| KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!
Leelad.net is a forum run by a jolly fatass from northern England which is a spin off forum for Butthurt trolls banned from ChavScum. A few posters there are trying the suicidal attempt to post on both forums while remaining neutral, but most posters are refugees from ChavScum who were banned for contradicting the mod's views on the working class. Despite activity in 2009, it only consists of tl;dr signature images and aspies.
Leelad.net was the last surviving spinoff forum of ChavScum. Virtually all of its members were ex-chavscummers, tragic victims of the original cull imposed by "tyrant" CS owner Colin Sel|ens during the early days of the CS forum. Tensions grew as the remaining CS members, though somewhat naive, proved not to be utter dickheads and as such maintained their accounts. The ongoing influx of CS newbies fueled the jealousy of the rejects, angered by the fact that Colin could tolerate others who were worse dickheads. This ultimately led to the "revenge of the nerds" attacks on CS and its members.
As dogshit attracts flies, leelad.net tends to attract a specific kind of person. Although leelad initially intended his forum to be used for entirely different purposes (see: online gaming geeks), it became a haven for deluded ChavScum rejects/dropouts, unemployed Jeremy Kyle viewers, ironic obsessives, bored "uni" students and various other types of fanatic, domineering turdsniffers.
Outsiders (including neutral members) were frowned upon and ruthlessly flamed for having alternative viewpoints or e-roots. On other occasions, such flaming sessions emerged as part of a desperate attempt to liven the place up. Failure to identify oneself after signing up often resulted in gestapo-like interrogations by various "hotshot" members. This hostile attitude contributed to the forum's low activity level.
Sprechen Sie Cuntish? Kuntz yuo aer butthurt lol
The native language of leelad.net is leetspeak, since long, coherent posts are considered far too conventional for the site's non-specified theme. Though most members are English Nationalists, they prefer to use American slang and insults. In fact, 95% of their personal preferences are linked to American culture. Statistics suggest that the average member there is at least 20. What leelad.net lacks in dignified posts and membership count, it makes up for with the biggest sigs on the net, like this. Of course you could either sign up or fuck off, but then most ex CS memebers are too pussyish to sign up, preferring to remain Anonymous
What our critics say!
—But why won't they PLAY with me??
GOLD WATCHES ARE SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!
Many people who get trolled get butthurt about it and cry to the moderators to get their tormentors banned. They don't, however decide to bring their vendetta IRL. Not so ChavScum moderator Spike/006, whose "Licensed to Moderate" sig became a license to pwn via complaining to his local cop shop! 006 filed a complaint under The Malicious Communications Act, because the police in his area didn't have any real crimes to solve. Once the cat had been well and truly put among the pigeons, millions of E-lawyers pointed out that Spike had even violated his own rules, to which Spike replied NO_U.
Some of the highlights of this saga of lulz was the nerd's willingness to argue over the authenticity of his watch, in unfathomably TL;DR posts. Naturally, nothing really happened, except some RL drama which resulted in most of the "big lulz boys" being transfered to a maximum lulz-proof wing of HM Prisons where they continue to bring armed robbers and convicted rapists to their knees by craftily photoshopping penises onto their pictures.
The Chavscum Connection
A relevant fact that will always be disregarded is that almost every leelad.net member was, in reality, a tolerated high-ranking CS contributer from the past. From the early CS prime-time era of Scribe, Euroboy and Curlz, to the forums life-support stages of Gofaq, Nemi and Ote, to every other big shot CS poster from in between. User accounts with 5 to 6 rep points and four digit post counts where not attained overnight, nor without intention. The only thing that truly seperated the ladders from the spazmonkeys was the fact that the latter were spared from Colin's random culls, for whatever reason. Even leelad himself would make recurring appearances on the CS forum with a reconciled attitude. If you can tolerate lethal doses of irony, then you might (just barely) handle these facts.
To save face, and to portray their bannings as heroic, many of them would later imply that they got banned for arguing against Colin's views on the working class. This is only partially true as they did not see fault with CS website until after their original bannings, in fact some were even moderators there for a short while. It's also worth noting that the contents of CS remained virtually unchanged throughout it's history. For years they would sternly criticise Colin's excessive moderating methods despite their newfound belief that no one should be there to begin with.
- Lee Walsh - Owner of Leelad from Hull and like all inhabitants, has a diet only consisting of Pie and Chips.
- Joe Baldwin - Well known amongst obsessive ’Me-to! Me-to!‘’ n00bs for constantly leaving and re-joining the forum, Having a loving relationship with a pikey Romanian girl and various rational activities.
- MWR - Mrs Wendy Richard, or so he likes to be known. Obsessive right-wing who tracks forum members IRL. Whenever the words “Ryan” and “Williams” are posted three times in the light of the full moon MWR turns into the mythical iron troll and eats trolls and shits pwnage.
- Ryan Williams - Quite simply put “the sergeant peppers of trolling” posts will be made about him for centuries to come due to his past antics. A welsh Ladies-man who lives the dream of being a successful pop singer who created rival forum CBHQ which was eventually taken down due to Ryan trying to have a threesome with a 13yr old and a 15yr old. And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for us meddling kids…
- Hudson - The Overwatch of Leelad.net, bans people for double posting and attempting to sell shitty drugs. Only contributes to threads that contain tranny scat midget porn - taking place in cars.
