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Krispy Kreme

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For the LiveJournal community, see kkk_membership
An overabundance of mucous is Krispy Kreme's primary trademark.
"Don't fuck with us. We have pellet guns, and we're not afraid to use them."
Nothing says "gangsta" like woodland camouflage.
Krispy-kreme-ballsohard.jpg
Not to be confused with the snack treat for whores.

Krispy Kreme or Froggy Fresh or Tyler Cassidy is something as original as YouTube joke rap, dreamt up by the untalented Tyler Cassidy, when he figured out he couldn't get famous by being himself. It was long speculated it wasn't an act, by utter retards, who couldn't even see past the obvious signs of this untalented hack doing it to bring in the YouTube gold.

A lolcow is born

THE BADDEST

   
 
I. AM. THE BADDEST OF THEM ALL.
 

 
 

— Krispy Kreme, confirming that finger fucking a pellet gun makes you badass

   
 
Y'all think I don't get girls, cuz I ain't ver' tall
 

 
 

— Krispy Kreme, highlighting the roots of his insecurity

   
 
I could beat you up even if you had one thousand knives... even if you had infinity knives
 

 
 

— Krispy Kreme, redefining the laws of combat, physics, and idiocy

   
 
I made out with every girl in the world
 

 
 

Cool Story, Bro

   
 
I might look small but I'm not. I don't care if you're big, I'll fight you a lot.
 

 
 

— Krispy Kreme, continuing to dwell on his diminutive stature

   
 
I have 400 cars. I have 400 scars and 400 guitars. I have 400 houses. I have 400 mouses and 400 houses.
 

 
 

— Krispy Kreme failing to boast, now with 20% more redundancy!

   
 
I betcha you don't know 2 + 2. It's 4, it's 4, now go and shut the door.
 

 
 

— Krispy Kreme, expert on maths.

April 20, 2012: Krispy Kreme unleashes his greatness upon the unsuspecting Youtube public in a video that he shat from his doubtlessly inbred ass. His Napoleon complex is made manifest as he dwells upon his short stature while maintaining that he could totally kick your ass. His ludicrous boasts and ignorant rhyming patterns have allowed scientists to shed new light on the infinite monkey theorem. Along with his mute sidekick Money Maker Mike (Tyler Newby), he frequently brandishes weaponry in a menacing fashion... that is, if your definition of "menacing" is two fucktarded hicks waving pellet guns around in a ridiculous manner. As befits his grossly limited intellect, Krispy Kreme is shown with mucous running down his face and low hanging fruit suspended from his nose throughout. He's got 99 problems, but a soiled tissue ain't one.
Viewers were shocked and appalled by the rampant faggotry they had witnessed. Many drank their fill of the lulz, while others claimed the video was a parody, insisting that no one could be so stupid. Either way, Krispy Kreme was trolled relentlessly. Not one to take things lying down, he responded to all the haters.

The haters get their comeuppance

HATERS WANT TO BE ME

   
 
I've been shot about 500 times, and I've done about one million crimes.
 

 
 

—Krispy Kreme, a rare male sufferer of Histrionic Personality Disorder

   
 
Talk crap, I'll throw eggs at your car.
 

 
 

—Krispy Kreme, master of gruesome vengeance

   
 
Have you ever been to the county fair? I rode the Fireball and I wasn't even scared.
 

 
 

—Krispy Kreme, dope ass fearless gangsta

   
 
West side!
 

 
 

—Krispy Kreme, Alabama's native son

   
 
Life is a race, and everybody's behind me
 

 
 

—Krispy Kreme, on the Special Olympics

May 14, 2012: Krispy Kreme responds to all the trolls and haters out there with a simple message... "U jelly?" The mucous may be gone, but the rampant faggotry remains.In this video, Krispy Kreme is even more gangsta and earns his street cred by engaging in activities common to thug life, such as standing on a swing, hanging from a tree, playing with his school trophies, and playfully wrestling with Money Maker Mike... all while showcasing his tardtastic acrobatic abilities. Mike is allowed out of the closet long enough to woo the ladies with his mad dancing skrillz by briefly sperging out at the 2:10 mark. Check out Krispy's dope bowl cut; nigga's got style!

BAWWW


  • PROTIP: the heavy QQ begins around 2:10

June 3, 2012: Krispy Kreme uploads a different kind of video from his grimy basement, in which he delivers an inspiring ramble concerning... something. Dreams, maybe? It's really hard to tell, what with his mumbling constantly being interrupted by the licking of his snot covered lips as his nasal passages exude their trademark cornucopic contents. He would seem to make mention of staying at home while others have fun. He warns his fans to avoid drugs and alcohol, obviously forgetting that the only people who listen to his "music" are his fellow trailer trash speedfreaks and hopeless drunks. Rumors abound that he made this video after being beaten by his father, but the truth is far more pleasant.

The Man Himself

You have all been played like pianos

Why he decided to make joke rap instead

Tyler is also a grade a student:

GPA 3.95

Viewer Reactions

   
 
U have four hundred cars u have four hundred scars but don't have one Kleenex
 

 
 

—567solorzano

   
 
I bet you sleep with the NAIGHT LAAAAAIIIIGHT!!
 

 
 

—lol392

   
 
"Made out with every girl in the world." My sister is currently five weeks old. She is a girl, and I am suddenly very worried.
 

 
 

—WightRabbits

   
 
is he literally metanly reterted cuz this is bigeer bull shit than anything i have everseen
 

 
 

—Megaflysuperguy - even the retards think he's retarded

   
 
the sexual tension between money maker mike and krispy kreme
 

 
 

—Kait1831

   
 
Hes definitely a young george bush
 

 
 

—doc7114

   
 
eminem plus chuck norris equals Krispy Kreme
 

 
 

—BenManOwnz - Krispy is off the fail chart

External links

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Krispy Kreme is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

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Krispy Kreme is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

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Krispy Kreme is part of a series on YouTube.

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