonely little piece of shit.
— Jwolfsky, an articulate gentleman.
The Douche Himself
All actual facts about Jwolf are hard to come by as nearly everything he states about himself is a lie. Legend has it that he was born in Italy, or so he fucking wishes. Although he is mexican he is somehow under the impression that he is full blown spaghetti sucking greaseballer guido mob member. He is part of the ItalianFurs group on FA to legitimize this. He insists that his name is Cristiano even though we all know it's Christian. This fits him better because he is also a bible thumper, despite the fact that he sucks cock and sodomizes small children.
Jwolfsky now hovers his fatass in the city of Fort Collins, Colorado, handling bananas at King Soopers. This isn't his first job, however, because he's too busy stuffing his face with toes to hold steady employment. He has quit multiple jobs because they "just didn't fit him". Even at 20 years old he has no real sources of income, so he constantly begs for money from his parents. In fact, all of his past jobs were just so beneath him that he quit.
In no instance should he ever be trusted, because he has already totaled two cars, one that his parents give him, and his girlfriend's car.
Sadly she is too stupid to leave him because of this. Either that or she knows if she leaves the kitchen her ass will get beaten. Now he is alone to writhe in his own tears, lard and festering socks.
— Jwolfsky. that makes it okay, right?
As expected by a popufur, any artwork Jwolfsky shits out is instantly worshiped by his circle jerk of feet sniffing fans. Last Thursday Jwolf created a deviantart account, which is full of lulzy old pictures and terrible anatomy. Keep in mind, these were made in 2006; his newer artwork is much better.
Awww, his brother was mean to him. How sad.
This faggotry lasted for quite a while. He was having a great time on deviantart sucking toes and snorting sock juices, but not all was sunny in the land of stinky furry feet. Skipp100 noticed people weren't kissing his ass like they used to. This was probably because they figured out he was a douche. The only logical way to reason with his depleting watchers was to throw a shitstorm and leave DA for all eternity. He likened this "Last Appearence" to his character Skipp passing away, presumably in a pile of his own saliva and fecal matter, never to be seen again. He couldn't do this without drawing a lovely picture and bitching about his farewell in the artist comments.
—Skipp100, not being a dramafur.
Of course, Jwolfsky realized that he can't go through life without his cunt being licked by his fellow sick-fuck brethren, so this absence from the Internet didn't last very long. Soon he turned his chubby tits to a certain little site called Furaffinity. But this time, he knew he would really have to rack up some pageviews. His work was at a skill level equivalent to a five year old. The plan of action was an easy one: start tracing to pretend he was good. Now his foot pictures would actually look somewhat decent and assist with profit. Regardless of his cheating all of his traces are still vomit inducing. If he isn't tracing he's blatantly ripping off Hushhusky's style.
Drama and Lulz
Jwolfsky is much like a whiny little brat when he doesn't get his way. As soon as anything related to him is treated with even a hint of negativity, he explodes in a colorful firework of swearing and retardation. If any drama is created, he always calls in his girlfriend to whiteknight for him because he has a problem fighting his own battles. This results in twice the lulz and moar to screencap. You can expect there to be a flaming response if anything of the following is mentioned:
- Your forgotten commission
- Your forgotten trade
- "This looks traced."
- Jokes about him and his girlfriend
- A critique of his art
- How sexy his feet are
- The price of his commissions
The funniest thing about Jwolfsky is that he claims to hate drama of any kind. He always talks about "furfags and their stupid drama" but fails to realize that he is the very thing that he hates. This is painfully obvious to everyone else yet he doesn't see it. More evidence of his hypocrisies lies in his discontent with "creepers" and "creepy comments". Because obsessing over someone's feet stank ttly isn't creepy at all, Skippy.
Once upon a time, a user named Dominodingo called him out on his shitty foot fetish porn pictures, stating the truth that sexy pictures are meant to be fapped to, and if it isn't sexy, you can't fap to it. This resulted in a page bomb of immature responses from Jwolf and Tape in their usual group retardation. Tons of furfags got involved and argued about it. Jwolf failed to see the error of his ways and baaaw'd all the way home.