- Mazzmataz - An overweight gothic fashion designer which applied to various porn sites, lulz ensued. Srsly don’t post anymore or she’ll call your mum telling her what a naughty boy you are!
- Gofaq *some unintelligible northern Muslim gibberish*
- Dr Ambrosia - the most unfunniest faggot to ever post on Leelad.net, used to spend his days sucking cock in Chavscum but after getting banned decided to declare war on Chavscummers (butthurt lolz!). Was called out on his h8trd for Goths which caused several gigawatts of baaaw, as h8 makes t3h baby Jesus cry.
- Nemi/She shall not be named - An unconvincing psuedo goth who seems as bout as fair and ladylike as a baseball bat wrapped in barb wire (and apparently, any male that is not drawn to her is scared of real women). Seems to be the only female member of the forum aswell. More than likely posts there as leelad seems to be one of the very very few forum communities out there that actually care to hear her views, teenage tantrum like rants and opinions on things.
- Hermes Scarfe - An unpleasant snobby middle aged woman who has often self-documented that her profession is a Teacher. One would believe that the reason she has often self-documented this fact, is because she believes that being a Teacher automatically makes her such an important contributor to society in general, that it means she is free to act as obnoxious, snobby and condescending as much and often as she likes
- Finn - Token ginger Welsh Viking. Posts TL;DR stuff that most people read despite what they post. Makes his posts really really long, and goes off on verbose rants all the time as he obviously heavily over annalyses everything or thinks it makes him look more cleverer. He is the sought of person where, if you asked him to point to his left ear, he would lift up his right arm, wrap it round his head and do it that way.
- Euroboy - One of the most deluded people on the planet. Thinks he always owns people all the time, and owns the forums he trolls on, but in reality, doesnt even have the brain power to own a hamburger.
- Pricey - "Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol... c-c-c-c-c-cocaine".
- Crabbypants - banned ages ago eh? Has the intelligence of an American eh? Attempts to post utter balderdash in an effort to appear quirky and interesting eh? Still won’t post nudes eh? Made out that she had a threesome when in actual was too stoned to do anything eh? Appears to like the abuse she gets on the forum eh?
- CHB/I Ronnie - The overgrown fratt boy of the forum. There does appear to be a considerable difference between the level of intelligence he posses compared to most of the other forums members (and to his credit, in his favour). But however, the levels seem pretty much the same when it comes to the factor of social issues. He often appears to offer himself up as a keyboard mercenary for all the others to hide behind, when arguments and debates rise above the difficulty level of novice. If anybody out there could take a pee down your back on a sunny day, but convince you to believe that it was rain, he could.
- Webs, a torettes sufferer that has developed a serious case of erotomania towards Finn. Is currently pre-occupied with posting the word 'anus' ad infinitum. Is currently suffering from ginger cock withdrawel resulting in him posting the address of leelad.net on other forums hoping that they'll troll the place into the ground. Hell hath no fury liek a 'troll' scorned.
- Kuntz: arguably the biggest case of butthurt the web has ever seen, a poster with an ass so raw and tender that each Christmas three wise men follow him around the place hoping to find the messiah. Once posted that he was a 'nice guy' because he was helping a heroin addict get clean while also claiming that he owned a DVD and widescreen TV. The bullshit is strong in this one. Recently his IP has been noted to be the same as resident village idiot Robfalcon, it is likely that this means that Kuntz is possibly a blood relative meaning that posters should not treat what he has written as if it came from a normal person.
Current Status Moar bullshit from Kuntz
As of 2008, and as a direct result of defeating it's only competition, leelad.net is finally a thriving and prosperous forum of unlimited intellectual debate, as evidenced by it's chart-topping 3 active members per day statistics. (Translation: Waaaah! I rly miss Chavscum! Waaaah!) Popular topics include the funny aspects of paedophillia, terminal illness and rape. The British medias recent coverage of reclassifying hate crime has also inspired the forums only Cristian member to ressurected the topic of condoning acts of violence motivated by social intolerance. (Link or STFU Kuntz)
Custom avatars such as 7 year old manga girls with surgically attached penises are currently all the rage. Like all popular forums, particular ones that take pride in their lawless environment, logic only dictates that half it's members are required to be assigned as moderators. Common debates over who should rape Colins (step)children first are now considered passe due to his divorce, however, there are still day to day arguments as to which of their members is responsible for the Madeline MCCan kidnapping.
Paedo-hunting is still their sport of choice. Interpol are rumoured to have requested their services and agreed to reduce their charges if their leads prove useful, as experts have agreed that only like could possibly detect like via anonymous observation. Contrary to popular belief leelad.net is not despised by the masses and has in fact a growing cult following on the nets. Current fanboys/girls of the leelad.net community consist of a literate imaginary scientist who thinks he's a psychologist, an over 30 goth who thinks it's natural to drag a subculture into her middle age and beyond, an acne ridden punchbag who lost his virginity to an illegal immigrant, and a naive 14 year old girl who gets aroused by grown men who conduct themselves as her peers.
Common Quotes and Phrases that are/were often recycled
— Look up your daughters
— Common welcome given to Robfalcon
— Welcome given to a wedding dress designing, Rolex wearing, ladyboy loving Jedi who fears the race card
- ChavScum Resurrection
- A Leelad Information Films commercial
- A look at how Nemi probably is in real life
Leelad.net is part of a series on
Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.