JzG

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Guy Chapman, JzG Wikipedia Administrator - a face only a mother could love (and we can't believe he talks to his mother with that mouth! However, it might explain his obsession with "big bust" models.) Seen here lusting after small children on his bike

Guy André Chapman (born 1964) has been a bureaucratic fuck at TOW since the very earliest days, and is known by other Wikipedos as JzG. These days, he has renamed his editing account and appears as simply "Guy". This was an attempt to shake off his reputation as a long-term cunt, and due to his years-long dedication to Jimbo's link-farm he got away with it (despite the fact that there are many other men called "Guy" on Wikipedia - or perhaps because of it).

Guy regularly learns various important things from the various retards over there, including Richard Pryor being stoned on the set of Stir Crazy (Archived: Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2). Like most whining alcoholic asshole cocksuckers whose hobby is "singing," Guy is a special person. He frequently attacks other Wikipedia editors (Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2), but also feels very sorry for himself because he doesn't understand why he is so wildly unpopular (Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2). His ugly dead alcoholic sister that committed suicide gave him a blowjob once, which was a profound formative moment in his life (Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 1).

Thanks to all these factors, Guy spends a lot of time each day on Wikipedia being a humorless arrogant piece of shit. It has paid off. To this day, Guy is the only Wikipedia bigwig to have been the subject of a peer-reviewed scientific paper ($) about abusive wiki-editing published in a genuine academic journal (Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2).

Back in the day, Guy had a Myspace profile boasting that he has popular diseases like "anxiety, depression, asthma, tinnitus, hyperacusis, migraines and a beergut," but deleted it after a few years because has no friends (Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2). He is an avid supporter of Calton and enjoys masturbating to old pictures of his dead father as he tries to relive all the sexual abuse he deserved, got, and enjoyed.

Getting to know Guy[edit]

Glowing reviews[edit]


Guy of course refused to participate in the first RFC (though he grudgingly did in the second, mainly by removing the truthful and accurate comments his opponents made throughout the process...). But, because of the numerous complaints about his uncivil comments he appears to be using "fuck off" less often. The remark "I consider you an evil underhand spiteful shit-stirring weasel" is an example of his "improved" communication skills.

How did this happen? - Usenet Asshole Becomes Admin[edit]

During Webcite favicon.png his 2006 RfA Guy provided a thrillingly vapid and dishonest answer to Archive today-ico.png this question from the only opposing voter:

   
 
You seem to be looking for arguments (you've even been cited on external sources such as a news blog). Seemingly you get easily frustrated, use foul language and are considered an internet antagonist. How will manage your anger and antagonizing attitude?
 

 
 

— User:CyclePat

Guy made veiled threats about his own Archive today-ico.png "limited tolerance for baseless personal attacks" and how much Archive today-ico.png Jimbo loves him. The objector was immediately under pressure from the dumb herd (who thought about RfCing him for daring to question Guy's integrity). This lone dissenter soon changed his vote from Archive today-ico.png "OPPOSE" to Archive today-ico.png "SUPPORT" in recognition of the fact that the whole thing was a jury-rigged show-trial intended to achieve a foregone verdict. The main concern among Guy's mouth-breathing pals was whether Guy would reform his bad habit of not always filling out an edit summary!

Also notice that our dear friend MONGO Archive today-ico.png supported Guy's RfA, which applied a bit more subtle pressure on anyone else who might have had reservations. Consequently, on January 17, 2006, Guy Chapman went from being a despicable but ignorable asshole to being a despicable asshole with power.

Why God, Why?[edit]

Without Guy...

"Indeed," as Guy would say.

Welcome to His World[edit]

Terms of Service (from User Talk:JzG)[edit]

Wikipedia Administrator Guy Chapman enjoying cosplay. This electric suit is meant to try and shock his limp useless dick into action. Thus far it has failed, much to his wife's relief.

By posting on this page you accept the JzG Terms of Service.

