sex expert" on YouTube. Known for an extreme case of USI, she doles out "advice" under the ruse that she is a sex/relationship guru of sorts, offering "information" - you know, the kind widely available all over the interbutts and that has been repeated a thousand times over ad nauseum on every shitty basic-cable sex tv show. Of course, the only people who take her seriously are desperate retards too dumb to go to youporn to fap. If you dare compliment her fat tits or say anything other than 100% praise, expect a high level of butthurt as she moderates her video's comments more heavily than the SA forums combined.is a self-appointed "
When she's not blowjobs. At the top of her scant resumé is her 2 second blip in
Weezer's Pork and Beans music video (private), which has somehow justified her intense, and somewhat warm and moist, desire to appear on the black person.
The Almost-Raped Video
Kicesie made quite a spectacle when she recently posted a
self serving video(Kicesie is a lolsuit fan) about having been raped. The video was horribly over-dramatic and overdone, and served no other purpose than to be noticed. The lulziest part was a dramatic reading of poetry over some slow motion video of her crying. Knowing masked ssp when they see it, trolls started to descend on her shit video en masse like flies on hobo-cock. She became instantly butthurt, set everything to private, deleted all comments pointing out the holes in her story. For instance, despite lamenting over the seriousness of the rape she never even mentioned going to the police. Estimates on how many have squeezed one out to her tears are in the high millions.
Kicesie seemingly changed her story, the rape now having occurred in Tennessee according to her new story, where according to Dr. Kicesie the first rape is free. When people called bullshit she claimed she already paid for a prosecutor so it was 100% certain that her rape charge would go to court. She changed her story a third time less than a week later saying that it was settled out of court. Even more recently she changed the story a fourth time saying that the rapist is being tried in criminal court.
Raped by The New Effort
Kicesie's pathetic cries of rape had gotten her far more attention than she was hoping for though. SASS splinter group, The New Effort, discovered Kicesie and began to incessantly troll her due to a combination of her shitty videos and Wiscon withdrawal symptoms. First posted by user Cleon, The New Effort started pwning the fuck out of her. In fact, they were kind enough to take the five seconds needed to point out the fucking obvious, causing massive amounts of reality to swoop upon thine faire maiden. When Kicesie was finally alerted to dissenting commentary she could not delete, she posted a passive-aggressive note saying she didn't care and that she would ignore this slight against her e-persona. Two days later, she tried to lawyer up and failed in a way befitting a YouTube camwhore: she got her boyfriend, Todd Davis, Boyfriend at Law, to send a hilariously shitty Cease and Desist email, claiming DMCA violations. TNE picked this apart as the lie it was, going as far as to point out that the state of Texas says there is no lawyer in Texas named Todd Davis.
—Kicesie, being ironic
—Email sent from Kicesie's Gmail account
His pathetic request was met with an excited Chinese lawyer looking for a fight. Finding little satisfaction in additional rape, Kicesie tried to file a complaint with Dreamhost, who told her to stop being such a whore.
—Kicesie, on twitter after finding out the truth about Dreamhost
Rape charges are pending investigation/Youtube video. She then whored herself out to find a lawyer, eager to dispatch them (as long as they worked pro bono).
—Kicesie, internet camwhore
—Kicesie, on twitter
Bawwwwing to ED
—Sincerely, Todd Davis
—Tok`ra 13:36, 28 January 2009 (CST)
Kicesie released a video wherein she stated her rape case is being settled out of court, then makes a plea to the internets for money not to sue the trolls but to get a lawyer up before the US Supreme Court to create new laws to protect her. Much like in Charles Taylors Liberia she expects it costs
$10,000 $8,500 for a private citizen to buy a personal law, so be a doll and give Kicesie your money because she promises to give it back and she totally won't steal it.
Stopping Trolling in its Tracks
Being the lazy bitch with the overblown sense of entitlement she has, Kicesie recommends you bring the lulz to her, for free.
—--Kicesie, Taking the internet very fucking serious
The typical Kicesie fan is an awkward basement dwelling older male. Despite the fact that they are safe in their mom's house, these developmentally challenged losers still find it difficult to talk to a girl even when she isn't in the room as evidenced by their starstruck schoolboy Jewtube responses.
Buffalo Bill's Retarded Australian Cousin Tries and Fails to Lure Her to His Rape Dungeon
Here comes the police.
On August 31, 2009 an article posted by the Chattanooga Times Free Press reported that a judge had ordered Kicesie's college to hand over her personal records. Kicesie immediately responded with a lulzy youtube video about the ongoing investigation into her personal history. BE CAREFUL GUIZ SHE GOT LIFELOCK.
Current Events and More Lulz
If you want to know what this nutbar is up to now, you should really really read her chipin.com page, because damn: kicesie's chipin page (where she begs for your cash but inexplicably does not offer to give blowjobs in return)
I mean, srsly- we couldn't make this shit up if we tried. Gems from this page include the following:
Is this stuff great or what? We can't remember the last time we laughed this hard. We expect to see a made-for-TV movie about Ms. Kicesie on the Lifetime channel eventually.
- The Cease and Desist Seems dead
- Her Twitter account
- A whole DVD where she teaches how to suck dick - (Un)fortunately its not porn to buy on amazon.
The Cunt's websiteCloset seems to be closed
Kicesie is part of a series on
Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.
Kicesie is part of a series on YouTube.