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The Kraken is an awesome mythical sea-beast... I mean, just look at it... HOLY FUCKING PENIS!

On the motherfucking Internets[edit]

Thanks to the power of the multi-global porn-pipe we all know and love, pictures of real life straight from hell tentacled bastards of doom surfaced in 2005, the product of a scientific research mission funded by the Japanese entertainment industry. Soon after the country was stunned by the mass suicide of thousands of teenage females and the resignation of the women's Olympic swim team.

In the news[edit]

A group of Japanese scientists recently took photos of a Kraken. Also, the scientists took a tentacle from the beast. This caused it to go batshit crazy and rape hundreds of Japanese Schoolgirls. After a shitload of rape, it was later found out that the Kraken was in fact a used condom that was at one time worn by the Greek god of the sea, Poseidon.


See also[edit]

External links[edit]

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