Kurdistan

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Map of Kurdistan
Map of the fictional Kurdish caliphate - also known as Kurdistan. Kurds actually fap to this map
Flag of Kurdistan

Kurdistan (Kurdspeak: كوردستان, Sandpeoplespeak: كردستان, Moonspeak: Քուրդիստան, Motherlandspeak: Курдистан), also known as Turdistan, is a fictional country in west Asia. They are descendants of Medes, which has often led to confusion of them being either Iranian or a retarded breed of SandGoat. Despite Islam being a dominant religion though being secular, they're america's bff, who love terrorism and oil thus can be used for generating epic drama in middle east. Kurdistan borders to several tragic countries, including Iran, Iraq and Turkey, which also is the reason Kurds are butthurt all the time. Kurds are butthurt about having no land, yet do not realize they are 100% sandnigger Iranians who speak an Indo-Iranian language, share Iranian genetics and come from an Iranian tribe (the Medes). Some may argue that Kurds got no friends, which probably is mostly true, but lately they have formed alliances with other butthurt people and fictional countries, including Kazakhstan, Israel and Korea.

Kurdish Language[edit]

Kurds claim they have their own language, however, IRL, they keep switching between Arabic and teh "Kurdish language" (which has only a few original words of its own). Statistics say none of the kurds have achieved communicating with another Kurd so far. Kurdish language has been an interesting subject for linguists since centuries ago due to its being mysterious and everything's being ambiguous in the language.

Kurdistan Turdistan[edit]

Error 404 Country not found.

Iraqi Turdistan[edit]

The Amerikkka loving part of Turdistan, no terrorists over here, not at all.

Turkish Turdistan (Fictive)[edit]

Turkish Turdistan, also Ghetto Turdistan. Unlike the Iraqi Turds, these Turds are often being raped by America. This always results in serious butthurt and several Turks being killed. This is also the only part where you will find terrorists, ya rly. Turds sell their families to the PKK and bomb children. Now, somebody should explain them that bombing children is only good for the lulz. In a better way of speaking, they are Turkey's niggers, which is already run by niggers of Europe, therefore making Turds Europe's Double Niggers.

4chan Turdistan[edit]

A healthy Turdish state exists somewhere between the /b/ and /n/ boards on 4chan. If one thread mentioning Turkey comes up, at least 100 Turds will mention "z0mg kurdistan". Some argue that these aren't actually Turds, just stormfags looking for an excuse to hate durkas. However, the practical differences between the stormfags and the Kurdish nationalists are yet to be determined.


ISIS Turdistan[edit]

The Turdistan that exists. A group named ISIS who are still butthurt from the fall of Saddam decided it would be a good idea to create an Islamic empire out of the blue so they started genociding Turds. They also took land from fictional Turdistan.

Kurds[edit]

Sekret plan for redrawing the Middle East by the Zionists.
Proof that Kurdistan and ISIS (aka the Israeli Secret Intelligence Services) are both Zionist projects.
Older flag of Kurdistan

The Turds are probably one of the few of Islamic nations who don't hate America and Israel (as Israel sells weapons to Kurdish guerrillas so they could continue fighting for the independence, which would never happen). Kurds and Peter Pan have a lot in common, in that both live in the land of nowhere. If the States provide them with Kurdistan, they will find that the Kurds have nothing more to live for and that they will disappear into wisps of smoke to join Saddam Hussein and the Spartan army to dine in hell. Others claim they are an artificial Aryan master race created by Stormfront to rid the Middle East of Negroid-interbreeding Semites and the mongrel race of Turks before their foothold into Europe could do any sore damage. However, considering the millions of Turks already infecting Europe- since the fucking 1970s- with their cigarette and kebab odours, the experiment is seen as an enormous failure. Saddam was called in to destroy any evidence of the Kurds by gassing them to shit, but being an inbred sandnigger, failed miserably. In 2006, he was executed by his masters for not carrying out his orders. <video type="youtube" id="w1vM0pj80nM" width="480" height="360" desc="Good news is they didn't vote for stupid black person Obama!" frame="true" position="center"/>

The pride of Kurdistan.

