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JzG

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Guy Chapman, JzG Wikipedia Administrator - a face only a mother could love (and we can't believe he talks to his mother with that mouth! However, it might explain his obsession with "big bust" models.) Seen here lusting after small children on his bike

JzG, aka JewzG aka Guy Andre Chapman, b. 1964, is a bureaucratic fuck at TOW. He learns important things from the various retards over there, including Richard Pryor being stoned on the set of Stir Crazy. [1] Like most whining alcoholic asshole cocksuckers whose hobby is "singing," Guy is special and feels very sorry for himself and his family, [2] but is just plain fucked in the head to everyone else. [3] His ugly dead alcoholic sister that committed suicide gave him a blowjob once, which was a profound formative moment in his life and helped turn him into the completely worthless prick he is today. [4] And thanks to all this, Guy spends a lot of time each day on Wikipedia being a humorless arrogant piece of shit. Guy made a Myspace profile and advertises that he has popular diseases like "anxiety, depression, asthma, tinnitus, hyperacusis, migraines and a beergut," but so far he has no friends. [5] He is an avid supporter of Calton and enjoys masturbating to old pictures of his dead father as he tries to relive all the sexual abuse he got, deserved, and enjoyed.

Why God, Why?

Full name: Guy Andre Chapman
Employer: Dell
Birthday: 26 January 1964
Address: 9 Wetherby Close, Emmer Green,
Reading RG4 8UD
Phone number: 0118 947 0948
Ex-wife: Felicity Chapman
Sons: Michael Chapman, Peter Chapman
Dead sister: Laura Chapman
Current prescriptions: Dosulepin (anti-depressant)
Church: Saint Barnabas of Emmer Green

Without Guy, who would do the really hard bureaucratic fuck jobs--like getting an "uninvolved admin" to delete the anal stretching article? [6]Or deleting "POV spam" from The Number of the Beast? [7] Who would request citations for the fat chicks article? [8] Protecting the article about Porn 2.0 site Xtube from recreation after several deletions? [9] Who, *who* would "purge the cruft" from the Buttocks article on Christmas Eve?! [10] "Indeed," as Guy would say.

How did this happen? - Usenet Asshole Becomes Admin

During his RFA Guy provided a thrillingly vapid and dishonest answer to a question from the only opposing voter: "You seem to be looking for arguments (you've even been cited on external sources such as a news blog). Seemingly you get easily frustrated, use foul language and are considered an internet antagonist. How will manage your anger and antagonizing attitude?" Watch the objector's vote change to support after threatened with an RfC from the dumb herd, who only care if Guy will reform his bad habit of not always using an edit summary! Also notice that our dear friend MONGO voted and supported him. [11]

Welcome to His World

Terms of Service (from User Talk:JzG)

Wikipedia Administrator Guy Chapman enjoying cosplay. This electric suit is meant to try and shock his limp useless dick into action. Thus far it has failed, much to his wife's relief.

By posting on this page you accept the JzG Terms of Service.

I endeavour to satisfy good-faith requests to the best of my ability, but if you act like a dick, I will call you a dick. If you act like a troll, I will probably ignore you and may tell you to fuck off. If you want something from me, your best bet is not to demand it on pain of shopping me to ArbCom, because that way is pretty much guaranteed to piss me off to the extent that I will do whatever I can to thwart your plans. This page may contain trolling. Some of it might even be from me, but never assume trolling where a misplaced sense of humour might explain things. I can be provoked, it's not even terribly difficult. You may find, if you provoke me enough, that I will do something I later regret. Only remember, you may regret it more. I am a middle-aged surly bastard who spends his working day wrestling spammers and beating Windows with a stick, but I am capable of seeing good in the most improbable people if they don't go out of their way to make me do otherwise. Guy (Help!) 22:32, 4 January 2007 (UTC) (Reference)

British humor is his excuse?

This user posts using a British sense of humour and does not repress those instantaneous motions of merriment. (Reference)

Enemies List!

