— Richard Pattis...probably
Karel++, or Karel for the mentally incompetent is a
handy-dandy fucking retarded programming language. In its most basic state (by basic we mean basic ) Karel is a Java library intended for teaching inner city youths how to program a little robot to run around and shit on street corners all day. However, Karel comes in a slew of other shitty flavors including:
Karel the Robot lives in a world comprised of beepers, neutronium walls, and robots. [ The beepers, much like shit, are black dots that are subject to some schoolyard lore. Allegedly, you can only detect beepers when you are standing on it, making them a horrible nuisance for just about everybody. Beepers can be picked up, put in a beeper bag and shat back onto the ground given the command putBeeper. Somehow, regardless of all of Karel's other inabilities, he is able to carry and infinite amount of beepers. The neutronium walls are much worse than the beepers especially since they cause execution errors if Karel runs into them. Due to
History of Karel
Karel the robot was created by Richard E. Pattis in the 80's. Being that everything from that joke of an 'era' is an atrocity, Karel fit right in. Regardless of its simplicity, the first victims of Karel's wrath were the washed up yuppies of Stanford University.
- Fun Fact, niggers! It's called Karel, because Karel Čapek, czech MASTER RACE individual, invented the robot
Due to the ever so charming Mr. Pattis' love for pun and games and showing off he wasn't a genuine autist enjoyed making pop-culture references, almost like the meme-spouting /b/tards and redditors. For example, the Ruby edition of Karel was titled Karel Tuesdays . This man needs to talk to a talent coordinator, because damn that was fine. For python it was Monty Karel, and Java, being the dumbfuck he is, just made it: Karel learns Java. Because ya'know, keeping trends is waaay too mainstream nowadays. Soon, the monstrosity known as Karel the Robot grew to cult-like proportions. But how did Karel grow to become an insurmountable pile of shit? Java.
Because Karel was intended for simplicity, it was designed with Java, for Java, and as a Java operator. It all starts with Karel's tiny list of abilities, as they are commonly dubbed. They are, and are severely limited to:
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