Kurdish transportation[edit]

Another Kurdish pastime was to accuse Saddam of slicing and dicing them. Persistent claims by Saddam that it was done for the lulz did not suffice.

Transportation usually relies on either American military convoys or local camel rides. The scarce magic carpet stolen from the nearest Arab village is also frequent in use. If this is all unavailable they will call upon Sindbad and his crew to rise from the bottom of the sea and take them across any body of water. Sindbad, nor any Arab, nor anyone in the Middle East, or for that matter the whole world except for W in America likes the Kurds. Though if they would give him their checks from the American government and dance the Ali Baba while balancing a camel on their right shoulder, he will give them safe passage across the Seven Seas.

Kurdish Economy[edit]

Kurdish condoms are specifically designed for intercourse between humans and goats.
Kurds performing their national sport in Germany. They have inaugurated a high-performance training centre in Cologne on New Year's Eve 2016.

Major exports consist of deep fried camel spiders on a hot pita, Baba Dizayee's chicken blood rice, Turkish hides and endless butthurt about being like Jews were at least 100 years ago, all persecuted without a country and shit.

"Kurds don't exist"[edit]

A popular theory is that Kurds actually don't exist. They were invented somewhere around 1950 by the British to kill other races. Kurds claim to have 5000 thousand years of history while not having a single archaeological discovery based on their culture. This makes some people think they actually don't exist. Another theory claims that the Kurds didn't see themselves primarily as Kurds until somewhere around 1920. Very convenient, as everyone was carving out pieces from The Ottoman Empire back then and nationalism had replaced religion as the main principles on how to make rational decisions (Turkey itself being a prime example of an ill thought out nation that makes no sense in existing). And the most interesting fact about their so-called unity is that the Kurds haven't gotten their heads out their asses long enough to make the decision about a common written language, something that the chinks made long ago. Kurdish groups have so many different cultures and languages and dialects and even multiple ways of writing Kurdish (Arabic, Cyrillic, Latin and in the past Armenian alphabets) that it is impossible for them to unite in the sense of a nation-state. Just look at Israel - Jews flooded in from the smelliest depths of the world, speaking different languages, and Hamas says they still don't exist, though to their credit, they managed to agree on a consistent fucking language and writing system, even if half of it is made up shit or raped off of Arabic.

Trolling Kurds[edit]

Posting this anywhere will help you easily discover if there is any Kurd in the area.
  1. Tell them they don't exist and that they are actually "Mountain Turks".
  2. Tell the Kurdish language does not exist and it's a mixture of many different languages.
  3. Tell them that Kurd is not an actual ethnicity and that it's a mixture of many different ethnicities.
  4. Remind them that Kurds have never invented anything.
  5. Tell them they are brown skinned A-rabs.
  6. Call them Turds.
  7. Call them "Mountain Niggers".
  8. Censor the word "Kurd" as if it is a swearword. (eg. k*rd) It Works!!
  9. Use the word kurd as a swearword.
  10. Say anything positive about Mustafa Kemal Atatürk.
  11. Say anything positive about Saddam Hussein.
  12. Tell them that Saddam Hussein never committed genocide.
  13. Say anything good about Turkey, anything at all.
  14. Remind them being a ethnicity doesn't entitle them to creating a new nation state.
  15. Tell them they are Terrorists.
  16. Tell them they are not recognized as a group in Turkey.
  17. Tell them they are disliked by Turkey, Iran, Syria and Iraq at the same time.
  18. Tell them that even though Turks suck, Turks are better.
  19. Tell them Saladin was an Arab.
  20. Tell them it's okay if a Kurdish girl marries a Turk.
  21. Tell them that when fighting Armenians, Arabs or Assyrians, the Kurds violated human rights worse than Turkey or Iraq.

What Kurds are regularly seen doing:[edit]

  • Claiming that they are persecuted so that they can seek refugee status in First World countries
  • Hating Turks, Iraqis, Arabs, Assyrians and Iranians
  • Shagging goats
  • Making / Planting Bombs
  • Honour killing their whorish daughters
  • Fantasizing that one day their country will stretch from the Mediterranean sea to the Persian Gulf

See Also:[edit]

Kurdistan
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