I endeavour to satisfy good-faith requests to the best of my ability, but if you act like a dick, I will call you a dick. If you act like a troll, I will probably ignore you and may tell you to fuck off. If you want something from me, your best bet is not to demand it on pain of shopping me to ArbCom, because that way is pretty much guaranteed to piss me off to the extent that I will do whatever I can to thwart your plans. This page may contain trolling. Some of it might even be from me, but never assume trolling where a misplaced sense of humour might explain things. I can be provoked, it's not even terribly difficult. You may find, if you provoke me enough, that I will do something I later regret. Only remember, you may regret it more. I am a middle-aged surly bastard who spends his working day wrestling spammers and beating Windows with a stick, but I am capable of seeing good in the most improbable people if they don't go out of their way to make me do otherwise. Guy (Help!) 22:32, 4 January 2007 (UTC) (Reference)

British humor is his excuse?[edit]

This user posts using a British sense of humour and does not repress those instantaneous motions of merriment. (Reference)

Enemies List![edit]

And there's more...[edit]

  • Whines like a little bitch to have obscure "attack sites" put on blacklist. [1]. Arbcom said, mommy!
  • Called someone who asked a question during his Arbcom candidacy a troll, then "withdrew" from election after getting 51 oppose votes, sniffling that he withdrew because he "deals poorly with trolls." What a crybaby bitch.

JzG likes girls with big tits (who doesn't!)[edit]

JzG's sexual fantasy

Surprisingly, Guy does have a sense of shame. At Christmas 2006, he anonymously edited several articles related to fap-fodder, while not logged in as "JzG". Sadly (for him) he then accidentally exposed himself as the anonymous editor "80.176.82.42" by posting a snotty remark to someone, realizing he wasn't logged in, then logging in and posting the same snotty remark again as "JzG" (Archived: Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2).

Wikipedia has deleted two other porn actor articles that Guy edited anonymously: "Lisa Lipps" (Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2) and Dani O'Neal (Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2)

Since outing himself, Guy has shown a much-decreased interest in editing porn-related articles.

Whenever JzG starts to get a bit huffy and tells you to fuck off, redirect his talk page and any articles that he's editing to the List of big-bust models and performers. This seems to calm him down and saves him much time because he doesn't have to pretend that he's doing anything really useful to get there...

JzG's personal wiki[edit]

Papa Chapman - Incestuous Pedophile Extraordinaire!

JzG's now-deleted personal wiki was where he bitched about how poorly the Internet has treated him. What's left of Guy's website can be seen in the "External Links" section of this article, although unless you are an ultra-sperg about bicycles the boredom will probably prove fatal.

Mr. BigBoobFan felt very butthurt when his dad began to rot in hell from January 21, 2008 (Archive today-ico.png 1 Webcite favicon.png 2), and proceeded to whine about it on his dad's long biography where he neglected to mention all the nights his father spent sucking on his cock.

He's also afraid of hackers so his page is blank. Note that Tor is not blocked.

He writes his own biography[edit]

   
 
"Guy Chapman is a highly important, dedicated, consistently vigilant administrator on Wikipedia who also gives the full measure of his time to his employer and his family, despite the considerable amount of time he spends improving Wikipedia."
 

 
 

From the now-deleted Biographicon social networking website
(Archived: Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2)

It is clear from the above that Guy operates in his own fantasy world and doesn't realize that most people that meet or talk to him wish he would promptly join his alcoholic cunt sister and cocksucking father as wormfood.

He writes reviews of Encyclopaedia Dramatica[edit]

"Encyclopedia Dramatica is a website for those at the awkward stage between writing on toilet walls and discovering how to masturbate."review

"We now have an "article" on the self-aggrandizing sophomoric shithole that is Encyclopedia Dramatica. Way to go. That really improves the encyclopaedia, just like the countless band vanity articles we get. Fact is, nobody who is not already a member of the ED community gives a toss about the worthless place, and their retaliation against our original deletion showed that deletion was unambiguously correct. The purpose of the article is solely to validate their tawdry little website and persuade themselves that the hours they spend there are of more merit to humanity than hours spent masturbating." review

"Those wonderful people at Encyclopaedia Dramatica are now saying that my late father, who was a teacher by profession, was a paedophile - charming lot, God knows why we gave them back the article on their festering heap of webshite" [2]

Awards[edit]

  • He won 1st place in the 3rd annual WP:DICK awards.[3]
  • He won 1st place in the 3rd annual Miss Incongeniality awards [4]

See also[edit]

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