|Highscore||, injured 25|
|Style||Single player, FPS|
|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Kip Kinkel is an autistic crybaby and a member of the Barney Bunch, who murdered his parents and attempted to top the High Score at Thurston High School, on May 21st, 1998. He successfully killed 4 people, and managed to injure another 25 before everybody dog-piled his weak-ass, cuffed him, and threw him in the slammer for a lifetime of black buttsecks.
Kip was born two middle class parents, in Springfield, Oregon, on August 30th, 1982. He had a fairly decent childhood, but became a troublesome little shithead in his adolescence, often getting into fights, committing minor acts of adolescent juvenalia, like setting fires and property damage. Due to his autistic mannerisms, he was held back in school and put into special education. He always had a keen interest in guns. Being the great parent that he was, Kip's father thought it would be a good idea to give his assburgers (Fact: all autistic people are killers) son firearms- even buying Kip a Glock. Kip was a generic edgy fag from the 90s, and had a liking for awesome bands like NIN, Marilyn Manson, and RATM. He spoke of perpetrating acts of violence, bragging about wanting to join the Military to have a free pass to murder people (even though muslims aren't people) brought guns to school, and even did a school report on how to build bombs. Despite these alarming warning signs, nobody thought it was a good idea to snitch that fag out; probably because it would not even another year until Columbine happens and schools actually put in some effort to monitor these types of kids. Eventually, Kip got suspended and arrested, and was on track to be expelled, due to possessing a stolen pistol, loaded with live rounds.
A few hours after the incident, his daddy told him that he would get shipped off to boot camp if he didn't stop his autistic meltdown. Pissed off at having to accept responsibility for his own actions, Kip decided it would be a good idea to take his shitty .22lr rifle and shoot his father in the back of the head. All of the violent video games that Kip played numbed his mind to violence- Kip simply believed he was inside a video game level and that his parents would respawn in a few hours. Shortly after murdering his dad and covering him with a sheet, Kip reenacted Hitman IRL and dragged the fresh corpse out of sight and into a bathroom. When his mom arrived, he told her that he loved her- and demonstrated it by firing 6 bullets of love into her, dragging her corpse out of sight, and covering it with another sheet. He then proceeded to play an old orchestra song over and over throughout the night. He left a note for the pigs, that read: "I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. ... I have to kill people. I don't know why. ... I have no other choice."
As morning approached, Kip hijacked his mom's car and drove to the school. He was equipped with an assault trenchcoat, which concealed an arsenal of five weapons. Only his Glock 19 was any good, yet this faggot didn't even make any good use of it! Total amateur. He zerg rushed his school, firing several shots throughout the school, injuring dozens of kids but only killing 2- mainly because he was using a gay little .22lr. When he was out of ammo, he was quickly tackled by the students, until the pigs showed up and he got v&.
During the police interview, he tried to attack a cop with a hidden knife, but was pwned by a quick jolt of pepper spray. He explained how he was too much of a pussy to an hero, so he was trying to get the pigs to pwn him instead- a shitty plan that obviously failed. He was sentenced to life in prison, but attempted to repeal his sentence in 2007 -- a process that failed hard. His case still holds moderate notoriety, though nothing compared to Columbine or any other high-casualty tragedy.
|Accuracy:||7/20 4 killed, 25 injured.|
|Style:||15/20 Sk00l Sh00ting/familicide|
|Bonus:||17/20 Killing both of his parents.|
|Total score: 62/100 (D)|
See full ranking
- Cho Seung-Hui
- Adam Lanza
- Jeff Weise
- Jaylen Fryberg
- Charles Bishop
- The Barney Bunch
Kip Kinkel is part of a series on Education
[Go To School]
|Kip Kinkel is part of a series on Aspies.||[Sperg out]|