RustySteele vs the Feet Master
You would think he'd learn at this point. But, all negative comments are personal attacks to this kid, and he will bring his entire force of 3 brain cells to make sure that you know you hurt his feelings and that you should feel bad. A perfect example would be his relationship with Rustysteele. As a fellow sick-fuck, Rusty watched him and fapped to Jwolf's fetish pictures. But, Rusty believed that Skip's commissions were priced too high. He quietly voiced his opinion several times, hoping that out of the goodness of his heart he might make them cheaper so he could indulge in some disgusting commissions. Jwolfsky did not like this, and immediately hid every comment by Rusty and made a baaaw journal that will go down in the history books.
Since he had hidden the original comments, most of his watchers had no fucking clue what was going on, but Rusty tried to comment and apologize. That being said, you know Skippy blew up in his face and hid everything Rusty said in THIS journal. Skippy denied that the journal was about him and that Rusty was the idiot for commenting. This wasn't a surprise, seeing as it's everybody else's fault besides Skippy's. Sadly the screen-caps were taken after the fallout, so much of the lulz was lost. However some scraps of drama were salvaged, and a handful comments were copy-and-pasted before Skippy deleted the journal.
Thankfully for us, there were actually some sane users that found the journal. Not blinded by foot fetish obsession, they were flabbergasted at Skippy's etiquette and were surprised that one person could be so stupid. They reacted accordingly. Can't say the same for Jwolfsky.
Before the argument could get any farther, the journal was deleted and so was any hopes of getting through to this idiot. A new journal replaced it, saying nothing besides "Sup guys. Yeah. Got one more spot left. Claim it if you want it by noting me or commenting :) Only people interested please :)" . He resorted to his usual M.O. and tried to hide everything and smooth it over like nothing happened. Because remember, furfags and their drama are so annoying and he is nothing like that.
- Jwolfsky avidly speaks of how much pot he smokes, whether it be journals, art comments, or the 420furs group page. He thinks that smoking mary jane and posting about it makes him a super coor edgy furry hipster. He doesn't realize that weed is a drug for cowards like him and he should try crystal meth sometime. But then his beautiful spray tanned skin might get ruined.
- During the Yiffy Leaks of 2010, Dragoneer's notebox spilled over in a fury of loose words and flying fur. Among the wreckage, there were messages of people trying to report other users. Apparently someone tried reporting Jwolfsky before because of some drama we missed.
—Syrus Wolfe. Pure god? Where did you get that impression?
Skip vs Cyber Chat log
At least 100 years ago Skippy got in a slap-fight with his butt buddy CyberHarpie2. The chat log is juicy but it is VERY TL;DR so prepare.
[+]Beware all who click here
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:36:14 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Hey. Just letting you know that what you did this morning was not cool
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:36:36 PM] CyberHarpie2: Understandable.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:37:02 PM] CyberHarpie2: It wasn't my best attempt at poking and teasing. I was just a bit too frisky waking up.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:38:15 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Sounds more like an excuse to me. Do you honestly have a problem with me or something because that's far from playful teasing; in fact, you're not even close enough to me to even tease me in a playful manner.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:39:12 PM] CyberHarpie2: That is a bit hypocritical from what I've seen of you.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:39:19 PM] Skippy Howlyr: How so/
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:39:32 PM] CyberHarpie2: I actually do have a bit of a problem with you that spawned those jabs.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:40:21 PM] CyberHarpie2: You claim to be an amazing friend and a loveable guy... but you tend to do that when you know you can get something out of someone, and when that person lose their luster, you dump them.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:40:45 PM] CyberHarpie2: You crave attention. You don't take responsibility for when things go wrong.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:40:44 PM] Skippy Howlyr: When did I ever do that?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:40:59 PM] CyberHarpie2: You use people and play with their feelings.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:41:26 PM] CyberHarpie2: You are a hypocrit. You preach things and then do the opposite such as with drinking and smoking.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:41:32 PM] Skippy Howlyr: How do I use people? Please show me good examples and legit facts to where you are making these crazy assumptions
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:42:07 PM] CyberHarpie2: You bail out on trades.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:42:14 PM] Skippy Howlyr: I do?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:42:43 PM] CyberHarpie2: You play around with Hike and ignore him. You have really caused him pain, which is awful.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:42:51 PM] CyberHarpie2: Yes
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:43:01 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Hmm..I don't believe I bailed out on one trade :P
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:44:07 PM] CyberHarpie2: You don't finish things all the time such as a lot of things in your work and progress journal. You just stopped mid way through a bunch of paw pictures and moved onto something else.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:45:36 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Let it be known that they are FREE sketches and I'm not obligated to do them if I have something else to work on. I scratced 2 free paw sketches and my watchers understood that; you know why? Because I personally noted them all
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:46:01 PM] CyberHarpie2: Sure....
