Kalidor

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Kalidor hungers for Cheetos™.

Kalidor is the owner of the Allspark. He's also a very creepy, fat, emo kid.

He loves to make up wild stories that are completely false, just so he can go post on his board and get emotional support. He frequently begs the users for money, and sometimes lies about where the money is going, despite making $300.00 a month from his site that is hosted for free through his work. Kuhn also enjoys banning numerous people from his message board for no other reason than not liking them. Despite all his shortcomings, he has the incredible skill of manipulating people over the Internets into giving him half ownership in a message board.

He edits his post count every so often to stay above Defunct. He's also been known to e-stalk women, which results in him getting all down and emo. He'll post about how the girl wants to leave her current boyfriend, but that she doesn't know it yet. He's taken a liking to Equanimity, a nerd cock-tease who posts on the Allspark to remind all the fat nerds that they will never get pussy.

Kalidor (left) and his favorite NAMBLA/Allspark members.

He believes that people "attack" him because he's on top, and people are jealous of him and his board. Of course, anyone with half a brain knows that the man is a lying, cheating and very manipulative bastard who only cares about what he can get from people. Once he's done using a certain person, he'll cast them aside (Read: X-Warlock).

A typical post from Kalidor is:

"Hey guys, I'm feeling a bit down. I just got dumped by this chick I was talking to on CoH. How are you guys? Oh, I'm so depressed. I'm off work all this week, I plan on listening to some Enya and Linkin Park. I may try to choke myself on a burrito, or drink myself into a coma. Anyone got drink suggestions? I hate beer, and hard liquor. I love girly drinks, though. Hold on, I just got some Smirnoff Ice. Are hands and face numb normal? Hrm, I need to kill myself. Remember to send me money through paypal, long live the Allspark!"
Government warning of an all-devouring behemoth.

He may have ingested Natalee Holloway as a snack, but that has not been confirmed at this time. He is also an Al-Queda sympathizer and is glad 9/11 happened. He likely has no penis. His most infamous act has been to blow Transfomers brand manager Aaron Archer at Botcon. He also played that 600 pound guy on House MD.

Links

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