  • Guy was very butthurt after a neighborhood bartender called "The Pope" spurned his advances, and subsequently embarked on a righteous crusade to totally blacklist a tiny queer Catholic newsletter nobody gives a fuck about. [12]
  • Orchestrated a community ban to get rid of an editor who was coming dangerously close to revealing that Guy jerks off every night to a poster of some junkie with testicular cancer while yelling out his sisters name[13]
  • Elementary school kids! Told the little jerks to fuck off in no uncertain terms, before they could make a single lousy edit. [14] (And then deleted criticism pointing out he is a goon and a nasty pedophilic bully [15]).

And there's more...

  • Whines like a little bitch to have obscure "attack sites" put on blacklist. [16]. Arbcom said, mommy!
  • Called someone who asked a question during his Arbcom candidacy a troll, then "withdrew" from election after getting 51 oppose votes, sniffling that he withdrew because he "deals poorly with trolls." What a crybaby bitch.

JzG likes girls with big boobs (who doesn't!)

JzG's sexual fantasy

JzG got pwned by Wikipedia Review for editing articles about chicks with big bazookas on TOW using his anon IP. He sure ain't no Turd Burglar!

Another example of his work on articles about girls with big boobs can be seen here: Letha Weapons He adds a link from Letha Weapons to his own biography. His relationship with Letha

Whenever JzG starts to get a bit huffy and tells you to fuck off, redirect his talk page and any articles that he's editing to the List of big-bust models and performers. This seems to calm him down and saves him much time because he doesn't have to pretend that he's doing anything really useful to get there...

Some editors on Wikipedia complain

Guy of course refused to participate in the first RFC (though he grudgingly did in the second, mainly by removing the truthful and accurate comments his opponents made throughout the process...). But, because of the numerous complaints about his uncivil comments he appears to be using "fuck off" less often. The following is an example of his improved style: "I consider you an evil underhand spiteful shit-stirring weasel".

JzG's personal wiki

Papa Chapman - Incestuous Pedophile Extraordinaire!

JzG's personal wiki is where he bitches about how poorly the Internet has treated him. But he really hates it when anyone tries to discuss the issues with him, example: [17] [18]

Mr. BigBoobFan felt very butthurt when his dad began to rot in hell from January 21, 2008, and proceeded to whine about it on his dad's long biography where he neglected to mention all the nights his father spent sucking on his cock.

He's also afraid of hackers so his page is blank. Note that Tor is not blocked.

He writes his own biography

"Guy Chapman is a highly important, dedicated, consistently vigilant administrator on Wikipedia who also gives the full measure of his time to his employer and his family, despite the considerable amount of time he spends improving Wikipedia."[19]

It is clear from the above that Guy operates in his own fantasy world and doesn't realize that most people that meet or talk to him wish he would promptly join his alcoholic cunt sister and cocksucking father as wormfood.

Famous Quotations

Some recent jewels from our favorite Guy....

He writes reviews of Encyclopaedia Dramatica

"Encyclopedia Dramatica is a website for those at the awkward stage between writing on toilet walls and discovering how to masturbate."review

"We now have an "article" on the self-aggrandizing sophomoric shithole that is Encyclopedia Dramatica. Way to go. That really improves the encyclopaedia, just like the countless band vanity articles we get. Fact is, nobody who is not already a member of the ED community gives a toss about the worthless place, and their retaliation against our original deletion showed that deletion was unambiguously correct. The purpose of the article is solely to validate their tawdry little website and persuade themselves that the hours they spend there are of more merit to humanity than hours spent masturbating." review

"Those wonderful people at Encyclopaedia Dramatica are now saying that my late father, who was a teacher by profession, was a paedophile - charming lot, God knows why we gave them back the article on their festering heap of webshite" [20]

Awards

  • He won 1st place in the 3rd annual WP:DICK awards.[21]
  • He won 1st place in the 3rd annual Miss Incongeniality awards [22]

See also

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