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:46:19 PM] CyberHarpie2: Here is another nail in your coffin.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:46:38 PM] CyberHarpie2: Do you remember when we had our last fight?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:46:41 PM] Skippy Howlyr: My progress list hasn't been updated in awhile and everything is in working process and why do you care so much? lol
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:01 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Yeah, I remember
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:06 PM] CyberHarpie2: From what I remember, you told Seppy about what I said and the two of you began attacking me.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:15 PM] CyberHarpie2: CyberHarpie2 (cyberharpie2) is offline
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:23 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Maybe because you were going out of line?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:23 PM] CyberHarpie2: Messages will be delivered when the buddy goes online.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:25 PM] CyberHarpie2: CyberHarpie2 (cyberharpie2) is online
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:47:42 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Maybe because you were going out of line and running your mouth?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:48:01 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Just like you are right now?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:48:13 PM] CyberHarpie2: You whined to a bunch of other people who had nothing to do with it, which shows how petty you are.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:48:26 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'll respond to that in a sec.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:48:42 PM] CyberHarpie2: He is what sets you off as a total douche.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:48:48 PM] CyberHarpie2: Seppy never sent me a note.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:48:48 PM] Skippy Howlyr: And you're bringing up old drama why? Heh, we already solved it an it was in the past. I didn't whine to people, I just showed them a perfect example of a dude freaking out over nothing
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:49:12 PM] CyberHarpie2: You were using his account to attack other people.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:49:34 PM] CyberHarpie2: You hid behind a mask that was another friend. That is low and despicable.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:49:51 PM] CyberHarpie2: You never take responsibility for anything you say or do.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:49:57 PM] Skippy Howlyr: >.> okay? funny I never did that, but since you know me SO well, then okay :P
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:50:08 PM] Skippy Howlyr: I never do? lol
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:50:20 PM] CyberHarpie2: You blame others for everthing.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:50:22 PM] Skippy Howlyr: I do?
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:50:36 PM] CyberHarpie2: Seppy told me you used his account, which you are ignoring.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:00 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Cause you bothered him to the point where he had to lie to you in order for you to shut up
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:12 PM] CyberHarpie2: You are ignoring everything I'm saying because you are unwilling to see your faults because of your pride.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:27 PM] CyberHarpie2: I never bother him at all. He messaged me months later.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:27 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Because none if it is true, it's just you running your mouth
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:29 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Just like last time
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:46 PM] CyberHarpie2: You are so pathetic.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:54 PM] CyberHarpie2: You can't see that you have a huge flaw.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:51:59 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Okay? lol
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:52:12 PM] CyberHarpie2: I see my flaws and admit them which is a hell lot more than I can say about you.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:52:46 PM] Skippy Howlyr: I do admit my flaws; I'm not perfect, but what you are saying about me is not true :P
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:53:04 PM] CyberHarpie2: You crave attention, and you CANNOT deny that. Why else would you treat your FA page like a myspace? Are you inviting stalkers? You probably loves those eyes on you.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:53:10 PM] Skippy Howlyr: LMAO
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:53:12 PM] Skippy Howlyr: woooooooooow
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:53:29 PM] Skippy Howlyr: really? lol
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:54:05 PM] CyberHarpie2: Talking with you is laughable. Do you know that? You are such a hypocrit.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:54:29 PM] CyberHarpie2: You can't stand sluts and haters. I guess you hate mirrors.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:54:37 PM] Skippy Howlyr: XD
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:54:44 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Keep going, dude! :3
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:55:00 PM] CyberHarpie2: Okay then.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:55:17 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm going into caddy bitch mode. You were warned.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:55:26 PM] CyberHarpie2: You are so unattractive.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:55:36 PM] CyberHarpie2: All of my gal friends think so.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:55:59 PM] CyberHarpie2: We watched your youtube videos of your lip synching and laughed.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:56:36 PM] CyberHarpie2: I really couldn't watch more than a few seconds when I watched them alone because they were all so creepy with your awkward face, creepy smile and bad hair.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:56:55 PM] CyberHarpie2: I was forced by my friends to watch all of one because they couldnt' stop laughing at you.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:57:22 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Yeah cause my main motive ws to look attractive in those videos! I guess it slipped your mind that I was intending to be an idiot, but I digress; keep going! :3 This is funny
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:57:57 PM] CyberHarpie2: Keep laughing.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:58:30 PM] CyberHarpie2: I guess it is the only thing you can say to mask the fact that someone can dislike you are see through your trickery.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:58:47 PM] CyberHarpie2: Honestly, you are so disingeniune it makes my skin crawl.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:59:13 PM] CyberHarpie2: I talk about you with my friends about everything to say on FA and laugh.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:59:31 PM] Skippy Howlyr: You're cool, dude! lol
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:59:46 PM] CyberHarpie2: Excuse me.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 03:59:43 PM] Skippy Howlyr: We back in Jr High or something? XD
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:00:16 PM] CyberHarpie2: I think you never left high school and lusting to be adored by everyone around you. X3
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:00:56 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Yeah..lol cause my "Rocky Mountain HS Graduate 09
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:01:07 PM] Skippy Howlyr: doesn't say I graduated in your head
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:01:12 PM] Skippy Howlyr: or me graduating with honors
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:01:19 PM] Skippy Howlyr: want me to take a pic of my diploma? :3
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:01:36 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm not saying you didn't graduate.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:01:51 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm saying you still have that popular guy mentality.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:03:04 PM] Skippy Howlyr: I have to be in HS to have a lot of friends? Hmm..I don't think so :P
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:03:39 PM] CyberHarpie2: You completely misinterpretted what I said. :P
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:03:42 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm not surprised.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:03:46 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Oh no
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:03:49 PM] Skippy Howlyr: I get what you mean
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:03:52 PM] Skippy Howlyr: It seems like you don't
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:04:09 PM] Skippy Howlyr: "still have the popular guy mentality"
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:04:13 PM] Skippy Howlyr: you are referring to HS
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:04:30 PM] CyberHarpie2: It seems like you are trying to play me around into thinking I'm wrong like last time, which won't work.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:04:32 PM] Skippy Howlyr: and you're making it seem bad to "have that" out of HS orit only belongs in HS
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:04:57 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm done sucking up to people who are actually assholes.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:05:04 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Cause you're actually running your mouth
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:05:13 PM] Skippy Howlyr: and I don't believe I was the asshole here; just saying! ;)
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:06:04 PM] CyberHarpie2: Of course you don't believe you're an asshole. :P
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:06:48 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm sure an asshole wouldn't post personal family issues like a brother committing a forgery on the internet for all to see and laugh at.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:11:07 PM] Skippy Howlyr: Maybe it concerns all my FoCo friends and how he fucked me over pretty much and OMG that was random! You're obsessed or something
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:11:41 PM] CyberHarpie2: It shows something about your character.
[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:12:21 PM] CyberHarpie2: I'm done with you.[Thu Sep 9 2010 04:12:22 PM] CyberHarpie2: CyberHarpie2 (cyberharpie2) is offline
- Unwarranted self importance
- Shitty Art
- Sick fuck
- Furaffinity account Make sure you tell him about his wonderful article. And screencap his reactions!
Old deviantart account. Catch it before he deletes it!Baaaawleted after seeing this article. His pounced.org account.Also bawleted.
- Xbox live code: lEuphoriaaa
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